16 Jan 2013, 8:56 pm
MjrMajorMajor wrote:
Not to be intrusive, just trying to understand... is talking with her a good thing or bad? I always assumed obsession was really just a search for connection, but maybe not? That's the line I'm always trying to find, how to connect on a genuine level without violating anyone's personal boundaries or anything. I don't have a lot of experience with this, so I have been just going with my gut and hoping I don't crash and burn from flying blind. From what I read from your post, it's more a matter of a fear of letting anyone in do to past experiences and at the same time wanting to for you? I think I can relate somewhat. It's hard to walk that line, of not letting fear rule your actions, but remembering it's not just about yourself but a two way street. Exhausting just to think about, isn't it. 
I think what drove me was just the feeling of possibly being understood. It always comes down to the simplest explanation when you get down to it.
I think what drove me was just the feeling of possibly being understood. It always comes down to the simplest explanation when you get down to it.
Talking with her is probably a bad thing right now. Even if I want to tell her how sorry I feel and how upset I am with myself. I should just leave her alone and work on improving myself. I am that upset with myself, and I have those kinds of problems. I am going to try not even thinking about her to the extent I can for a while. We are probably going to talk sometimes, just sometime, as in I have no idea when. Not even going to consider what is going to happen. I actually don't seem to be doing a bad job talking to people and working on friendships so far this semester. Though I don't feel like dating anyone right now, not sure if that will change.
17 Jan 2013, 12:25 am
Taking care of yourself should always be your first priority. Don' t worry about her, just focus on what you need. Dwelling on things like that only leads to a downward spiral. If you take some time out, and feel up to reconnecting with her down the road then you can see what happens. I' 've found with some people it doesn't matter how long you haven' t seen them-- you can just pick up from from the last. Don't get too angry at yourself, just objectively take a step back and get back on course. If you ever feel a need for someone to talk to, I' m usually here.
18 Jan 2013, 11:42 am
MjrMajorMajor wrote:
Taking care of yourself should always be your first priority. Don' t worry about her, just focus on what you need. Dwelling on things like that only leads to a downward spiral. If you take some time out, and feel up to reconnecting with her down the road then you can see what happens. I' 've found with some people it doesn't matter how long you haven' t seen them-- you can just pick up from from the last. Don't get too angry at yourself, just objectively take a step back and get back on course. If you ever feel a need for someone to talk to, I' m usually here.
Baring a very direct rejection a downward spiral do to negative emotions is very unlikely. More likely I'll keep obsessing and get all anxious about her, as in worrying about what will happen in the future. Either way I need to worry about myself and keep her out of my mind as much as possible for the time being.
Though rejection and despair can hit me pretty hard. I can not confirm this. But my ability to recognize or look at SWMNBN appears to have taken a hit at a point. Somewhat like that portion of my mind got disconnected. Its a really weird feeling. That was after a direct rejection (second time, via email instead of facebook, about six months later), and I still dug myself out of that one, kinda felt half brain dead for a while after that though. However, I was entering that in a much worse condition.
Then sometime over two years later I started emailing her again almost like I never stopped. Weirdly she unblocked me from Facebook after one particular thing I said. I made a comment that she should have me blocked, so I'm blocked again. Never have heard from her after I started emailing her again. Just still have a bunch of strange suspicions I have to live with.
Different conditions now though. Still, dwelling on rejection or self-revulsion is not worth the damage it will cause. Its important that I work on improving myself and making friends otherwise I can relapse pretty badly.
I am just rambling now though. I think I will PM you if I need any more help.
18 Jan 2013, 1:27 pm
18 Jan 2013, 5:36 pm
02 Aug 2013, 10:39 am
Kezzstar wrote:
I'm obssessed with a footy player. I think about him all the time, especially when I go to the footy or to training and he stares at me. He's really nice to me too which makes it hard as I know I have no chance but he always comes over to say hi and when I go to functions he comes to see me (I'm one of his sponsors). I'm trying to replace it with an obssession with Captain Picard from Star Trek but it's not working.
Captain Picard on Star Trek is very handsome!
