a 24 yr. old good for nothing

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Shiggily,
i'm starting to suspect i'm a favorite target of yours, right? i can appreciate some of the advice of the kindness of some people here. but why would i take advice from people whose got beef with me being Catholic and my obsession with Take That? am i suppose to apologize for those 2 things?! also, some people here (including you) have accused me of being unwilling to find a job. the jobs you mention don't pay enough to sustain a decent living. but you wouldn't know that, would you? i didn't come here to be dissed for all that s#!t, i thought i came here to seek help from other Aspies like myself who share similar issues.

so, if you or other people don't have anything nice to say then don't say it! or better yet, don't f**king talk to me!

Hi ttqs84, I have tried to help you on this forum. I hope you read it. And I can say that Shiggily has tried to help too. Shiggily has responded to my posts before, and I can say I value her advice. She seems to be very level headed. Please try to understand that for the most part people want to help you. But I feel that a lot are now thinking that you don't want help. But we on the autistic spectrum feel like we are all family so we keep trying. Can you please try with us if we try to help you---even if the advice might seem rough to you? I am undergoing counseling for my issues, and I am making myself stay open minded to the advice I am being given. You must try. Thank you.

I have a bad memory so I can't sustain a grudge and I rarely have problems with people since I usually forget what they say a few days later, particularly if it is online.

You keep assuming that I haven't had those jobs so I wouldn't know even though I keep explaining that I have so I would. I have no problem with you being Catholic I have no problem with you liking a band.

I do have a problem with you attacking people who give you valid advice because they do not say exactly what you want to hear. Because I have had similar issues I CAN help you, but you don't want help. You want people to feel sorry for you and maybe send you their food money so you can go to Europe and see your favorite band.

Next time in your OP just state that you only want people to say nice things to you so people like me, who are logical and rational and have issues with understanding the underlying meaning of "I ask directly asking for advice, but indirectly I want you to make me feel good"... people like me can just move on.

sometimes it is my fault. I take things directly and I do not understand implied meaning. (so I am a little too male-brained). So when I see someone make a direct statement I assume the direct meaning or dictionary definition. I am in therapy for handling that since I tend to offend a disproportionate amount of females and emotional males. I can usually adjust around NTs (or avoid them) but maybe I assumed Aspies were more different from NTs then they actually are.

look, i'm not trying to attack people here. glider18, TheMidnightJudge, just-me, legendoftheselkie, Ana54, hale_bopp, and Tim_UK - i know you all mean well. your responses seem friendly, harmless, and nice. really, it was all very nice of you. i appreciate it

when i wrote this topic, i didn't think anyone would read it or respond to it. i'm new to this forum and i thought that this 'Haven' was "For those times when you're feeling blue and need to get a little help from your friends". but then i found out since i'm new, i don't have friends here. so, that part i missed. i realized that even people here will talk s#!t about me without getting to know me first, which just so happens to be the story of my life.

so, let me just say to everyone here that i'm sorry for wasting my time pouring out my problems, my opinions or whatever. i found out it's not worth it for me to talk about anything anymore.

i'd like to ask the moderators to close down this topic because there's no point wasting my time with this BS.

Shiggily , this is the haven so try and be nice.

mabie ttqs84 isent ready to accept the advice given, I know ive gotten advice here that was good but didnt take it because i wasent ready.

She has heard it and understood it so its there when she is ready to use it. becides we dont know what else is goin on in her life. its hard to summarize everything in a post.






ttqs84 I count myself as your friend. You can and should post here as often as you want. Don't let one bad expereance ruin it all for you. If you ever have trobble just pm a mod.

I hope you stay on wp because its a very nice place and your a nice person. ps I hope you feel better soon. And good luck seeing the band you want to see ,I hope you get to soon.

pm me if you ever need to talk.

I don't have any problem with you being Catholic. But the whole band thing just seems inconsequential in the larger scheme of things. I think you should at least attempt to go back to school for awhile or maybe find some job you can do. I don't know what the job market is in Columbia so bear with me. Going to europe to see a band is a little out of the question if you can't even find a job. Look, despite what you hear from people on this site with the whole ''my obsession's everything to me! Blah! Blah! Blah!'' In the real world, you have to sort of put that stuff on hold.
And I'm being nice too. I feel for you on a lot of your issues but if you want more people to sympathize, leave your band obsession out of the reasons your life sucks. ALL THE OTHERS ARE VALID EXCEPT THAT.

It is just very frustrating when you go to the trouble of trying to be nice and help someone and they blow up at you because even though they asked for help, they didn't really want help and they wanted you to read their mind and just know that.

Why that does matter to you? Anyways, it's explained in the same PM.

I know, but sometimes its just becuase they want to vent. They don't need advice but they don't know how to say that. I do not know if that is the case here but I'm just guessing.

btw I'm not trying to pick on you or anything I'm just trying help. I want to make shure you know that.

Anyways I'm gona but out cause I'm not a mod.

you're being nice?! oh yeah, and i'm Britney Spears. STOP BEING A HYPOCRITE, DAMMIT! I WILL BE A TAKE THAT FAN FOR AS LONG AS THEY'RE AROUND! DEAL WITH IT OR SHUT THE F**K UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!! ! HOW DARE YOU?!

I reply to this with one simple question:

Do you think you are alone?

if your answer is yes, you are wrong.

if your answer is no, then buck up and look for the light.

In my personal experience, only two less years than your own I have begin to come to terms with the things I can not control, and in this began to look into the things I can change in myself and in my life.

You are not alone friend.

For one thing, I too was kicked out of all my theater and arts classes.

However now I am doing arts again and NOBODY can stop me

you just have to look for the light in things, if that doesn't work you will make for a damn good comedian/phylosopher

-Zane

Why can't they just say that. I do. If I want help I ask for help... if I just want to vent I say "I just want to vent"

it keeps people from miscommunicating when your intentions are clear and upfront.

um.... did you read the whole thread?

Hey, I'm not the one getting angry here. This is support. I understand if you need help from people. But you don't pick and choose that help. I don't tell my friends to kiss up when I'm in a bind. You can have people like gilder and stuff who think we're all family but the way I was raised, I didn't choose the advice I was given and I turned out all right. I know you've had problems and you do have worth in this world. You just need to prove it to people. You earn respect and love, nobody gives it to you.

The term "family" can be thought of as those of us that belong to the wrongplanet---or those of us on the autistic spectrum. But as most of us know---not everyone in a family necessarily gets along.

Upon reading all the advice that everyone has tried to offer---whether harsh or mild---one thing is apparent so far. This thread has gotten nowhere except caused heated arguments. These arguments appear to be between those offering harsh advice and ttqs84 over the issue of the band.

So here is a question to ttqs84. Can you, ttqs84, give up on seeing the band and try to proceed with your life? You truly do not need the band to become the potential person you can become. In light of your responses toward others that you feel have been in conflict with you, I for some reason see a respectable and caring person underneath this. I truly believe that if you can move on with your life you will find happiness.

I am 44 years old, and I can tell you from experience that you have to be careful with what you think you have to have. For example, I used to obsess over this hugh Kimball Xanadu three manual theatre organ that had cost over 30,000 dollars in 1982. I wanted that more than anything in the world. But that was a lot of money. In the 1990s, I still obsessed over it. I kept wishing and wishing for it. Then, one day, a music store got a used one in for 5,000 dollars---and I bought it. Whoa---was this a nightmare. It never worked right, and for six months I was miserable. finally, the music store traded us a brand new top of the line console piano for it. My moral is, if there is something you really want (like seeing the band) you will probably get your wish. But many many times, that wish turns out to be not what you expected.