Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent
Dear M,
Thank you so much for staying in touch with me these past years. I wish I had the money to visit you. Not sure how you’d feel about me in person but I’m greatful to have been your friend. It’s sucks we live so far apart. I hope you are better and not upset with me for not answering right away...or??? Hope to hear from you soon.
A
_________________
I live as I choose or I will not live at all.
~Delores O’Riordan
Dear Superviser, and district manager above supervisor.
Which of the two of you is.. the bigger friggin ret*d????????????
Actually I'm talking to you ms Supervisor.
You knew that you were counting a store in the particular upscale mall. So you knew ahead of time what kind of stockroom it was likely to have. So you knew it was likely to have those rolling walls of shelves for stocked merchandise.
And you knew what that means. It means that some walls of merchandise are going to be locked from access while other rolling walls are being counted. So you KNEW AHEAD OF TIME that that situation was gonna happen days ahead of time.
So why do you act surprised like its some kind of unexpected crises?
What did you do? You panicked and called the DM. AND you took a pic of that locked rolling wall with your smartphone! That's like taking a picture of the rising sun in order to explain to someone how "this big shinny thing in the sky is coming up from the horizon! Jee Whiz I am scared I never expected THAT to happen! What do I do now?".
Is the DM as dumb as YOU? Does he ALSO need to be told what the sun is, and does he also get surprised when the sun rises?
Dear friends I dumped on FB,
I don’t hate you but I’m not going to be taunted and bullied into supporting every single belief you hold. I originally made friends with you online because we had so much in common back in the days, days when we could actually chat and joke with each other. I guess it is inevitable that we as people change. The reason for my doing this? I’ve been bullied my whole life and I can no longer walk on egg shells and get worried about a platform that was once used to just keep in touch with friends and family. I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me but I’d rather stay in touch with those who have actually been there for me and who have put up with my faults. I’m probably ironically not the best friend to have as I’m very passionate about my invidualism and the creative ways in which I express them. They may not be "correct" but they are and have always been a part of who I am bad or good.
Regards
_________________
I live as I choose or I will not live at all.
~Delores O’Riordan
Dear Everyone I know,
My sister is abusive, and the excuse that she's Autistic too doesn't mean s**t when she's beating me. The statement that she "can't help it" means nothing to me. She is hateful and physically abusive. When I was deep in my depression and she found my cutting scars, she screamed at me to go ahead and kill myself and hit me. She bit me the day I was born because I "pulled her hair". Since the day I was born she let me know I was unwanted. Since I can remember, she has been physically abusive. My first memories have been her hurting me, not of birthday parties and toys and games and cookies.
I have protected her for too long, and yes, I have been protecting her. When I could have gone to school and told my teachers that I was getting beaten and showed them her bruises, I stayed quiet; I didn't want my sister in trouble, but I can't remember if It was because of that, or because I knew the fact that if I said anything she'd just beat me again. When I, as a grown adult, could go to the police and tell them I've been assaulted; No. That is too much. For some reason, the bond of family makes all crimes against me absolvable.
I just wish I could tell you without all of you going "No you can't hate your family" "She can't help it", I wish I could tell you without my mother crying and begging me to stop, I wish I could tell you without getting beaten once again by her. I wish I could tell you and no action come of her, because, honestly, I don't want her arrested, because I know it's not.... all her fault. I just want my story out, I want people to know the truth.
Maybe that's why I'm writing this on a forum none of you know exist.
Love, Me.
_________________
"I'm nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there's a pair of us -don't tell!
They'd banish us, you know." - Emily Dickinson
Dear best friend,
Two things: First thing, Stop making noises that hurt. My headset picks up a lot of bad sounds for some reason. No, I don't know why. No, it's not funny for me to try not to yell at three in the morning because your fork scrapes on your bowl and everyone at my house is asleep and yell at me. If I punched you in the face, it would hurt, right? Same thing. It hurts. Stop.
Second: Calling my favorite video game my "special interest" hurts my feelings and makes me feel like you don't think it's valid. Everyone has favorite things, why is mine different? Because I've given it over 200 hours? Becuase I've bought it three times for two different systems? Because you don't like it as much as I do?
I don't do it to you, so stop mocking my favorite things. I know you do it just to bug me and get under my skin; It's not funny anymore - Maybe the first time, but not anymore.
Next time I'm calling something you like "special" and see how you like it. (Seriously, I'm close to a meltdown, I don't want to hurt your feelings.)
Love me
(P.s. You're still my bestie.)
Dear woman who doesn't know she's my grandmother,
I can feel you slamming and body checking the door right now, over my headphones blasting music. I don't know what's worse, hearing it or feeling it. It doesn't matter; leave us alone. I know you can't help what you can't help, but there are things you can.
Love, So Tired I haven't slept right in seven months please God just one full night's rest.
_________________
"I'm nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there's a pair of us -don't tell!
They'd banish us, you know." - Emily Dickinson
Dear Anxiety,
PLEASE STOP HURTING ME.
JESUS CHRIST!! All I want to do is get my car inspected, get some new tires and an oil change, pay my f*****g property taxes, pick my kid up from the Bible Club.
I can't breathe. I'm going to throw up. And you're sitting there making fun of me because you won't let me live my life without terror.
YOU ARE THE ULTIMATE ABUSIVE PARTNER. I HATE YOU!! ! ! ! !
I WANT MY LIFE BACK.
_________________
"Alas, our dried voices when we whisper together are quiet and meaningless, as wind in dry grass, or rats' feet over broken glass in our dry cellar." --TS Eliot, "The Hollow Men"
dear ~,
yes, i think you're great, and i'm spending time with you because i like you. however, because of my crippling social anxiety, i have absolutely no clue how to show it or how to transition from a good friend to a dating situation. so i'm choosing to just let s**t happen on it's own. too many times i've tried to force the idea of a relationship on someone and screwed it up before i was even really their friend, and i just don't feel like making that mistake again, especially with someone i truly like. sorry if you feel like i'm being distant, the reality is, i just don't have any idea what i'm doing.
886
_________________
If Jesus died for my sins, then I should sin as much as possible, so he didn't die for nothing.
DHolden5884
Snowy Owl
Joined: 4 Feb 2018
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 132
Location: Liverpool, Merseyside, UK
Dear Wxaoru
You've put me in a difficult position. I try so hard to be considerate, but its getting harder as you've become more and more single minded. You're my supervisor sure, but you're becoming lazy and narcissistic, thinking that your problems warrant everyone to care for your woes regardless of whether we think you are right or wrong. I had an epileptic seizure, you were more worried about being caught for leaving early instead of whether or not I was okay! I don't hate you, but you tell me to cover for your early leaving and phone calls to whoever, which potentially could get me in trouble as well. I don't know what to do, cover for you and run the risk of being disciplined myself, or let you face the consequences of your actions, which you'll probably hold a grudge against me for. You're supposed to be my supervisor, please act like it!
Sincerely
Me
A letter I will never send but need to write....
Dear Amy
It's taken me a long time to be up to writing this, as what happened left me full of so many conflicting emotions. But, I wanted to say that I have gotten to a point now where, despite all that happened, I wish only happiness and good things for you. I don't claim to fully understand it but I don't think that being the way you are, regardless of how much control you have over the lying, is something that makes your life a happy one overall and, while I was able to leave (difficult though it was), you don't have that option. That must be tough.
I still feel used, hurt and manipulated but, even if it was some kind of game for you, even if in some sense things were fake, even if you are genuinely a full-blown sociopath, I experienced an intensity of connection that I had never felt before and made me realise what was possible. We could get into how genuine it was but I felt what I felt. Now, we can't ever have that, but now I know what it can feel like and that's so exciting. I might one day find someone else who can make me feel like I felt when we were together. I might not - in which case, I will never stop being grateful for making me a better person and giving me hope that I thought I had lost. It was only six months but I think it was almost certainly the best six months of my life and nothing can take that positivity away. So thank you and good luck finding your own happiness whatever form that takes.
Si
_________________
AQ46, EQ9, FQ20, SQ50
RAADS-R: 181 (Language: 9, Social: 97, Sensory/Motor: 37, Interests: 36)
Aspie Quiz: AS129, NT80
Alexithymia: 137
Dear John,
Honestly, I don't want to have you as a doctor anymore. You are only there for me 2 out of 7 days a week, and your nurse Tiffany seems to ignore any calls I send her way. Because you refuse to want anything to do with me, my marriage is falling apart because of my meltdowns, and now my husband doesn't want to talk to me.
I liked it so much better when Melinda was my doctor. She was there for me 24/7, and actually made an effort to help. Instead, my family made me see you. I kind of find it hard to believe that A. you are a legitimate doctor, and B. your wife went through the same damn thing! You are lying to me just to make me feel better, and it is hurting my relationship.
You are now on the same s*** list as my father and my e-commerce teacher. I hope bad things happen to you in the future.
Your (soon-to-be ex) patient
_________________
Black cat on duty
