I hate myself

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Knock it off. You DO have the power to change things - all you have to do is move your rear into that shower and apply soap & water. Then put on clean clothes and do something outside the house. Anything would be a big improvement over doing nothing but sitting in your own grime and moping about it.
Thousands of others (including myself) have been in your position - AND ROSE ABOVE IT. You can, as other have. You just have to start the ball rolling by doing SOMETHING!

Dude - this is your ego mourning itself

Make some changes. Do things differently

Rule 1 - Shower daily.
Rule 2- Buy new clothes
Rule 3 - Get a hair style
Rule 4 - Use a porn blocker

That is it for now. Only if you do this will I help you.

You have to get out of the self-mourning cycle by doing things!

I'm just tired of living. I wish whatever health problems I have take my life in the near future, since I probably don't have the courage to do it myself.

I'm depressed, miserable, lonely, frustrated, suicidal off and on, and have been for years. Doctors can't do anything for me (even if I were able to afford real help)

It's like I'm trapped in a tiny room filled with despair that I need release from.

You are experiencing "anticipated regret".

You are not "half ret*d" by the sounds of it to me.
Emotional disturbances can be overcome
Developmental delays - so what? People mature at different rates.
Ugly - you can do things for your look
Slow - may be low confidence from the previous beliefs.

People will not respect you and threat you normally until you do likewise for yourself.

BTW so what if I want pity. Does that make me pathetic, weak, and a loser? Sorry I'm not as mentally tough as you.

Can you do anything to fix up the bathroom?

It does not have to be "rank" surely.

Showering in the past--isn't improving your hygiene. Showering daily.. is improving your hygiene. That stuff builds up, who confirmed you had a glandular problem? Did they mention "Oh yeah you'll stink the rest of your life". Even if you "stink" there are ten million different ways to block the odor.

Odor Blocker or Body wash, along with a 20 hr mouth wash rinse can counteract BO and bad breath. "Glandular" problems can be reduced by eating healthier and losing weight. You can also wear natural fibers such as cotton, silk, and linen, especially in undergarments. Fabrics that repel moisture reduce body odor.

No.. even furthermore there are prescription strength soaps and deodorant.

There are people who have been in your same posiiton you feel you're in and have much better attitudes--and better results.

You'd always have regret--you're not fully realizing your potential.

BTW it's near impossible to get the smell of your house out of your clothes. If my house smells like a toilet, what do you think I'll smell like?

can't delete post... too bad. I regret replying.