I've never been in the exact same situation, but I had an ex harassing me once. I had to call the police on him to get them to do something... I felt really bad too. I did love him once, and he turned on me. He lied about a lot of things and I trusted him enough to believe him, and that hurt - emotionally, but I have a thing about people who say things they don't mean; eventually it physically makes my head hurt and I get confused and sometimes feel sick etc. It took me quite a while to get over the fact that he'd changed that much or that there were things about him I'd been wrong about, and a lot of support from those around me. I felt guilty for calling the police on him too - some people said it was too much, and I wondered if they were right and maybe I shouldn't be calling the police over something so trivial? But then there were the people who did care about me, who said that there was nothing wrong with doing what I had to in order to ensure my own safety, and that seeing as my ex had done me wrong, he deserved to be punished. It's also a good thing to bear in mind that the police are highly unlikely to punish him for anything he didn't do - for example, if you want him arrested and put away for rape and assault (as he should be, among other things) the police aren't going to beat him to a pulp and put him in a torture chamber for the rest of his life (though I'll admit that image is somewhat appealing...). They will only punish him for what he's actually done. Objectively, anybody who's done what he's done would receive a particular kind of treatment. They're not going to be 'mean' to him; they're going to treat him the same way they would anybody else. I know that's easier said than done but try to bear that in mind.
But otherwise - it's great that you've done what you have, and you seem a little better =D x
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