I may be ready to give up.

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Please don't harm yourself, you're very interesting and nice to talk to. You are so unique and different. You may be an outcast in your local area, but you have good and decent friends on here. I agree with Veresae, things can and will improve. I just stumbled upon this thread, and dreaded what was inside. I think that you need a little bit of time to recover, perhaps a few days away from school if possible. You must talk about it. Stay strong. This world has not gone totally insane. Yet. Most of all, you are a good friend. Damn it if anything happens to you.