What should you do when...

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I just hope she'll see past the distance.

I hope it works out well! I'm glad she started contacting you regularly again. My best friend (female) is autistic, too, and she sometimes lapses long periods of time without communication, but it's not personal at all.

I was in a situation similar to yours recently and I am having a terrible time getting over it, so I know how you feel, I think.

I want a relationship with her, but I am worried that any distance that could occur would make a relationship impossible.

I want her to be able to start a relationship, despite the distance.

I talked to her today, and she is hearing from some jobs in other parts of Texas, but not hearing from any in the DFW area.

If I stay at MSU, a relationship with her would not be possible if she accepts a job offer outside of the DFW area.

I was so upset that I hung up on my own mother (and I am very close to my family).

Tim_tex...

I'll tell you my view...and again, I'm no expert, but just a different perspective...

A long time ago someone came into my life and when he was in the DFW area, and told me he'd stay there for me, I said no...not because I didn't want the relationship, but because I needed "time alone"...I enjoyed being alone and the thought of having to see someone seriously everyday or have him call me all the time was too much for me to handle. I wanted to concentrate on my career as well. He moved away...and honestly, with his move, although I also don't really believe that long distance relationship work for me, I thought we could continue to talk and be friends...and just wait it out...Instead, just because I couldn't have a relationship then...as HFA/AS I need to kind of get my head together, even for relationships and plan it out...he left and decided that I just didn't want to be with him at all. He couldn't have been further from the truth. Years went by and I regretted it very much, and well, so did he...but unfortunately, sometimes when we say we want a relationship and then back out, is NOT because we don't want a relationship, but because we do like the person, we want a relationship but both being in the same place tends to send relationships into fast forward mode...and at least for me, that doesn't work...

So, my 2 cents? I would tell her that you like her, that you hope you can keep in touch...call her every couple of weeks...if she's in town, ask her to see you and just continue to talk about all the things you have in common...you'll know when she's ready...but don't give up so quickly if you indeed know that you have many things in common...give it some time...

At the end, the reason I am with my now husband is because no matter that he wanted to marry me immediately, he told me many times, "don't worry...I'm not going anywhere...I'll be right here...and if you ever want to marry me, then we will..." It gave me peace and I didn't feel preassured...

Good luck...

That's what I would have done.

But what do I do if she says that it won't work because of the distance?

Should I just give up on this matter?

It turns out that due to a possible job offer, she may not even be in a position to be in a relationship with anyone for about two years...and I simply can't wait that long for a relationship.

So, I'll just move on to someone else.

She said not to wait for her. I feel a sense of devastation because of this, and I want to take my own life.

Slow down Tim

You have made the distance issue the defining issue.

After reading this whole thread (haven't seen it for a bit), what came immediately to my mind was the relationships that do work over distance.

Military families are one example. Sometimes the service member is stationed overseas in a location that dependents are not allowed. Sometimes because the length of the mission, or assignment is relatively short... say under 2 yrs... the family decides that the dependents (wife and children) should stay home close to other family until the servicemember comes home.

There are civilian jobs like this also.

Basically, I think you should look at the distance issue a bit more realistically.
I was feeling like you two should give it a try rather than say upfront it won't work, without any experience to shore that up.

If she is permanently unavailable, how do I find other single, female Aspies who like South Park. She was the only one that was single.

I can't even concentrate on my studies because of her.