Alcohol and Substance Abuse Counselling Thread

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Vodka? Booze of the devil. Eugh.

Now, a decent single malt on the other hand...

it all tastes awful to me

Ah, but ...



Yes. I had my first drink ever almost 40 years ago, and I remember that experience being exactly like you have just described.



Just in case you might some day find yourself having trouble with alcohol, let me help you try to put all of this in a workable perspective. What you have just mentioned is actually more of an "obsession for the effect" rather than an actual "craving for alcohol" ... and here is why it can be important to distinguish betwee the two:



If you ever find you absolutely cannot control how much you drink, that will be because of an actual "physical craving" set off by alcohol after it enters your system. So, enjoy the effect you get from a few drinks and think about it (obsess) just as much as you want ... then see what happens when you drink. Some people can drink reasonably, safely and responsibly, but others of us just cannot.

thanks for your advice. i guess you're right about the obsession for the effect thing. i guess i do drink safely-ish, i never drink so much i get a hangover or can't remember things. i just need to prioritize my schoolwork more, i get so stressed about it.

so you had the same experience as me the first time - what happened in the years following?

In my own case, satisfying that mental-emotional "obsession" for the effect of a few quickly became very important for me ... but I certainly wanted to be careful and not turn into a drunk. Have you ever heard about Dr. Jekyll and "Everybody Hyde"?! So, I set a two-beers-per-day limit for myself, and only after dinner in the evening, of course ... and that lasted for about a month or so since I seemed to be doing so well.

After learning my way around the liquor store and deciding my favorites, I did okay for about a year ... then the out-of-control drinking began "sneaking up on me", so to speak, and I began wondering what was going on. Where I used to be able to always decide about how much I would drink, I had become a volume drinker even when I only wanted a few to "just take the edge off", like in the past.

Ultimately, I ended up realizing I would have to quit drinking altogether if I wanted to remain alive ... and here I am now ... and I hope you never find yourself in such a place.

I just joined here and it's somewhat comforting to see I'm not the only aspie substance abuser... I drink a decent amount, sometimes nearly everyday for months, usually much more when I'm at school. I smoke mj, never tobacco, most everyday (unless I think there's a chance I'll get caught) and it has been my best friend for a long time. I also go on adderall binges (never more than 20mg/day though) for the productivity and that sweet god-like feeling. Given the choice I would only smoke, but society puts demands on me and mj is the illegal one for some reason I have yet to comprehend.

I also very rarely take psychedelics, but I would a hell of a lot more if I knew where to get them safely. Unfortunately I'm usually pretty depressed so they are risky.

I guess I do all of this for the escape from this world, these people so damned different from me, and the demands they put on me. mj in particular forces my mind away from all my negative thoughts and makes me want to do and enjoy fun things. I am becoming rather dependent on this escapism but I personally don't yet mind.

That's my substance abuse experience, I'm sure a few of you can relate in some way.

Disclaimer: I would not recommend doing any of these things if you do not already. I would recommend mj, but its legal status brings a lot of paranoia and social stigma along with it.

At 20 I would have written the exact same post minus the adderall and with a lot more drinking and a few other extras. I actually began clean up my act when my 21st bday was coming up and I could buy all the alcohol I could drink anytime I wanted, it was a terrifying realization. Now 12 yrs later I have had 10 yrs without getting drunk,I rationalized no more than 2 beers on occasion for a few of those but this is dangerous for me. I did use MJ daily for years as I believed it relieved my anxiety and I could ramble on and be permitted social fau paxs not acceptable sober. When I was in the hospital for a week and had pneumonia I didnt smoke for weeks it was a blessing in disguise. Now I have so much less anxiety and emotional eruptions it was so hard to adjust to having feelings and not numbing myself but I wouldnt go back to being a pothead for anything.

You have described the illusion as well as I have ever heard: The "self-medication" of alcohol or any other drug is a personal "right of choice", of sorts, but never a true path to personal wellness.

Too true , our minds trick us into rationalizing so many things that are not good for us. Anything used in excess or for the purposes of escaping instead of developing coping mechanisms is dangerous. I do believe in using shamanic herbs in a ritual manner but there again you can reach these places with extreme meditation, fasting, isolation and ceremony. Unfortunately there is no support in our western world for these extreme measures so we have plant teachers, entheogens that some choose to take as recreational drugs to escape without the mental and physical preparation of a ceremony.
PS: no I dont do mushrooms (did them dont like it) but I am fascinated by them, became obsessed over amanitas like the one in my avatar at age 5.

Last edited by ilivinamushroom on 09 Feb 2010, 10:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'm new here, and though I try to read through a thread before replying, that would take me days in this case.

I'm probably alcoholic. I'm dealing with a hell of a lot that has happened in my life. I didn't start drinking until I was 25 years old, which I think is atypical of those with a drinking problem. I'm wondering if alcohol abuse is more common, less common, or about the same among autistic people as compared to the general population.

I hesitate to give the worst details of my life, but I will mention one--I lost my true love and it took me about 20 years before I was really over that. The main reason she left, I think, was because of my depression, my not being able to be a pleasant person no matter how much I wanted to be. That depression was there long before I started drinking.

What happens to a person in life doesn't cause one to have a problem with alcohol or drugs, and I'm well aware of that. I chose half-life over total life, because that was easier. That was all I could handle, in fact. The plans of suicide went away.

I think you might be right about late-starters being atypical, but you are in good company! I got started just a year before you, and Bill W., an A.A. co-founder began at 22:

"War fever ran high in the New England town to which we new, young officers from Plattsburg were assigned, and we were flattered when the first citizens took us to their homes, making us feel heroic. Here was love, applause, war; moments sublime with intervals hilarious. I was part of life at last, and in the midst of the excitement I discovered liquor."



I tend to think autistics are less likely to even drink at all, but that sure did not stop me!



I lost mine after one of my brothers came by the house one evening to tell me she and my boss had been having an affair for six months. But, "my not being able to be a pleasant person no matter how much I wanted to be" had a lot to do with that.



Sure, and now you need something to replace the alcohol, correct?

That was my deal.

leejosepho, thank you much for the time you took to thoughtfully answer my post!

It hurts to hear of how you lost your true love. It hits close to home.

I tried beer a few times with friends when I was younger and it didn't interest me at all. I didn't like the feeling of loss of control. Only later when I was dealing with really hard stuff did I like how it took me away from the immediate situation.

Last September I quit drinking. I felt a lot better. Then SAD (seasonal affective disorder that is a part of my life when I'm in a climate like here in western Oregon) started getting the best of me in November. Once again I settled for a few hours of escape per day. That's where I am right now.

What I need to replace the alcohol is: sobriety, in a place where I don't get SAD, and that is almost anywhere else. I'm looking forward to the day I can manage that. In the central Oregon desert I had no problem with seasonal depression.

I never got that far when I was young. In our early 'teens, a friend and I once found a few beers that either a non-alcoholic fisherman had forgotten or an alcoholic fisherman had passed out and lost in a creek, but I did not like the taste and I knew what my dad would have done if he ever found out!



A little like this, maybe ...

"Now and then a serious drinker, being dry at the moment says, 'I don't miss it at all. Feel better. Work better. Having a better time.' As ex-problem drinkers, we smile at such a sally (e.g. an attack against his real problem). We know our friend is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits. He fools himself. Inwardly he would give anything to take half a dozen drinks and get away with them ..." ("A.A.", the book, pages 151-152)



A little like this, maybe ...

"He will presently try the old game [of trying to drink safely] again, for he isn't happy about his sobriety. He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it." (page 152)



Ah ... a geographical cure, eh?!

I have already tried that for you, and many times!



Sure, and I also have SAD ... but seasonal depression is not why people like us drink.

Consider:

Son Of A B-tch, Everything is Real.

"If [sobriety and sunshine] were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would have recovered long ago." (pages 44-45)

I needed something to replace the alcohol in my life, Andy, and that is why I am talking with you:

"'I know I must get along without liquor, but how can I? Have you a sufficient substitute?'
"Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that. It is a fellowship [made up of recovered others like ourselves]. There you will find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead. Thus we find the fellowship [we share], and so will you." (page 152)

Warning: The above can almost never be found in today's AA.

Thanks, leejosepho. SAD is real and the effect of almost eternal overcast on me is real and pretty severe. I did feel great for that couple of months; I wasn't just trying to convince myself. I felt more positive, had more energy even though I slept less, and I felt there were more things possible in life.

You're off on a couple of things, but I will keep in mind what you've said.

Does anyone here know of a way to make yourself stop needing to be stoned?
lemme give a lil background on this problem
when I was 14 or 15 I became a casual cannabis user. I spent the summer between 7th and 8th grade getting high for free with my neighbor who was in a higher grade than me, which made me think of him as older even though I was actually a year older then him, by hanging out with him on days that he didnt have plan's to go anywhere. We would be stuck at home smoking all day while all the adults would be at work since we didn't have school.
I never bought the s**t until about 16 when I bought my first sack (a half ounce) for 60 bucks which was all of the money I'd gotten from various relatives because I had made all A's and a C on my report card. It lasted about 5 days of being high from when I got up till I fell asleep.
After that every dime I got bought more pot until I got my first car. Then it all went to pot and just enough gas to go buy it. I started dealing weed when I was 18, I only sold enough to get more and pay for the gas used selling it the rest was for me. I did that for a while till my source stopped getting shipments. I started back up slinging when I graduated investing all my graduation money in grass that was too expensive to re sail for any real profit. I blew all 900 bucks in less then a month
Ever since 17 I have spent every chance I get to get high getting high.If I don't wake and bake I have no appetite for breakfast and eating at all sober makes me feel sick. If i don't go to bed high I don't sleep and If I run out of dope and money I find anything I can (usually my parents wine) to get me high. its just that every time I stop feeling some kind of intoxication I feel like something's missing. I always felt like being high made all the anxiety I feel all the time go away but it now seem's like all I can do is be anxious every time I'm high cause I know it'll end then when it does the anxiety gets worse because I know my grass wont last till I can get more and I feel insanely bored.
I know noone likes to read long post's about other's problems but I really have no idea what to do about this. It's making getting my life started really really hard because every time I get a job I don't last because I go in high and they notice. All the money I make does me no good because I smoke as much of my check as I can. Im supposed to start going to tech college this fall but I know I'm gonna end up going to class stoned or sitting there not paying attention in class because if i don't show up high ill just be sitting there day dreaming about how high ill get when I get home. Ill waste time accomplishing nothing just waiting on the day to end staring at the clock. I have to get help somehow because my parents will not let me live here at home for free forever.
Does anybody have ANY kind of input for me? please.

That is *exactly* where I used to be when sober, and that is also proof that sobriety is *not* the solution for the lonliness and despair of "something's missing".

The solution is found in fellowship on a spiritual path with like-minded others.