Graelwyn wrote:
I feel so horribly guilty when I turn my back on someone, especially someone who already has such negative views of people, but my mind isn't equipped to deal with it, it really isn't.
I have started believing him, it is like a twisted game, even if not deliberate. I am sure there are things that led to him doing it, maybe he saw the letter as an attack and as a threat of abandonment and could not react any other way, plus he had had wine, but I honestly know now that it is futile, if someone who has spent 5 months with me could think i might take him to court if he doesnt bring my few books back (even after I emphasised he could throw them out and that I didnt care what happened to them). I feel sad.
I hope I will feel better, I had become used to this routine, to spending evenings with someone.
That, and at times I felt very close to him.
But I suppose lots of people go through these things.
It just doesn't sound like this guy is any good for you! You need to look at the situation from an utterly selfish point of view - you are the only constant in your universe, right? You are the only person whom you know and trust absolutely. So... is this man causing damage to you?
If he is, then you have to protect yourself. He is not your responsibility, and I can tell you from experience that no matter how much you might want people to change, they won't.
Re the wine, I think this is the most telling thing of all. Alcohol decreases our inhibitions, so he is far more likely to be himself and tell you
his idea of the truth when he's been drinking, than when he's sober. And because his comments were so blameful, aggressive and accusatory, what that indicates to me is someone who can only deal with the world by passing the buck. That's a
bad person to be around!
_________________
Your Aspie score: 146 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 68 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
28 Jul 2011, 4:30 pm
