Want to suicide, but afraid

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^

You are very confident.

I know how you feel lamppost. I'm scared of the afterlife too....I'm also worried I will just f**k up suicide and just seriously injure, rather than kill, myself. I don't want to live in any more pain than I already do.

I used to have a third reason for doing it-I didn't want to deprive my parents of their only child. However, I hate them...I don't care about them anymore.

Everyone should be right?

I think so. Confidence is a good and healthy thing. And then you ping pong with actual experience and keep trying---and that's the key---and some things will work out.

I disagree with the first part, agree with the second.

I have twice tried moving to an whole new state, and basically ended up lonelier than before. It was a clunk move. The big all-at-once that I expected to 'automatically' work.

I now believe in the medium move and feel-and-texture, and if it works, keep rolling with it.

So, moving a few towns away, that may work. A fresh venue, but then (for me) still have my monthly Green Party meetings, my once a month writers' which I sometimes go to, Mensa game parties which had wound down but were still okay (I got in with a good SAT, emphatically not an intelligence test), etc, etc, taking classes at my old college and paying in-state tuition, etc, etc. Anyway, sometimes it's nice just to see familiar faces, I almost think that's biological. Plus, the possibilty of a new neighborhood and new venues. So, yeah, the artful and agile medium move.