Board index › Coping in life › The Haven

Fairfield's Bitching and Whining Thread

Page 2 of 9 [ 138 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 9  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 72,433
Location: Chez Quis

25 Jun 2023, 3:43 am

I hate that the only people I can get along with are animals.


_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles


Fairfield
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Jan 2023
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,698

25 Jun 2023, 9:26 pm

Show Spoiler
I hate how emotionally unstable I am, I feel like a massive a**hole and like I overreact to everything. I f*****g hate dealing with myself and I feel bad that other people have to deal with me. I stress other people out way too much and I think other people would be better off if I just f*****g KMS or at the very least just stop trying to interact with others. I also feel bad for even saying s**t like this, but I genuinely think that and I am getting increasingly tired of other people having to deal with me. I try really hard to control my emotions and I'm like f*****g incapable of doing it, it's stupid.



Fairfield
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Jan 2023
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,698

26 Jun 2023, 6:09 am

Show Spoiler
I'm trying to not self harm, but I feel really mad at myself and guilty, and I just want to f*****g shred my arms. I don't know how else to calm down, and I'm trying to calm down without doing it.



Fairfield
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Jan 2023
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,698

26 Jun 2023, 7:20 am

Show Spoiler
I gave in and cut myself, but I feel semi-better now because of it so that's good. I also feel really anxious about going to work because I don't want to have a meltdown there. I'm hoping I'll calm down more before I get to work, and that maybe working will distract me from feeling sick + being angry at myself.



Recidivist
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2023
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,851
Location: He/him/his

26 Jun 2023, 5:22 pm

Fairfield wrote:
Show Spoiler
I hate how emotionally unstable I am, I feel like a massive as*hole and like I overreact to everything. I f*****g hate dealing with myself and I feel bad that other people have to deal with me. I stress other people out way too much and I think other people would be better off if I just f*****g KMS or at the very least just stop trying to interact with others. I also feel bad for even saying s**t like this, but I genuinely think that and I am getting increasingly tired of other people having to deal with me. I try really hard to control my emotions and I'm like f*****g incapable of doing it, it's stupid.


No one would be better off dude, especially me.


_________________
Another man's freedom fighter, one man's terrorist is - Yoda (probably)


Fairfield
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Jan 2023
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,698

27 Jun 2023, 12:14 pm

Show Spoiler
Been fantasizing about buying a shotgun and KMS all f*****g day long so far. I want to drink after work so bad so I can stop thinking about it. I'm trying to not drink though.



Rossall
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Oct 2021
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,641
Location: Wigan, UK

27 Jun 2023, 12:17 pm

If drinking helps then I would do it. Better than killing yourself. Maybe look at other things that calm you down like nice lighting, essential oil diffusers, ecigs and chilled out music.


_________________
Diagnosed with Schizophrenia, ADHD - Inattentive type and undiagnosed aspergers. Also drink heavily.

Interests: music (especially 80s), computers, electronics, amateur radio, soccer (Liverpool).

Paul


Fairfield
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Jan 2023
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,698

28 Jun 2023, 11:27 pm

Show Spoiler
I lowkey freaked out a bit this morning because I couldn't get one of my cuts to stop bleeding. It did eventually stop, though. That was kind of scary.



IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 72,433
Location: Chez Quis

28 Jun 2023, 11:31 pm

Come and have Breakfast tomorrow. ^


_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles


Fairfield
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Jan 2023
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,698

29 Jun 2023, 3:45 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Come and have Breakfast tomorrow. ^

My clueless ass doesn't really understand what this means. :lol:



Fairfield
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Jan 2023
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,698

29 Jun 2023, 6:13 am

Show Spoiler
Kind of considering just not taking my medicine anymore to see if it helps me feel better. I'm too scared to go to my doctor and explain what's going on, and it's not like my specific meds will kill me if I do that. I know I feel better if I stop taking Wellbutrin, but I've only been without that for a couple of days before, so I dunno. I do feel worse if I stop taking Strattera/change doses, but that wont be permanent. I think I could manage it maybe until the withdrawals/side effects go away.



Fairfield
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Jan 2023
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,698

29 Jun 2023, 4:51 pm

I'm definitely making an appointment for my doctor today, because my hernia hurts really bad again and I think got worse. I also didn't take my medication today. I'm going to see if not taking it helps me mentally + I won't lie to him about it and so I'll have to tell him why I stopped taking it (problems with alcohol use + health problems from mixing it and my worsening mental health issues).



Recidivist
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2023
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,851
Location: He/him/his

30 Jun 2023, 8:43 am

Fingers crossed for you dude.


_________________
Another man's freedom fighter, one man's terrorist is - Yoda (probably)


Fairfield
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Jan 2023
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,698

30 Jun 2023, 5:57 pm

Show Spoiler
I managed to resist the urge to get alcohol today, and didn't feel the need to cut either. My aunt came home though and made me feel like s**t for staying home from work because of my hernia, so now I regret not just getting alcohol and I want to cut really bad. I'm so pissed.



Fairfield
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Jan 2023
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,698

30 Jun 2023, 11:35 pm

Show Spoiler
I feel like doing way worse than just cutting myself, and I can't even sleep to avoid/get rid of this feeling. I've tried everything and I just somehow can't sleep at all.



Fairfield
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Jan 2023
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,698

02 Jul 2023, 9:29 am

I feel really empty and depressed, but I have such little motivation to do absolutely anything right now that I don't really want to self harm or KMS, so I guess this is somehow a win for me. lmfao

I've managed to be able to fall asleep again, so I'll probably just end up sleeping the rest of the day to avoid feeling like s**t. Also, I'm super nervous about work tomorrow because I'll have no ADHD meds of any type in me + I'm going to feel super f****n' tired like I have for days. I hope I can handle managing everything in my department like this.