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so forgetting going with him
seems like your doubts were right
if you really want to find out just follow him
but do you really want to bring the worms out of the bag??
no then leave it alone
let him enjoy his old age.

"let him enjoy his old age. "
Are you serious?

So you think it's a matter of an old age affair? Who knows? Maybe it's way bigger than this, maybe he was having a second wife more than 20 years ago, maybe he has another son of my age.
And what about this Mercedes? Dad never suggested us to get a Mercedes, we can't afford a Mercedes, we can't afford its high fuel consumption. So she either earns more than my mom (my mom works as a math teacher) or most of his salary was going to this b***h and he was laughing at us about his real salary all this time.

Are you realizing the depth of the issue?



The only reason I am holding back is my mom, she has other concerns, she's still recovering from her breast cancer surgery. Very bad timing for any action (despite that I wouldn't tell her anything,but any action might cause leaking...). That's why I am so hesitant to do anything right now.

But I won't stand still forever that's for certain.

And if anything exposed in one way or another and caused harm to my mother, not only worms I would bring out of the bag, but serpents, scorpions and storms too and my life's ultimate goal would make their (dad+the second woman) pity and treacherous lives miserable, he surely would have enjoyed enough before. My other boo face isn't nice at all.

True. Your mother's feelings matter the most.

So whatever you choose to do, be careful how you do it.

But I'm sure you know what to do, for you are the Boo.

This is too funny. Check this out:

color
neighbor
THE bank
THE store



Stay classy, YourMother.

To The_Face_of_Boo:
Your evidence consists of (1) an absentminded mumble about something incoherent; (2) ditching you to go to a funeral; (3) going to funerals.

You haven't followed up, you haven't confronted him, you know absolutely nothing. Honestly, all these people commenting as if your dad leading a double life is now fact is just as funny as YourMother's off-topic wrongness. Now, I know this is probably more common over there than in America, but you've got to straighten this out before you continue to carry on like this. Talk to him man to man and find out the truth.

Please spare the whole "I'm so unpredictable" thing. Lots of men do this and it's just puffed chests and nothing more. If your suspicions are true and you cannot forgive him, cut contact and move on. Just be mature and reasonable and handle it. Then let your mother make her own decisions. Mind you, if you're wrong, he may want nothing more to do with you. But carrying on like this when you have nothing to back it up is pointless.

I hope you're right wefunction, I hope that's all empty doubts in my head. I hope that you're the only smartass who was right all along and all those who posted here are funny clowns as you implied.





And what if he denies it all? What if he acted that there's nothing? I am 100% he can do it. Unlike me, he can be a good actor indeed , I surely know him better than you. I can't detect lies at all too.

You're making things too simple.

Of course you know him better. He could possibly lie to your face. He could possibly be truthful. You don't know exactly what he'll say or how he'll say it until you confront him. Since his brother was caught with a double life, I suggest starting the conversation with that. Talk about the case where the widows meet at the funeral and how enraged you'd be if you were that widow's son. Watch his reactions to you, the things he cannot hide like body language. Is he responding differently than normal to this conversation? Is he refusing to participate? Is he trying to change the subject? If he's doing it, he'll hear the accusation without you saying it. I don't know him but I can guess that he's not stupid. Just keep cool and calm. Keep it a discussion about Not-Him to see if his reactions and body language give him away.

If he's not involved, he'll likely participate in the discussion and provide more information, especially about his brother. Maybe he'll bring up other people who've done it. Who knows. It'll be an actual discussion and you'll have no indication that he's involved at all. If you still suspect him based on the previous incidents, just follow him to find out if he's going where he said he was going.

If you feel his reactions have provided substance to your suspicion, let some time pass so he feels like agitated and watch him. How many times does he leave? Then begin the discussion again, asking him about the number of times he leaves and is unaccounted for. Discuss that he ditched you. Ask him to explain the phrase about the Mercedes and any other weird things he's said over time. This is the confrontation. Say bottom line things like, "Man to man, tell me the truth." If he's lying at that point, I think you'll know. I really think you'll know.

I can appreciate that this is a very passionate issue that's close to your heart. You love your parents and this isn't something you want to see happen to them. Right now there's nothing factual to convict him. You really have to take the next step to get closer to the truth. I think you need the truth for your own health.

When you quoted his Mercedes talk, I thought he was saying something about your mother. As in "My wife should have bought a Mercedes so I wouldn't have to take my son to his job interview".

After you told about his apparent obsession with funerals and obituaries, I thought he was expecting the death of some friend. Some friend who wanted to buy a Mercedes and had a chance to at some point of her life, but didn't do it for some reason. Now she had some terminal disease and was going to die without having the car of her dreams.

Frankly, I'm amazed you could think of a relation between such random events. To me, none of that made sense and your suspicion lacks evidence. If your father is/was cheating on your mother for such a long time, you or your mother would have picked some clues during those years. If he were able to hide it for so long, he sure as hell wouldn't let it slip in such a random way.

To put it bluntly, either your suspicion is unfounded or there is more to it than you are telling us.

My mom DOESN'T DRIVE. She has driving phobia.

And we never ever had a family discussion about any Mercedes before.

Btw, the Mercedes talk happened before his retirement. He wasn't obsessed with funerals back then.

Boo, I agree with your suspicions that your father is up to something very fishy, and it most likely is the possibility he's cheating on your mother.

I do agree with wefunction that analysing his body language if you choose to ask him questions would be a good step, too.

How good are you at analysing body language? Read up on the Internet for some good expert tips if you need them, especially for signs of lying and dishonesty.

I need to gather courage for this ...and info, I suck at reading body language.

I really need to be ready for this. I doubt it'll work though.

Btw.

What the (((((( )))))) means?

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 23 May 2011, 4:59 pm, edited 2 times in total.

It's hugs. You were cyber hugged.

^^ oh, what a relief, I thought Boo has Dumbo ears!

*references pictures* No. Your ears look fine.

I am pathetic at that, about one month and still couldn't find out anything. He is no more mentions to which funerals he's going and being more discrete.

I faced him about the Mercedes thing and my doubts, he dodged it saying that he can't recall anything of this, then he turned the whole conversation to joking and that I am being silly. He showed some signs of lying such as avoiding eye contacts (but hell he's naturally like this) and turning his head and body away and using excessive humor and sarcasm, but his smiles looked almost natural (all face muscles were 'smiling')...so I really can't tell.

And more part of mine is telling "let it go, don't get involved in this, it's not the right time" .... I dunno.

Ask him:
Are you cheating on my mom?

Watch his reaction.