Does everyone want rid of you?

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Greentea
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27 Apr 2009, 1:19 pm

Sublyme, sounds very much like me.

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sbcmetroguy
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27 Apr 2009, 1:30 pm

Sublyme wrote:

I have felt like that most of my life actually. When I was little not even the kids in my special- ed class wanted anything to do with me. My family didn't either...I was special, developmentally delayed, stupid, and a just and expensive burden to them.....

When I was a bit older and hit puberty, and grew breasts the only people that wanted anything o do with me were boys....and the girls all ostracized me and made fun of me. As a teenager I hung out with drug addicts and junkies.....they were too stoned or high to realize they didn't want anything to do with me and I was actually okay with that....

When I got older and entered the workforce I soon found out that no one wanted anything to do with me. I was hated by my coworkers and I don't know why. I never did anything to them. I tried to engage in small talk....though I opted to keep my mouth shut if I had something to say most of the time....because I knew from experience I often offend people without meaning to. Maybe they saw me as aloof, or stuck up....I tried to be polite, I said "good morning" and "good night" and stuff.....maybe it was because I was a very young college graduate and I was viewed as a child still....and annoying little child....

Even now, I'm not that young anymore, but still the youngest in my group....and I am still the least important chemist in my group. Every one's projects are more important than my own....every one's voice is louder than mine. I feel like I can't even approach my boss to have her evaluate the status of one of my projects, and when I manage to I am ignored....I feel like an annoyance to her and all of my coworkers....and to everyone around me....I'm sure my coworkers would be happy to see me go....

Even in a store waiting to be helped by a sales person....I'm often completely ignored, and the next customer is taken care of....it's like I'm invisible.....it's like "if we ignore her...maybe she'll go away"

Even my fiance seems to feel this way.... I'll show up at his house and I'm greeted with..."oh...you again....why don't you just go home...I'm not in the mood for you."

So yeah....it's sort of the story of my life.....I think if I died...no one would even notice....

Wow, you sound like the female version of me. The only differences here being the breasts thing and the fiance thing. In my case my fiance was the only person I felt wanted me. But now that we're married I no longer feel that way and it's really sad. I admit I was "fake" when I was dating my wife. I tried to be someone I'm not. I was charming, outgoing, and all that ... and to this day I still don't know how I was able to pull that off with my lacking social skills and even more lacking self-esteem.

I started where I work now when I was 19 and I am 29 now. I was always viewed by my coworkers and bosses as a "kid" and, unfortunately despite being 29 years old, in their eyes I'm still "that kid". I get zero respect and I hate it. I have basically no voice because I do not speak up, I get walked all over, and passed up for promotions by people who have been here less time than me but are willing to speak up.

I understand where you're coming from (both of you) and I want you to all know that you're not the only ones, and I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one either. Too bad we can't all just create a commune and live and work there together while shutting out the rest of the world, I feel I would relate to both of you quite well.

MissConstrue
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27 Apr 2009, 3:17 pm

Greentea wrote:

Friends, bosses, family/relatives, etc.?

Everyone wants rid of me, and I have no idea why. Am I alone in this?

It isn't so much they want to get rid of me but I think some of them either percieve me as stupid or boring. I've even had people ignore me on purpose and never had the gumption to ask why. So it's more or less getting the cold shoulder than being rid of.

But yeah, I feel like some people would like to get rid of me. Like yourself, I felt like I've always been the only one or nearly the first few who have gotten fired or laid back in jobs.....really does hurt to see other people treated differently especially when you know personally you've done more than that person next to you who got promoted did.

Anyway, haven't seen my family in a while and they get together and do stuff without me, especially my sisters which really hurts. It was the same way with my friends.

Use to get drunk so I could be this fun and exciting person and it helped for a while. Not that I'm saying all this stuff is true, but that's what it feels like and I do see a difference between how I'm treated and how some other people are treated.

Now I just go into my own world and sketch, play guitar and piano to sort of balance me out. It's the only things that give me a true sense of identity.

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ignisfatuus
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27 Apr 2009, 3:32 pm

Ligea_Seroua wrote:

More like quietly sidelined and ignored....active "getting rid" would mean people would have to make an effort to interact...

Which is worse, isn't it? At least active persecution signals some level of involvement. Marginalization through indifference is, perhaps, the ultimate insult.

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MissConstrue
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27 Apr 2009, 3:40 pm

zen_mistress wrote:

(((((((Greentea))))))))))))) I think you need to find like-minded people. That is the problem with having a rare personality type, it can be hard to find friends.

As to whether people want to get rid of me. Yes people have at times. I guess they just didnt understand.

Seconded, and I find your posts on this forum like other members highly unique and stimulating.

I think it's not easy for many of us to communicate in the same way normal typicals do.

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gina-ghettoprincess
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27 Apr 2009, 3:52 pm

Even my best friend, who always stood by me, is currently online but not replying to my goddamn email!! I know why and all...cos the girl he likes is also currently online. :roll:

ANYWAY...yes, everyone does always want rid of me. And they don't generally keep that desire to themselves.

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hartzofspace
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27 Apr 2009, 4:23 pm

sbcmetroguy wrote:

I know my neighbors would like to be rid of me, but to hell with them. I've been there longer than everyone around me, and as long as I don't lose my house, I'm not planning to move anywhere.

Same here. I have lived here for going on 3 years, and some of the neighbors moved in after me. The ones on my right, well, the first time I spoke to the female, she was rude to me. Her husband greets me with "How's it going?", which confuses me, because I don't know what he's referring to. The neighbor on my right, well, one day I foolishly told him I had AS. He's been weird, ever since. So, basically, I now ignore them. Sometimes it hurts, but mostly, I don't care.

sbcmetroguy wrote:

People are so afraid of what they do not understand, and those of us who they do not understand get treated like crap for it.

Tell me about it!

sbcmetroguy wrote:

The guy who used to live next door to me was extremely nice, and even though he could tell I don't have good social skills, he would stand outside and talk to me when I was watering my lawn. Now I don't even work in the yard at all because I am afraid of getting caught having to talk to my next door neighbor and I am simply paranoid of it.

The couple who used to live next door to me were nice as hell, but I hated having to feel ambushed whenever I walked past their house. I would get sucked into pointless conversations, where anxiety would knot up my insides, thus increasing the odds of me saying or doing something dumb or weird, or...Yeah, that.

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zen_mistress
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27 Apr 2009, 4:43 pm

MissConstrue wrote:

I think it's not easy for many of us to communicate in the same way normal typicals do.

True, it isnt easy to communicate like others, sometimes it can feel like trying to solve a calculus equation or something.

Quote:

Seconded, and I find your posts on this forum like other members highly unique and stimulating.

Thank you. I need some outlet for my silliness

and this board serves it well.
But seriously, I often wondered what others thought of my posts and it is really nice to read that you think this.

I always thought your posts were very witty, sophisticated and intelligently written.

ScottF
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30 Apr 2009, 5:08 pm

Yeah, I tend to just feel ignored, especially on here. I posted a thread in the video games section about a fix for the XBox 360. 60 page views but not ONE response... I don't know what I did to deserve this crappy treatment here, a comment like, oh, thats a good idea or thank you for that info would be nice, but no, nothing, I came here looking for friends and I can barely get anyone to talk to me.

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hartzofspace
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30 Apr 2009, 6:50 pm

ScottF wrote:

That happened to me when I posted a profile on Aspie Affection. Tons of views, but nobody attempted to communicate with me. I took the profile off. Damn it. :roll:

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raisedbyignorance
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08 May 2009, 11:34 pm

I have a feeling that a good amount of people I'm friends with on facebook secretly want rid of me...along with everyone else who isnt family.

Fickle_Pickle
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09 May 2009, 2:18 am

I want rid of me.

Ligea_Seroua
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09 May 2009, 7:55 pm

ScottF wrote:

I know the feeling :cry:

but I've got exams and I'm not fit to be around other humans until end of may....so I can't make the effort and pm any of you above to say hello, as I'd probably have a total meltdown. :lol:

But yes, sometimes I get the sneaky paranoid feeling everyone else on WP is actially really good friends and go for picnics together, laughing and carefully not holding hands as they run through the fields....

It's my own fault though, I'm not into philosophy or anime and don't have a lurid lovelife to report in detail in the adult forum :lol:

Watch me kill this thread too......

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Franklin-Newman
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10 May 2009, 2:56 am

My relatives seem to think I'm supposed to change to please them, and send me away if I don't. Even though I'm an adult who can make my own decisions. The one man I actually did manage to start a year-long partnership with even sent me away when he couldn't understand me. Of course, I suspect the fact that he started seeing someone on the side when I couldn't bring in an income due to illness was a major factor . . . My coworkers don't understand why I'm so strange, but at least with them, since it's known I'm a writer, I have the excuse of being an eccentric artist to relate them to. But it's my relatives who hurt me the worst. Your Mother is supposed to love you when no one else will. Mine might as well have been a tiger shark. That species is known to eat its own young.

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