Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent
D6515
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 19 Oct 2016
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 67
Location: Glorious Albion
Dear _____,
I'm sorry the reality of how I feel is too much for you. And I'm sorry I can't put on a pristine, polished, tip-top facade for you all the time.
I'm sure you have your reasons. Maybe you don't want me to drag you down with me, which I understand. But frankly, it hurts and disappoints me that, when I stick around to listen to you rant and rave and cry, you can't do the same for me.
My Sweet Valentine from 1982,
I can't begin to write my words or thoughts, but you pulled me from the depths of despair into bliss. You know exactly what I'm singing, and you know why.
ARANFILY LALATT
CDW
JBYAM WYWH LACFK
_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles
You are adorable!
I love the way your face lights up. I love the sound of your voice. I love that look in your eye when you say something funny. I love the tone of your voice when you say something reassuring. I love our serious conversations and I also love our silly ones. I love that you care.
I hope you know that I care about you too.
Well, I have to hand it to her. She's smarter than I thought. She seems to have finally wrapped her head around the situation (mostly) in regards to my motivations and how things happened and hopefully that I'm not as crazy as she previously thought.
Part of the reason I said things I didn't mean in a 'trolling' fashion, to various people, in an effort to wind them up - was to try to make them feel the frustration that I felt of being continually misunderstood.
Imagine if the people you love with all your heart just think you're a liar, unreliable, not telling the truth even when you are. And being dismissed and ignored and the pain that comes with that. Just ugh.
I hope you are happy, anyhow. I genuinely wish you good luck with your new job. It sounds like a stressful job but I'm sure you can handle it. Take care. ![]()
_________________
“I was ashamed of myself when I realized life was a costume party and I attended with my real face” - Franz Kafka
dear b~,
we don't talk, we don't do anything together, we only have one thing in common - and that one thing i've lost interest in, for what it's worth - neither of us has the confidence to communicate with each other or try to make plans with each other. so why keep coming around me? things aren't getting better and there's no hope that they ever will. i have no courage asking either of you to hang out because of how flaky you are and i have better things i could be doing with my time then wondering why we can't figure our plans out.
believe me, i'd love for us to be the friends we were when we just met, but we've just had too many bad experiences together. you need to address the things that happened to you in your life before me, maybe we should reconnect in 3 years instead, when we actually have something to bring to each other's lives. cause right now, it's just holding on to some sort of ridiculous fantasy that we're all some sort of family or that we'll actually be happy together someday and that sure as f**k isn't going to happen. it's just fantasies and attention, we both deserve better. and for the love of god, stop with the 10 second hugs and the i love yous. if you did, you wouldn't treat me like i'm insignificant, like you have almost the entire time i've known you. you just like the attention
love always, 886
_________________
If Jesus died for my sins, then I should sin as much as possible, so he didn't die for nothing.
i appreciate everything you've done for me, but there's nothing positive at all that can come from us continuing to be friends. actually, it's really hurting me. you're making me feel like i have a chance with her. i don't. you know it. if i did, she'd be talking to me herself and not you being a bridge for our communication.
i get why you want us to be together. i have my life together, i'm "husband material" as you put it. i see why you want me to date your daughter. but there's a very good reason why she wants to date guys who drive lifted trucks, have no job and smoke a lot of weed. that's her lifestyle, parties, concerts. you can't force her to be something she's not. we could've talked about these things, but she got scared and chose to ghost me instead. stop acting like she'll come around. stop acting like she'll talk to me about the problems we had. it's been a month. i want to move on and stop thinking about her, but as long as you're around, it isn't going to happen. i shouldn't even miss her, but i do, because you're leading me on. please, stop. please just move on. you've been a great friend and a great source of support and i'd take a bullet for you any day, but you're making me miserable. MOVE ON.
886
dear self,
you knew you needed to do this 7 months ago. just f*****g do it. the longer you wait, the harder it's going to be.
if you want to meet your short term mental health goals, f*****g do it already.
stop worrying about her feelings, just tell her off. f**k.
dear self,
again, twice, you've let these dips**ts come back into your life, holding on to some ridiculous fantasy that you'll all be the family you thought they were. STOP. friends don't come and go every half a year until they need to use you for something (in this case, attention out of loneliness). friends don't flake on 50% of the plans you make together. friends should lift you up, make you happy, add quality to your life. these people do none of those things.
_________________
If Jesus died for my sins, then I should sin as much as possible, so he didn't die for nothing.
Dear Meredith,
I don't know why you insisted on making my life in middle school hell, but I don't forgive you. All I wanted was to go about my day, but you wouldn't leave me alone until you saw me suffer. You and your friends did it to me for so long that I just accepted it as how the world was, I didn't even realize it was bullying anymore. You'd mess with my books in my locker. I saw you doing it, but I didn't say anything. You'd also mess up your own books and tell the teacher I had done it to you. You'd tell me I couldn't drink from the same water fountain as you. You even once told a teacher that I did something really awful to you that I didn't do (I'll never know what exactly), just so they'd take me into their offices and try to "get the truth" out of me (which was confusing as f**k). I had panic attacks on my way to school sometimes. My grades suffered. I almost didn't get into the high school I wanted to go to... but I just barely made it. The best part of going to that high school was that people like you weren't there.
I was neither your first nor your last victim, but I have recovered. I hope you never have children, because no one deserves a childhood with no escape from that. I hope you one day realize all of the guilt that belongs to you, and that the weight of it crushes you.
-Fern
I never told you that I loved you because I didn't believe you loved me based on your actions - and I didn't want to commit to such a notion openly. Especially with a majestic woman whom would surely - quickly, find another better mate, at that time in my estimates.
I didn't realize that that love would last for years. It was my first time and I wasn't prepared for it whatsoever. Whilst I wasn't a virgin to physical sex, I was a virgin to the concept and experience of love.
You have hurt me more than you could ever know, taking many cherished friends with you, with no defence given to them of my actions through a lack of understanding as to my motivations, but at least you have acknowledged me recently and have shown that you care. Thank you.
_________________
“I was ashamed of myself when I realized life was a costume party and I attended with my real face” - Franz Kafka
Dear F....,
It has been quite some time since you wrote yourself a letter, but I think the best time for it is now, considering your paradigm shifts! Your wife has left you, without a proper explanation, and without a warning. I came to the US for her and she gave up on us within the blink of an eye! I get shunned by the person I wanted to spend my life with and now I am by myself, not really knowing In which direction to go, and what to think! You might feel trapped in that country on the other side of the planet, even though you are aware that you have friends you can rely on! You are not made for this life as it is and you would like to change everything to the way it was, but it is not going to happen! Accept it! You need to focus on what is good for you, even if what is good for you is impossible to pursue at the moment.
Try to stay positive, try to not see the black clouds over you. You have gone through enough things in the past that this should only be considered easy, yet it is anything but that.
All the mental and physical abuse you endured; all the times of loneliness and all of the people that have left you should only be a reminder to yourself that you will also get through this! You might be miserable now, thinking that no one in the world wants you, but you should know that somewhere someone is waiting for you! You don’t know who it is or when it will happen, but you will not be sad forever!
It is, of course, easier said than done, to see the silver lining, but if you try then you will see that it is just getting easier if you decide to do it
Take care and don’t give up
F....
_________________
I am a Michael Keaton lookalike, apparently
Dear You,
I can hear you in my office from all the way over there. Your neighbor gave you a dirty look. Someone cut you off on the freeway. It's too hot. It's too cold. Someone smells funny. The copier is making too much noise. The coffee is bitter. Over and over and on and on and on...
How many times must you inflict your litany of boredom and frustration on the rest of us? There is no polite way to say this, so...
Please, shut the f*** up!
Thank you,
Me
