Struggling to accept I will always be alone.

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I am "a red car" too and I am totally happy with it. There is nothing wrong with being different. You stand out. Do you honestly think everyone is looking for blue clones? You are different so there must be a girl who likes different people. You just need to find her or wait till she finds you. There were a few guys interested in me so far and the reason always was because I am different than any girl they ever met. And the guy I am somehow dating right now... I got interested in him because he was different too. We met on a dating website. He found me. And we were sending e-mails to each other for a year before we decided to met.

So don't give up. You will find someone for your liking sooner or later. Just be patient. And honest.

You say you got a profile on a dating website. Mind if I see it? I could tell you if it is interesting and what you could change. Good, honest profile is the key.

- Low wage is not a problem. At least you are working. If the girl is working for minimal wage too you might manage to rent an apartment together. That's enough for a start. My current date is not working at all, neither am I. So far everyone pays for self but if I get into him some more (we are currently at friends stage) I will be willing to pay. I am one of those people who like spending money for people I care for despite the fact I am a girl. I wouldn't be able to spend much currently since I am unemployed but some small amounts off my savings are OK (I am a saving person, I worked only half of year in my whole life and I got more money saved than my all life working parents do). And if I worked I would be willing to spend more. When I was crazy in love with a girl and working I considered funding her a trip to Japan - her country of interest - if we end up together. But she didn't feel this way about me so it didn't work out. As you can see not all girls are money crazy. And some really are willing to pay.

- What are you interested in? You say your special interest are social heavy but perhaps there is a way to make use of them. For example me and my date don't talk much about our interests (except IT, we are both into it) but we are planning to watch Perseid meteors together soon (my special interest used to be astronomy for a long time and I still like it even though it is not so special anymore) and he is going to teach me how to fly model airplanes (his interest). It sounds like fun.

When you say "2nd game", do you mean a second round of golf? If so, then honestly, I don't think a second round is necessary.

$30 for a pizza? That's a lot of money. Must be delicious. You're right; $50 is a lot...and I guess if you don't feel comfortable paying for everything, then let her know.

suicide and I might have ms. my brother got it so the likely hood for me to have it is increased, though they don't know what causes ms.

Beau

there's a few companies that charge that. Only one would I say is worth it. another is for the bbq chicken pizza no one else offeres. the others are super cheap $5 or the regular 10-15


not sure how to bring it up without being rude. I don't know if this is a date or just meeting as friends.


Kiriae,

i'll try to reply more in detail later. but for now heres my proflies

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=3182455
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/sly2792004?

Hmm this is a bit tough. If you're able to figure out that it's a hangout, then splitting is ok. If it's a date, then you could kindly tell her something along the lines of this: "Money's a bit tight right now; would it be cool if we split the check?" If she says no, then make sure you bring enough money to pay for the food. Hopefully, she's understanding, and she'll say yes.

I would actually love to help people on the spectrum, although I do find social interactions hard. A social worker in the Netherlands has a far worse chance of finding a stable job than a certified psychotherapist. I can indeed become a psychotherapist but I will need A LOT of post-graduate certifications which usually take years or even decades to achieve. And I don't need a masters in social work for that. In the Netherlands, to become a psychotherapist (one that is allowed to operate autonomosly; independently give diagnoses and set up an own practice) you need to study clinical psychology master, do a clinical internship (which I haven't done) and then gain as much working experience as possible in the field to be addmitted to the HealthCare Postmaster Psychotherapist Track. And then, after all THAT, you can start working as an official Psychotherapist (a protected title in the Netherlands). No need to get a PhD or anything.

What discourages me to make a decision is the fear that my aspergers will prevent me from being a good therapists but what also discourages me is the amount of money and time that I will have to spend on trajectories in order to actually become a psychotherapist.

I have aspergers as well and I think people like us can help NT people out quite well. We watch things differently and see more detail. It can be a strength. Most therapists or other people that help out are mostly "different" people who have a lot of problems themselfs. I have in the past helped a lot of people deal with stuff they were stuggling with. I see things and signs they just don't see or don't think about.

So how did it go, Sly?

Your profiles seem fine. You look like an average boy wanting a steady relationship. It's not a bad thing. but you might not be too popular with girls around your age or younger. You need some luck now (you are 26 so mostly girls 20-25 look at your profile currently) but your profile will get more popular when you become closer to 30 year old (so 25-30 year old girls will look at your profile more). 20-25 year old girls usually look for fun relationship, 25-30 look for steady relationship.

However you should really put some more photos. You go shooting with friends? Ask one of your friends to take a photo of you when you shot. Same with camping. Tell them to make it a surprise photo while you have fun and don't know they are taking it - from my experience photos like this are often the best. It is the best chance to capture a honest smile. You make a forced smile on all the photos in your profiles.

Also - I'm sorry to say it but you are not the kind of boy who should rely on "love of first sight", "pheromones" etc. so rushing for a date to "test if it you got connection" is not a good idea. Your strategy to get a girl should be connecting with her intellectually. Exchange more than a few messages before you decide to met with the girl. Get to know her. If you feel you like talking to her - good, you can go on the date. But if you feel the conversation gets boring after a few messages - give up, it is not worth it.

Btw. I got prosopagnosia so I can't say for sure but your face looks similar to the guy I am dating now. And he is also a little overweight.

Sly looks like a normal guy.

Agreed.

I'll have to assume not good. though I enjoyed myself. I felt she had fun. but she called it a night before dinner(which she previously suggested) so I'd assume she didn't like me in person. she said we should get together again and i could feel free to message here that night. I got busy with family stuff and then went to the fair next day, so didn't message til this morning but she hasn't replied. I would guess she isn't interested and the things she said were to be polite. she also hugged me before we parted o.O

whatever though. she didn't seem to like some things about me.

I want a fun relationship. just a steady fun relationship. my major downfalls are the lack of a good job/place and my face. why would 30 year olds be more likely to want me? they tend to be more professional and wanting a equal(proferssional job, independent) guy to start a family with. seems to me my odds will only get worse as I get older and don't fall into that category.

I haven't been out with friends in quite a while. either I have no money or they are too busy/have no money. Been 2-3 years now since I've been camping. suppose its one of the reason's I am seeking a gf, to do stuff with. I have few pictures from 4 years ago doing stuff but that's it. also surprise pictures I tend to look uglier . Like I have pictures from my last camping trip I wouldn't show to anyone. though I hate pictures of me in the first case, even professional ones.

I actually do that, which may be some of the problem. I having never had a relationship. the closest I have had was just messaging for over a year. I don't kow when to take it from messages to date, prefereing to message for long time. this recent one was the first time I've moved it to meeting. I felt it was best to go faster or have them feel I am wasting their time. I think we messaged for 2 weeks. the other problem I have is i don't want to hurt or be rude to people. so I don't know how to stop messages when I don't think it will work out.

whats prosopagnosia ?

and hopefully not bad sounding by why would you date an overweight guy?

Prosopagnosia is the inability to "read faces." Faces are generic items to persons who have severe prosopagnosia. They might be not able to recognize even Abraham Lincoln (in extreme cases).

In actuality, many people have a varying inability to remember faces. I'm one of them. I tend to remember people in context (e.g., in uniform)--but, outside the immediate context, I might forget who they are. I'll know their face combined with the uniform--but without the uniform, I might not recognize the face.

I'm glad that you had fun

It's possible that something came up during your date, and that's why she had to cancel dinner. Don't assume it's because she didn't like you; there may be other reasons. Anyways, give her a few days to respond...and if she doesn't, then that's okay. Just take this as a learning experience, and move on.

What's wrong with your face, Sly?

And you don't seem particularly overweight.