Any other ACoA's (Adult Children of Alcoholics) here?

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Absolutely. That's why the theme of recovery is "one day at a time."

Interesting question. I'm sure that my inability to let go of past pain/trauma/upset has a huge effect on my ability to process and let go of the emotional abuse I suffered from my father. I guess I'll never know to what degree that might have been possible. Would my father have been kinder, more patient and forgiving if he knew about Asperger's? It's a remote possiblity but my gut feeling is no. 'Nam era jarhead was set in his ways by the time he returned from the 'police action' in Vietnam. He didn't know how to be encouraging or supportive - only critical and condescending... like a drill sargeant... it was supposed to make you stronger. (seriously, the military really should have a deprogramming program in place for those leaving the service... of course, the 60's militray was a much different place)

The two have always coexisted so I have no 'normal' control to compare it to... so.. I don't know.

I don't know if YouTube videos are appropriate for the Haven, but I'm not posting this for 'entertainment'. As has already been discussed in the thread, some people create art, writing, music, etc as a form of therapy. Catharsis.

Take it away, Billy... [Warning: some PG-13 language.]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnihSgEG_qE[/youtube]

My parents both drank themselves to death. It took my father much longer than my mother. I have a serious problem of being wired to desperately crave approval on one hand and yet I am awkward and eccentric on the other hand. I perceive/project disapproval of myself onto almost everyone. My aspergers is not as bad as it used to be, and certainly not as intense as other aspies I've met. I'm not sure how much of my trouble stems from aspergers and how much stems from my upbringing, although I did exhibit some traits before my childhood went sour. When I'm nervous sometimes the aspergers flairs up and I'll stop making eye contact and this in turn makes me feel like people want to write me off as a rat.

Well I recently found out most of my family is alcholic or has alchoholic tendencies at least I knew my dad and some realitives on his side of the family had those sorts of issues but not so much on my moms side yeah my moms side is no better they are just better at hiding it, but I don't feel like its a major issue in my life......its just more proof that I should not put others first to the extent I have for most of my life.

I think it effects all of us in different ways, but the pool of traits is more or less the same. Therapy can help, I know I seriously need some. Some effects may manifest themselves later.