Church

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My family attended a Church of Christ for many years. I was made to go and looking back, I always felt detached from my surroundings there. Some say you feel "Christ's love" in a church but I mainly saw it as a place where I had to follow the rules or else my parents would get onto me until it was time to go though I often just sauntered around the place while my mind wandered.

I also don't have any memories of when I first became a Christian and I never heard a voice from any God but I was definitely taught the stories of the Old Testament and Jesus. I couldn't help but believe them because I was constantly told them and I had no choice to believe in anything else nor did I object. I was even baptized in the church.

I sometimes got along with other kids there but other times I would get hazed by them or my irritable amygdala would get the better of me so I never made any lasting friends. After my parents divorced, my father still went to that church and would make us (Myself and my siblings) go with him if we stayed over at his house on the weekends while my mother tried different churches and took me along to them.
I didn't stay at any of them for very long for various reasons.

The last time I went to a "regular" church was when my older brother was engaged to a woman whose family were long time members of that church and I even gave a summer bible study a try. The church services just made me realize that I didn't fit in because people already had their social cliques formed and I couldn't join in. The bible study was a tedious slog. Outside of the bible discussions, the guys in the group just wanted to talk about sports and the TV show called Lost while the girls just talked about Macy's as well as other "feminine" things. Aside from a stint with an Unitarian fellowship, I haven't attended a church regularly since 2010.

Look world can you please just go to church for worship and not hooking up with women. It's kind of obvious that there is a pastor there trying to teach us about life. It's not a place for you to cheat on your spouse and it is not a place for "church drama".

If you want to hook up with women and have drama then do that at the bar, but not the church please.

Um wtf. I don’t even have a spouse o.O

Last edited by sly279 on 21 May 2019, 3:12 am, edited 1 time in total.

I was brought to church every Sunday, told that if someone willingly does not go to church on Sunday and then die, they will go straight to hell.
I didn't want to go to hell so I went. A church is a hard sensory expirience for me but I coped by meditating on the Bible passages read - it gave me a way to zone out while doing something completely right to do there.
My meditations, especially on Luke 7,36-50 in a very specific point of my life, lead me to very strong conviction that the ugliest truth is infinitely better than the most beautiful lie and that love is impossible without truth.
This idea grew in me for years, influencing my marriage and relationship with children but also, paradoxically, leading to loosening my tie with the church. I started to comb my soul for truth and found out there are tons of things I don't believe. I definitely don't believe one goes straight to hell for missing a mass. I'm not even convinced the God exists in the sense others seem to believe so saying Credo every Sunday was a torment - I was lying!
I gave up religion to see what happens. It was a relief. I still believe in moral/ethical values from the Evangelies and I'm sure the Bible is full of wisdom - but now I feel free to suspect it's also full of political propaganda. It was written by humans, after all. The Catholic church officially states that the Bible was written by humans who expirienced contact with the God but who were also within their cultural and political contexts.

I suspect my journey has not ended yet. Getting distance to religion enables me to see double binds and other kinds of emotional abuse I experienced but a lot is still happening. Right now, sensory issues and triggers I experience in a church are so strong that according to my best theological knowledge, I could be dispensed from missing Sunday masses anyway.

If the bible was written by humans then it would glorify humans, but the bible does the opposite. Both the Old Testament and New Testament illustrate how humanity back-stabbed and betrayed God and thought that they were free from consequences for doing so.

But I'm sorry you fell away from the church, consider this, if you have children, if this life is all that there is then you must in the end lose your children, this is was Isaiah 54 means when it says “Shout for joy, O barren woman, who bears no children; break forth into song and cry aloud, you who have never travailed; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband,” says the LORD."

Which is basically prophesying the difference between Sarah and Hagar, Sarah is Abraham's wife and her child was begat through faith (for Sarah was too old to conceive), whereas Hagar was Abraham's concubine and her child was begotten from the flesh:



The Fleshy concubine, in the end, losses all her children, for if the flesh is all that there is then that must necessitate that you must lose your children in the end. It is not liberating to understand that no matter what you do, you can't escape the ways of this world under your own power, therefore it benefits you little to move away from God. None of us will be preserving our children unto eternity through our own power, but if you want to place confidence in your flesh, then you will lose your children, for what comes of the body will die by the body, and just like your child came from your body, you will lose them by your body.

Don't place your confidence there, in the end it will fail you and you will lose your loved ones as a result.

Christ offered his body to you so that you might preserve your children unto eternity through him. This is was Sarah represents, for she is the wife of what comes by the spirit of Christ, and she was barren all her life, but through faith she preserved her children.

Anyways, I don't mean to cause you anxiety but here is a stark warning, if you care about your children you would start looking to preserve them beyond this fleshly life, because in the end we are going to lose it, thus as Christ said "He who saves his life shall lose it, but he who losses his life for my sake shall save it" Matthew 16:25

I think we are not on the same page so let's leave it here.

Good for you for finding and living your truth!

Going to church was miserable for me, too, due to sensory issues and social expectations. Religion shouldn’t make people feel bad.

I feel like a more spiritual person now that I don’t have that stress to deal with and since I stopped believing in the Bible.

Church is a place to communally worship God. It's not necessary to go to church in order to "prove" your belief in and your desire to worship God.

In the Bible Belt, church is for Jesus fanclub members who want to "absolve" themselves so they can continue repeating their transgressions.

I am glad you put that as some have said that if you don't attend church you are not a Christian. Well, people who think that have become religious. Being a Christian is about being not doing. While doing is good, being is the bit that makes the difference.

Yes I know what you mean. It feels like it’s the worst to have to come in and search for a seat. I afraid I’m going to get the reputation of the person who is always late. Personally I feel like it’s too much stress just to go to church.

It is, especially if you aren't a morning person and aren't part of a clique.

Morning person? Do churches start their what's-the-word early in the morning where you're from? Here it's usually at 10 am at earliest unless there's some exception.

10 am is still morning and I've suffered from obstructive sleep apnea most of my life so I've always felt under rested even after sleeping at night.

My mother wants me to attend church again but I reject her suggestion whenever she brings it up.

I don’t normally get up until 11 am for church I have to get up at 8:30 and leave by 9:45 I’m exhausted

See if your church has night services. They're usually more relaxed with fewer young families.