02 Mar 2009, 6:16 pm
Fickle_Pickle wrote:
Recently, I made a discovery I'm not like all the other human beings. Basically, it's easier for people not to care about stuff (so I planned to use drugs to take away all of my feelings) and so basically greed=humanity. Also, everyone treats me like I'm still a 15-year-old (so I considered reliving my 10th grade year and get back with my old boyfriend and hang out with all the people I did when I was 15 and get back into track and running marathons as I did back then)
I'm also starting to feel less and less related to my family, they support each other, as a family would, so I feel like I'm being ganged-up on alot. (I also can wait to get a nose-job and bleach my hair so I won't LOOK like them, either)
I have no personality, and when I show it, it's usually in the form of 2-year-old style temper tantrums (so that dosen't count as it's not worthy of counting)
Everyone thinks I'm either crazy or faking. But guess what, humans? I'm not a part of your revolting, disgusting race! I am not related to my so called "family" and there's nothing you can do to make me act normal or even NT!
Yet... I'm a follower and wish ever so much to be NT and mentally healthy that I laugh at people who are proud of themselves for who they are just to hide my jealousy of them.
I may not get either of the two jobs I signed applications for because it's like they automatically know I'm not fit to have a job. THEY KNOW ME WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO SEE ME IN PERSON. Paranoid, yes. But I cannot help thinking this way even though alot of people say I have to start helping it. He-llo! Can't help it means it's practically involutnary! How am I supposed to get control of it? Through self-awareness, that's how! But it's not easy to get! So how am I supposed to get it?????
I am going crazy from all these humans making me angry and thinking I am one of them. Well, they know and understand so little....
I'm also starting to feel less and less related to my family, they support each other, as a family would, so I feel like I'm being ganged-up on alot. (I also can wait to get a nose-job and bleach my hair so I won't LOOK like them, either)
I have no personality, and when I show it, it's usually in the form of 2-year-old style temper tantrums (so that dosen't count as it's not worthy of counting)
Everyone thinks I'm either crazy or faking. But guess what, humans? I'm not a part of your revolting, disgusting race! I am not related to my so called "family" and there's nothing you can do to make me act normal or even NT!
Yet... I'm a follower and wish ever so much to be NT and mentally healthy that I laugh at people who are proud of themselves for who they are just to hide my jealousy of them.
I may not get either of the two jobs I signed applications for because it's like they automatically know I'm not fit to have a job. THEY KNOW ME WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO SEE ME IN PERSON. Paranoid, yes. But I cannot help thinking this way even though alot of people say I have to start helping it. He-llo! Can't help it means it's practically involutnary! How am I supposed to get control of it? Through self-awareness, that's how! But it's not easy to get! So how am I supposed to get it?????
I am going crazy from all these humans making me angry and thinking I am one of them. Well, they know and understand so little....
Hello Aspie friend, don't worry you are not alone. One of my quotes is Never become a Conformist. It's boring and evil. Be yourself and when there are times when you can't be yourself, don't lose hope, you'll be living on your own very soon. I totally know what you mean. I'm 21 and still live with my society norm obeying conformist parents. I'm going to be leaving in 4 months when I move into my very own appartment.
Now you were mentioning about self-awareness and how to get it. Unfortunatly, that's the number one problem with AS that's permanent. We are all Social Blind meaning we can't read scilent social cues. But I know what could help you out for the time being. SATIRE! It's a comedic artform where you can make fun at all the idiots in the world. Trust me, I have my own 30min internet TV show and I do it all the time. It helps me laugh at the world and gain myself confidence. But like most Aspies, we will fall into a slope of depression and so we have to find positive ways to get ourselfs out of it.
Now when you say that you have the personality of a child, THAT'S A GOOD THING! It's called The Inner Child! It's most important piece within your soul. Basicly your inner child is angry because you are hurt, in emotional pain, and yerning for help. I know how you feel. I too wished that I can gain wings and fly the heck outta my parents house so I don't have to put up with their nagging and seriousness EVER AGAIN! But I just have to wait 4 more months.
Don't worry, you'll get there. Try to talk to your parents and ask them when you will be able to move into your own appartment. If they say something like "You got to show us", Then you got to play their game for awhile in order for them to give you that key of freedom.
By the way, if you ever need someone to chat with, email me at ericcrooks@sbcglobal.net.
HANG IN THERE FRIEND!
02 Mar 2009, 7:27 pm
TheKingsRaven wrote:
and also since we're intelligent we're supposed to better ourselves, that's not quite working.
03 Mar 2009, 12:30 am
08 Mar 2009, 1:08 am
08 Mar 2009, 1:13 am
LiendaBalla wrote:
I take it you took a personality tests. I think those tests are BS, made to "weeve" out aspies and other minorities, and they do just that. I will fail getting any job that has that personality test bung, because I don't lie on these tests.
Walmart, Walgreens, KFC, and Garden ridge, all have personality tests. Of course I never got a call back, despite that Garden ridge had been "Now hireing" for over five years straight now.
Those terds! On the other hand, three things are the reason they always hireing. They boss is a major butt hole, the job really sucks, or the hireing is just a $% stupid system!The only reason I am able to pass these tests is that I roleplay as being he ideal employee for the company and the ideal NT type of know enough to do the job but that is about it... I see it as being an actor, but applying it to something more worthwile than Hollywood...
I am not lying but it is also practice in roleplaying as being a NT to better my ability to adapt in communicating and integrating among NT's in the outside world...
Fickle_Pickle
Veteran
Joined: 31 Oct 2005
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 974
Location: North Hollywood, California
09 Mar 2009, 5:42 pm
ericc wrote:
Fickle_Pickle wrote:
Recently, I made a discovery I'm not like all the other human beings. Basically, it's easier for people not to care about stuff (so I planned to use drugs to take away all of my feelings) and so basically greed=humanity. Also, everyone treats me like I'm still a 15-year-old (so I considered reliving my 10th grade year and get back with my old boyfriend and hang out with all the people I did when I was 15 and get back into track and running marathons as I did back then)
I'm also starting to feel less and less related to my family, they support each other, as a family would, so I feel like I'm being ganged-up on alot. (I also can wait to get a nose-job and bleach my hair so I won't LOOK like them, either)
I have no personality, and when I show it, it's usually in the form of 2-year-old style temper tantrums (so that dosen't count as it's not worthy of counting)
Everyone thinks I'm either crazy or faking. But guess what, humans? I'm not a part of your revolting, disgusting race! I am not related to my so called "family" and there's nothing you can do to make me act normal or even NT!
Yet... I'm a follower and wish ever so much to be NT and mentally healthy that I laugh at people who are proud of themselves for who they are just to hide my jealousy of them.
I may not get either of the two jobs I signed applications for because it's like they automatically know I'm not fit to have a job. THEY KNOW ME WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO SEE ME IN PERSON. Paranoid, yes. But I cannot help thinking this way even though alot of people say I have to start helping it. He-llo! Can't help it means it's practically involutnary! How am I supposed to get control of it? Through self-awareness, that's how! But it's not easy to get! So how am I supposed to get it?????
I am going crazy from all these humans making me angry and thinking I am one of them. Well, they know and understand so little....
I'm also starting to feel less and less related to my family, they support each other, as a family would, so I feel like I'm being ganged-up on alot. (I also can wait to get a nose-job and bleach my hair so I won't LOOK like them, either)
I have no personality, and when I show it, it's usually in the form of 2-year-old style temper tantrums (so that dosen't count as it's not worthy of counting)
Everyone thinks I'm either crazy or faking. But guess what, humans? I'm not a part of your revolting, disgusting race! I am not related to my so called "family" and there's nothing you can do to make me act normal or even NT!
Yet... I'm a follower and wish ever so much to be NT and mentally healthy that I laugh at people who are proud of themselves for who they are just to hide my jealousy of them.
I may not get either of the two jobs I signed applications for because it's like they automatically know I'm not fit to have a job. THEY KNOW ME WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO SEE ME IN PERSON. Paranoid, yes. But I cannot help thinking this way even though alot of people say I have to start helping it. He-llo! Can't help it means it's practically involutnary! How am I supposed to get control of it? Through self-awareness, that's how! But it's not easy to get! So how am I supposed to get it?????
I am going crazy from all these humans making me angry and thinking I am one of them. Well, they know and understand so little....
Hello Aspie friend, don't worry you are not alone. One of my quotes is Never become a Conformist. It's boring and evil. Be yourself and when there are times when you can't be yourself, don't lose hope, you'll be living on your own very soon. I totally know what you mean. I'm 21 and still live with my society norm obeying conformist parents. I'm going to be leaving in 4 months when I move into my very own appartment.
Now you were mentioning about self-awareness and how to get it. Unfortunatly, that's the number one problem with AS that's permanent. We are all Social Blind meaning we can't read scilent social cues. But I know what could help you out for the time being. SATIRE! It's a comedic artform where you can make fun at all the idiots in the world. Trust me, I have my own 30min internet TV show and I do it all the time. It helps me laugh at the world and gain myself confidence. But like most Aspies, we will fall into a slope of depression and so we have to find positive ways to get ourselfs out of it.
Now when you say that you have the personality of a child, THAT'S A GOOD THING! It's called The Inner Child! It's most important piece within your soul. Basicly your inner child is angry because you are hurt, in emotional pain, and yerning for help. I know how you feel. I too wished that I can gain wings and fly the heck outta my parents house so I don't have to put up with their nagging and seriousness EVER AGAIN! But I just have to wait 4 more months.
Don't worry, you'll get there. Try to talk to your parents and ask them when you will be able to move into your own appartment. If they say something like "You got to show us", Then you got to play their game for awhile in order for them to give you that key of freedom.
By the way, if you ever need someone to chat with, email me at ericcrooks@sbcglobal.net.
HANG IN THERE FRIEND! I would try the thing about satire, but I'm not observant enough for it. I just see everyone as callous when I know that I'm the one being too sensitive.
09 Mar 2009, 8:07 pm
Quote:
Never become a Conformist. It's boring and evil.
That is awesome and true
And the world is made of love, etc. Don't worry man, humanity isn't there to bring you down.
Fickle_Pickle
Veteran
Joined: 31 Oct 2005
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 974
Location: North Hollywood, California
09 Mar 2009, 8:29 pm
Lode wrote:
Quote:
Never become a Conformist. It's boring and evil.
That is awesome and true
And the world is made of love, etc. Don't worry man, humanity isn't there to bring you down.
But it IS.
10 Mar 2009, 7:53 am
I see it completely different. Although I have almost exclusively negative experiences interacting with people, I feel they aren't evil, just less intelligent and therefore more egocentric. NT's are in reality pretty easy to figure out and much more logical. Be the zoo-keeper and observe them. It's fun!
10 Mar 2009, 11:58 am
alba wrote:
TheKingsRaven wrote:
and also since we're intelligent we're supposed to better ourselves, that's not quite working.
I agree. heheh. Intellegant, but repeated fails at self improovment. Got it.
Last edited by LiendaBalla on 10 Mar 2009, 12:03 pm, edited 2 times in total.
10 Mar 2009, 11:59 am
Dee_ wrote:
The only reason I am able to pass these tests is that I roleplay as being he ideal employee for the company and the ideal NT type of know enough to do the job but that is about it... I see it as being an actor, but applying it to something more worthwile than Hollywood...
I am not lying but it is also practice in roleplaying as being a NT to better my ability to adapt in communicating and integrating among NT's in the outside world...
I am not lying but it is also practice in roleplaying as being a NT to better my ability to adapt in communicating and integrating among NT's in the outside world...
I tried that but failed miserably.
If you know what to put in those tests, let me know. 
10 Mar 2009, 3:49 pm
balance it, like me
i love/hate people.
its perfect.
i hate everyone, except those who want me to squeeze their boobs, or those who roll me a joint
(so far i still hate everyone)
Fickle_Pickle
Veteran
Joined: 31 Oct 2005
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 974
Location: North Hollywood, California
10 Mar 2009, 9:32 pm
Kenjuudo wrote:
I see it completely different. Although I have almost exclusively negative experiences interacting with people, I feel they aren't evil, just less intelligent and therefore more egocentric. NT's are in reality pretty easy to figure out and much more logical. Be the zoo-keeper and observe them. It's fun!
Like I said, my powers of observation are WEAK!! ! It just won't work. Besides, I'm the sub-species below humans; they RULE me!
Besides, I have Borderline/Histrionic personality disorder (although no one believes me) and I'll just exaggerate everything as I see things in black and white.
Fickle_Pickle
Veteran
Joined: 31 Oct 2005
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 974
Location: North Hollywood, California
20 Mar 2009, 4:25 am
Fickle_Pickle
Veteran
Joined: 31 Oct 2005
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 974
Location: North Hollywood, California
01 Apr 2009, 4:03 am
01 Apr 2009, 7:57 am
