I'm not doing so good.

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Yet at the same time I want to leave him with other people, I also feel like if I let him out of my sight I'm a bad mother because anything could happen to him while he's out of my sight. I feel like I let him down by having him at a hospital that didn't let us be with him while they were doing tests on him once, and didn't allow him to be in my room with me 24/7, and didn't allow us to be with him during shift changes. And I let him down by not being with him 24/7 other than that, even though we were allowed to. Yeah, we had to sleep, but we couldhave been there I left him in the hospital nursery with strangers who could have done anything to him. I also let him down by leaving him with Adverb's mother and even Adverb himself. Yet I let them take him because they do a much better job stimulating him by talking to him nice and stuff, and I don't have anything to say to him or any way to stimulate him except turning the TV on, and someone always turns it off. I never thought to play with toys with him until now. I'm slow. He likes using his hands, so why didn't I think to dangle something in front of him to entertain him? I'll try it next time. A lot of the time when I was holding him I didn't know what to do but look at him. Which probably didn't provide enough stimulation for him even though he either fell asleep or seemed content to just look at me. Maybe he fell asleep because he was bored.

Naaaaaaaaa
You didn't let him down.
Just be there when he needs you.

Your doing great. You care, and you are worried. We've all seen mothers that don't give a crap about their babies!

Seriously, you are doing great!! !

Hey, give yourself a chance. Don't give up on yourself. You, Jack, and Finnegan need one another to fulfill each others' purpose.

Here are a couple of links on postpartum depression:

Overcoming Postpartum Depression

Youtube video about Postpartum Depression

Here's some Houston resources:

Pregnancy and Postpartum Depression Support Group
Houston
The Woman’s Hospital of Texas
7600 Fannin, Houston, TX 77054
Fee: None
Telephone: 713-506-2522

Beyond Birth
Postpartum Adjustment Support Group
Houston
Saturdays at 4:30- 5:30 pm
Fee: None
Telephone: 713.506.2522

and finally, something else that might be helpful and inspiring:

Alien Parenting: A Mother with Asperger's Syndrome

Take care Ana, you sound like a good person.

Magliabechi.

abusive content removed

The Haven isn't the place for negative stuff....

I noticed you weren't around as much Ana...don't know what to say that's helpful really, except I hope that things get easier for you soon. You're doing your best in a difficult situation. Maybe the post-baby blues is telling you different, but you're doing good!
AD's help, and sometimes we can get very depressed before we realise we need them. I hope you're getting all the support you can get your hands on.
Take care.

Could be a chemical imbalance after the birth... definately go to the doctor

I'm betting it's the "responsibility", or better, knowing that there's a living human, that's a piece of you, is reliant on you (emotionally), and this equates to you being overwhelmed mentally. This is a common feeling for someone with an ASD to experience after childbirth/marriage; you wish to run away to escape this reliance and responsibility. There's only one problem, there's going to be something else around the corner that'll make you feel overwhelmed too, whether you run away or not.

My bet could be wrong, but I've seen this happen to the majority of people with an ASD who have had a child (especially the first), and/or become married/attached/committed to another human.

Jack took me to the MHMRA clinic we go to and my caseworker said the doctor said that I should just continue on the Risperdal (I'm on 4 mg) until my next appointment on the 19th... I'm also on Celexa, even though the psychiatry team at the hospital took me off it saying it might make me manic. I've been on Celexa for most of the time since July 2007, most of the time on 20 mg.


BPalmer, I'm just curious, why do you post in this thread? Do you need someone to take out some anger on? Or do you jsut feel a moral obligation to say certain things to people you consider bad?

Sounds like you're doing good!!

I'll cross my fingers for you and Lars.

Just stay away from subway tunnels, okay????

Ana, as long as you love your child unconditionally, everything else will work out.