Clearly I'm not welcome on Earth.

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Did you have any meds before you lost insurance? Trying to live without a working medicine is like trying to not eat, it works for a while but catches up with a vengeance. I understand the situation with your mother and your car, do you see any workarounds to getting to a free clinic?

Most basically, what are you doing, or able to do, with your day to get physical distance from the blue meanies? For me if I have the gas money and something that runs it's no problem but lately I have to get creative and do something like paint the outside trim or do some gardening to get myself away from people with no lives. When you can cloak your 'isolating' with something contructive they tend to forget how rotten you are for 2 minutes.

The Catholic church I can go on and on about, but yeah the big thing is that many parts of those bibles never get read, nor encouraged to. No shame in not being some whiz bang theological scholar either. Christianity started to 'fit' me better when I found a pastor who taught 8th grade math and I reckon to have ADHD if not AS traits himself, AND was raised Catholic. Just for shiggles, go out and check out some churches. See if you connect better with the "T shirt and jeans" pastors. Something to help overwrite the 'bad' code, but "nothing changes if nothing changes"

Please answer the questions related to how you approach people and what groups/individuals and their personality types they tend to be. Maybe you are coming off as too blunt.

How opinionated are you? People hate opinions these days, which pisses me off.

I had meds but they never really helped much, all they really did was shut me up which made my mother happy. I have no options to get away from this place, and I don't have any money. My time in my car is limited to the occasional trip to procure foodstuffs. So essentially I'm stuck here, and trust me when I say this place is where creativity goes to die. You can't be creative when such hellishly judgmental people are always staring you down, rummaging through your things and even trying to crack your computer passwords.

As for the church thing, now is not a good time. My issues with spirituality are extremely complex as I would hope that my father's funeral would have demonstrated but they go far beyond that. When I'm essentially imprisoned, now is just seems to be the wrong time to go seeking church functions. I always felt somewhat cold and uncomfortable in church. Probably because Catholic churches are cold and uncomfortable by nature, but even in other churches I always felt out of place. I assumed that and my propensity for nocturnal activities and black clothing was just conformation of vampiric blood.

I'm joking about that last part, of course. But I have indeed felt out of place in church.



You're asking me questions that I don't have the answers to. I don't keep a running tabulation of every conversation in my life. The bad moments are what sticks out. But yeah, I do have an opinion and I'm not shy about stating it. Though it seems silly to me that the problem is that my opinions are too strong.

2wheels4ever - What people? Family? Who are they, those dynamics have been long defined and are not going to change overnight

With others, who is doing the approaching, you or them? Anything that can be perceived as heavy-handed? Even a handful of 3rd graders is bound to develop a rageful attitude after being around you?

That.

Strong opinions shouldn't offset people, but they often take them as personal attacks. I still give my opinions anyways, because the only ones offended are the weak minded.

I was banned.

Christ, I don't know. Asking me the same question twice isn't going to dig up new results. Clearly I'm an easy target for bullies for whatever reason and that I'm not capt happiness all the time makes people not like me but I don't know for sure. I went to therapy because I didn't understand and all I ever got was "uh huh, uh huh, uh huh".

You're asking me for specifics, but I can't provide you with them. I don't understand them, it almost seems like everything that happens appears different from my point of view.

I'll try this then. How do you tend to approach people for conversation and what topics do you start with/discuss?

I don't approach people, usually. I wait to be approached.

That is one of the lame things about interaction; people expect you to approach them. Do you ever approach anyone or are you always just waiting?

I approach people once I know them, which is usually when they stop approaching me. I'm a painfully shy person and I am terrible at interacting with people.

I can relate. Is there anything you think would help you meet people that wouldn't be judgmental towards you for your bluntness? I got lucky with a few people like that at school and used them to improve social skills with.

I think at this point, I'm not able to trust people. So whether they are trustworthy is somewhat moot.

I have bad trust issues too and still have strong friendships with around 5 people...

I am starting to think you are actively making excuses for yourself in order to avoid taking action for what you must do.

Thanks, I really needed more people telling me what a jerk I am.

Except in this case it is constructive...I just highly doubt you have no options right now and want to help you, but everything I say doesn't seem to help.

I don't see any options. If one presents itself my mother wedges her big fat ass in front of it, she always has. You doubt I have no options, but how do you know really?

I hate it when people accuse me of this.