I need a holiday

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Show her where it is, then. How far is it? If it's a few miles away then it shouldn't really be an issue. You need to learn to stand up for yourself a bit, I think.

She knows where it is, but she won't take me. And I'm at nanna's house right now.

A lot of books can be found (not sure of the legality for some of them) online. While it would lack the whole feel of opening a book and reading it the "normal" way, you could try to find one you're interested in and printing it. I've tried reading books on the computer screen, but it never seems to feel "right" for some reason.

I don't understand quite why she won't take you. I don't think there's really anything more to add to the discussion as it's going round in circles. Also, it's 4am here - I have a flight to catch so I'd better get some shuteye.

I am reading a book at the moment called Outcast. It's so weird. o.O

Oh god, I feel so lonely...

I hate not being to go out and make friends, it isn't fair!!

Gah, I should just stop thinking about it...

Yeah. It isn't fair, but if there's really nothing you can do about it, you just have to learn to accept it, I guess. It infuriates me though.

I just hate not being to have fun like normal people my age.

Vacation? Vacation? What IS a vacation? A removal. A whole new dimension of being. You don't need to walk to vacation, though. There are other things you can do right around home. Even something as simple as crochet, or walking around the house and studying the land in detail-- they can take your mind away. Hell, got stones around? Try building a stone weapon, seeing which nearby rocks are the strongest. I've done it before-- and after you miss and grind your hand by accident a few times, it becomes fun. Maybe spend a day looking up random things to learn?

That's a great idea, HDS!

I need a vacation even more now.

i know this probably isn't a good idea but if you really need books to read like i really on, why don't you try getting yourself into your mums good books by offering to do chores eg.wash dishes,hover,general tidy then hint that you'd still like to go to the library rather than cash!!