14 Dec 2016, 6:09 pm
...OOM withdrew the offer , anyway - And what you put up here doesn't contradict that .
Wouldn't going 1.500 miles (or so) to somewhere I've never been be considered " foolish/overly dramatic " ?
Wouldn't accepting such an offer , if it existed again , " just for a month or two " be seen as insufficiently appreciative on my part ?
One reason I've been somewhat trying to cool you down on the All-In-One CCSF preperations is that it seemed to me that , if I did that , it would be letting you down if I didn't go , I'd be , rather , promising that I would for sure go .
As I've written elsewhere , I could not get to a computer yesterday (Tuesday) .
Isn't going 1,500 miles rather counter to the CCSF , which you were so encouraging on just recently ?
To-day , iIRC , was the day of the All-In-One which you said Rick would take me to - Well , I never heard from him , for whatever reason , and my attempt to rebuild my clothing/etcetera situation has , as I've already written to-day , gone rather more slowly than expected . Are you mad at me for somewhat drawing back from your gung-honess on the All-In-One ?
To be blunt 
~ I AM unsure that , as I have summarized just above , my physical help , residential /background situation , and the question of my tech inability problem (I don't suppose I've spoken much about my tech problem recently on this board and you may not have seen it .) would make the cCSF do-able ! 
I have had to think about this all by myself...Brooding to myself much of the night a lot , in the shelter , unable to get to sleep , with nothing to distract me ...........
Here is the post that she made:
Makes you wonder doesn't it.
The housing that she is suggesting appears to be about 40 miles from the nearest city. I'm not sure if there are any colleges there. But I suggest you re-consider her offer, if it's still available. It's a place to rest and sort your life out in some ways, free from pick-pocketers, begging and all that other stuff. Maybe after a month or two if you feel more comfortable, you can start again somewhere.
_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!
14 Dec 2016, 6:49 pm
Wouldn't going 1.500 miles (or so) to somewhere I've never been be considered " foolish/overly dramatic " ?
Wouldn't accepting such an offer , if it existed again , " just for a month or two " be seen as insufficiently appreciative on my part ?
One reason I've been somewhat trying to cool you down on the All-In-One CCSF preperations is that it seemed to me that , if I did that , it would be letting you down if I didn't go , I'd be , rather , promising that I would for sure go .
As I've written elsewhere , I could not get to a computer yesterday (Tuesday) .
Isn't going 1,500 miles rather counter to the CCSF , which you were so encouraging on just recently ?
To-day , iIRC , was the day of the All-In-One which you said Rick would take me to - Well , I never heard from him , for whatever reason , and my attempt to rebuild my clothing/etcetera situation has , as I've already written to-day , gone rather more slowly than expected . Are you mad at me for somewhat drawing back from your gung-honess on the All-In-One ?
To be blunt
~ I AM unsure that , as I have summarized just above , my physical help , residential /background situation , and the question of my tech inability problem (I don't suppose I've spoken much about my tech problem recently on this board and you may not have seen it .) would make the cCSF do-able ! I have had to think about this all by myself...Brooding to myself much of the night a lot
, in the shelter , unable to get to sleep , with nothing to distract me ...........Yeah, maybe college isn't the best thing right now. I'm not mad. You have to do the best thing for you at the present time and the main thing is rebuilding your clothing and settling back into your routine.
Don't lose sleep over it. If college isn't doable because of various reasons, then you have to focus on things that are doable.
14 Dec 2016, 7:00 pm
14 Dec 2016, 7:19 pm
...I don't think I've " turned down " much , and YOU'RE the one who decided to comment about me --- so STFU about saying I'm " shaming " you ! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!
What " oppurtunities " ? When have I had understanding like AS kids have now ?
" The human condition " is for " smart " people who deserve to go to college , I guess --- Why should stupid me worry his simple lil' head about it ?
I have NOTHING ~ I had a woinderful life of being raped as a SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN and NEVER BEING ALLOWED to talk about it !
Then there was the spending my 21st birthday in a state loony bin , my drunk mother having put me there , full or Thorazine/Mellaril/poison , doctor saying " He's not good for anything else but being on the back wards for the rest of his life "
Just leave despicable ol' me alone ~ OK ?
I will make no mention of , or reaching out to (which I never did anyway) you , if you say NOTHING , EVER AGAIN to or about me .
Including saying " OK " or " All right " to this .
Just leave me the f**k alone !
And I will too . f**k you .
I don't know what Bea Arthur was like as a person - I only watched her in Maude and in the movie (and audio cast album) of " MAME " .
Maybe she was nice , maybe she was nasty .
Some sleepless nights thinking about your fate and the human condition might be just what you need. When you finally accept that nobody owes you anything and that you have squandered opportunities, maybe you can turn your focus inward, pay attention to your health problems, pay attention to your belongings, and show some appreciation for other people in your sphere. Figure out for yourself what the meaning of life is, or what you should spend your remaining days on. Nobody answers these questions for the rest of us, either. Why should you be any different?
_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!
14 Dec 2016, 7:46 pm
14 Dec 2016, 7:51 pm
...Oh , I've been so CRUEL/MEAN to her/him ! 
Some sleepless nights thinking about your fate and the human condition might be just what you need. When you finally accept that nobody owes you anything and that you have squandered opportunities, maybe you can turn your focus inward, pay attention to your health problems, pay attention to your belongings, and show some appreciation for other people in your sphere. Figure out for yourself what the meaning of life is, or what you should spend your remaining days on. Nobody answers these questions for the rest of us, either. Why should you be any different?
BeaArthur,
I agree with you.
And you deserve far better treatment than what you're getting in this thread.
~~ the phoenix
_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!
14 Dec 2016, 8:19 pm
14 Dec 2016, 8:56 pm
...Even FINDING the essentials is ULTRA-DIFFICULT ! 
And so much gets stolen - And I hadn't bought comics in weeks , nor do I have , basically , ANY of the things which you folks find routine ...and , I have a lifetime collection of NOTHING .....................
ASS-P is just trying to survive but at the same time enjoy what he can. If that means spending a little too much on comics or whatever, well that's alright, it's his money to do with what he pleases. He does know that he needs to buy the essentials and does buy them. They just get worn out pretty quickly sometimes, so they need replenishing again.
Main thing we can do is be encouraging. He's fortunate to have a roof over his head for now and his funding come back.
_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!
14 Dec 2016, 9:01 pm
...Let's remember how crippled I am , too ...................................................
_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!
14 Dec 2016, 10:26 pm
15 Dec 2016, 1:19 am
You really have. It's terrible how you've treated people who are only trying to give you the unvarnished truth. Most of us don't have a romantic idea of homelessness and all the suggestions you've had so far are focused on getting you indoors with a place to sleep.
What happened to the board and care that one of the social workers talked to you about? That's really what you need. Did you get put on the waiting list or did you just say no?
I think sometimes that you want help packaged as you wish and if it doesn't come exactly the way you want, you refuse it and take another spiral downward. An example is the "ride" you wanted to the college. Tobes gave you specific instructions and pictures (! !!) of how you could get there without depending on another person and you came up with every reason why this wouldn't work for you.
If you cannot take public transport by yourself with the excellent directions and illustrations Tobes gave you, then no, you can't handle college work at all.
15 Dec 2016, 11:53 am
15 Dec 2016, 3:07 pm
...................................................You are "crippled" because you never (and still don't) keep your blood sugar in normal ranges. We can't do that, only you can. That's why a board and care would be better for you, a steady place to live and regular meals, with your access to junk food limited.
15 Dec 2016, 9:28 pm
16 Dec 2016, 8:07 am
16 Dec 2016, 9:33 am
