What keeps you from committing suicide?

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I think of the negative inpact it would have on my kids for years to come. I don't want to put them through that.

Because I made a promise to someone that I would not. I don't even know where that person is or what has become of her, but . . .a promise is a promise.
It is really difficult to keep that promise, though. Really difficult.
Merle

Fear of failing at the act of suicide, and being found and treated like a ret*d baby for the rest of my life.

The pain of actually attempting of killing myself. Such as a knife stabbed in my chest would be really painful.
And I know that if I do well enough in the next few years, I have future ahead of me that I would like and conform with.

I don't feel completely hopeless about my life yet. I still feel that I could find a way to be happy and be successful. I would have to feel as if my life is completely hopeless about my life in order to commit suicide without hesitation. Plus committing suicide is a big decision to make and I have difficulties making minor decisions such as what to read or whether to buy something, etc.

I have too many people who depend on me.

Because there just might come an opportunity for me to destroy humanity, and unless the circumstance was strange in that my suicide destroyed humanity I don't want to miss that chance.

For me it's curiosity, and the fact that I know my life can only go up from here.

lost my gun, waiting for that final breaking point, not enough courage to kill myself any other way.

A few things that have kept me from committing suicide:

1. If I did, it would leave others like me in danger of similar or even worse treatment.
2. The next person like me would have to start over from the beginning.
3. My unique circumstances could benefit society.
4. I don't want the world to be overtaken by mean people.
5. The idea of eternal recurrence suggests that I will be reborn infinitely many times.
6. Even if I have planned suicide in the past, newfound knowledge gives me sudden reason to live.

The people who would have to find/deal with the body.

Instinctive fear of death and hope for some decent relationships eventually (getting better already since my last suicidal episode).

When I was 8, I had razorblades hidden between the windowsill and the sash windows so if I got the urge I could slash my wrists and not have to go to the bathroom to find the blades. So it is not like I haven't had this problem all my life.

I won't even go into all the times I hitch hiked drunk and was picked up by men and I had no sensibilities as to what happened to me until I came to and had to take care of myself. I could have never woken up, but I did, every time, and was somewhat the worse for wear, but not dead.

yeah, I got a tent and ****** ** ** ****** and was ready to do me in when the people whose land the tent was had a weeks visit from 6 grand kids. The idea of those kids 'exploring' the old tent in the woods and finding me in a state of disintegration held me back.

I had already got my bike up to over 30 miles per hour on a down hill bike path and crashed into the guardrail ripping my cheek and eye open and pitched into the creek some 30 feet down, fracturing my back in 5 places when I fell among the rocks. I bled and struggled for hours until some guy out jogging before dawn stumbled over my mangled bike and looked over the cliff and down into the creek and called the ambulance. I banged myself up pretty good. I don't know if anyone else has been pulled back from almost offing yourself. It took all the courage I had for the first attempt, I haven't really had the courage to pull something like that again, though.

but all of this was BEFORE I realized what was going on (autism) in my life, guys! I didn't have the whole story! Matter of fact, even when I get that old (GD!) urge to just DIE! I know inside I don't have all the information, I don't have the whole story, I might just be giving up 5 minutes before the MIRACLE. . .

well, anyway. Who would take care of my cat? He would go back to the pound and probably not be the pick of a good home. Anyway, it's as good a reason as any

don't do it weeping cloud, just don't.

My motive exactly. I would be dead for years if it weren't for that. My thoughts are more or less:







and, above all:



Life is not torture for me, but neither do I get much out of it; likewise, apart from my family it wouldn't affect anyone much either way. I don't kill myself (even though I could easily get effective and fairly quick & painless means) because I can't do that to my parents.

I come from a religious family and was forced to go to church every sunday for about 10 years... so even though i don't actually go to church anymore and don't want anything to do with religion, there's that weird fear that there might be something bad after death... so i basically don't want to end up in a place worse than the one i'm in right now...

But damn, if i knew for sure that there's nothing at all after death, i'd bang my head into a brick wall till i die... dreamless sleep 24/7 is pretty much the best thing that could possibly happen after death in my opinion... o.O