Rants

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@aussiebloke So it isn't just me? Thank God!

Many people do except the big difference is that they don't care. I'd personally call it hedonistic myopia and the truth is people don't care so much about the future as they do enjoying themselves now, and elevating ones status through having ever more money and conspicuously spending it is something most NTs are driven to do, as most NTs are driven by status.

"i think you can't help being cold and inhuman"

pff, sod off you cockmerchant.

Who's there to talk to when you're all alone

I think I might use that one from now on

So many worries, fears, sickness, all compounded. Hits me hardest in the middle of the night. A psychotic person who has good reason to hold a grudge against me and knows where I live I believe has been actively involved in identity fraud. I am logically trying to figure out a plan of action to secure my safety in advance but it's tricky to come up with anything since said person knows where I live.

Sometimes it hurts when I am reminded of how different I am from other aspies. Ok, so im told I come across as a popular blonde girl/cheerleader in high school type - how can someone like me have had the experiences i have had? but that doesn't scrape the surface. Sometimes I feel so immensely complicated if even I can't understand me how can anybody else?I know that I will never fit in with any groups (including AS) but be part of all groups but the comfort of belonging somewhere, of not being the only one, seems tempting at times when I see the vastness within and without and in weak moments I long for solidarity in both. I am prepared to give up my life for something bigger than myself but i am afraid i have become too fragmented to achieve this purpose.

It's nice to write into the void. Maybe something will even write back and wisdom will be engendered. Either way, it doesn't matter. Mostly I write to myself, or my future self.

Also, my apologies for the poor grammar and punctuation. I'm writing from my mobile phone.

thanks, i made it myself

Audi drivers or as Jermay Clarkson of Top gear fame likes to call them cocks, if you have money tun burn why not drive a individual and buy a big French (black) 4 door or Italian will do, you hardly see any on the road even , been only very midly intrested in cars it still manges to turn my head.(seriously)

I don't frickin get it, why is that people act all nice to your face and then just quit talking to you. I need a place or person to help me unload and this crap is ridiculous. Everytime i come on here, i try to find someone to talk to and i get a few messages and then they stop. WHY Do i bore people. I thought this was the place where i can meet people like myself.......WTF!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

^ If other people are anything like me they are unable to keep up their end of correspondence no matter how much they actually want to talk to the person. In fact the more I want to talk to them the greater the chance I won't do it for some reason, something to do with social anxiety or something.

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Well I want to cry. I feel like a straw person. I can't take any more. I can't tell when I'm onto something or when it's just something my mind makes up. I am just so sad. I feel wasted.

i want to sneek out to melbourne at easter with my comrades but the chances that i'll be able to are very very slim. i hate religious holidays usually because it means lots of church and family but now i just detest it for preventing me from specifically going to the marxism conference and more generally living my life and being happy. well that and domineering parents. there was a session on differing perspectives on simone de beauvoir on the left i wanted to see. maybe next next year.

Yesterday I had to put my cat to sleep. I had my kitty for 18 years, since he was 6 weeks old. I think I was closer to him than anyone. This a month after my Dad passed away.
Everything looks like it's in a state of decay to me. I feel so angry and frustrated.

in sorry about your dad and cat, anne2011. it's hard loosing a cat at any time but when you've had them for that long and since they were kittens it's like they're your little baby.

I think I'm schizophrenic.

What leads you to that conclusion?

My paranoia, waxy, thought disorder, disorganized, craving of water, no reality, inappropriate emotions, and grandiosity. I'm sure there is more but this is all I can remember.

I'm not sure that it is safe for us to talk though, since it can activate me or you. nvm probably to late for that anyways.