No life, and a boyfriend who wants to keep it that way

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Tequila
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11 Oct 2007, 12:38 pm

You might get housing benefit or DLA? Have a look at that maybe? It might be a route to your getting out.

Is your computer bugged?



miserylovescompany
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11 Oct 2007, 12:40 pm

I don't want to leave him, I just want him to give up being like he is. and I do get a very small ammount of DLA, it was cut after the supported housing place I used to live at filled a reveiw form in wrong.



Tequila
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11 Oct 2007, 12:42 pm

Well there's not a lot I can do to help you. I thought you wanted to get out. Whatever, it's not a healthy relationship and the best way to increase your self-esteem would be to leave. This man is no good for you. If you carry on you will only feel worse as the months and years roll by.



alex
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11 Oct 2007, 12:43 pm

miserylovescompany wrote:
I'm not paying any rent, it's his own house. I have no money really.


It sounds like he doesn't make you happy and you are basically using him for a place to live. Is this the case? If so, your only option is to find another place to live or go on being miserable.


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miserylovescompany
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11 Oct 2007, 12:44 pm

No, I do love him, I just hate who he has turned into.



Tequila
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11 Oct 2007, 12:46 pm

You're weeing in the wind if you think you can change someone. Getting out is the only way to go if you want a life.



alex
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11 Oct 2007, 12:47 pm

miserylovescompany wrote:
No, I do love him, I just hate who he has turned into.


Well, don't leave. Ignore his threats to throw you out and continue to do what you want. If he truly loves you, he won't throw you out. If he does throw you out, the relationship is obviously not going to work out.


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miserylovescompany
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11 Oct 2007, 12:49 pm

I would do this, I just know I would not last very long homeless, it's not that I'm using him for a place to stay, as if it got that bad I would have to live on the streets.



Tequila
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11 Oct 2007, 12:52 pm

Why would you have to live on the streets? Your outlook is depressive. You don't know what could happen until it does.



miserylovescompany
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11 Oct 2007, 12:55 pm

No money, no family prepaired to help etc.



Tequila
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11 Oct 2007, 1:01 pm

What are your social skills like?



deadeyexx
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11 Oct 2007, 1:02 pm

You need to start visualizing what you'll do if he ever does kick you out. Start doing some research on what it'll take to land on your feet. This will dramatically reduce the power you feel he has over you and make it so much easier to leave if you feel that's what you'll eventually have to do.

To keep things simple, just focus on what it'll take financially first.



miserylovescompany
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11 Oct 2007, 1:06 pm

Tequila wrote:
What are your social skills like?


Depends on the situation, but I'm an ass to live with, I think if we did not live together, we would be just fine.



WhiteRaven
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11 Oct 2007, 1:09 pm

hey, you are in the UK, stand up to him, if he kicks you out, you can come stay with me =)

i would pick you up, whereever you lived


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Tequila
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11 Oct 2007, 1:20 pm

See, there's two men who'll rescue you. ;)



miserylovescompany
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11 Oct 2007, 1:24 pm

The sad thing is, if we did not live together, we would be ok.