Rants

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I agree with Froya on this account.

This is ridiculous.

Ri-dick-u-lous.

Nice to see you back Raleigh

May there be tears like a waterfall of black death
and may the pain be overwhelming and the anxiety all consuming thereof

I would like to be beaten and killed, that would make me feel better. I can think of some shady people that would probably do it if given the chance, maybe I should call them. Tell them to do it slow and make it painful and to set my corpse on fire afterwards, possibly while I lay there suffering. I wouldn't object to rape and some of the medieval torture devices look good to use as well.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

That's not even a rant, just AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAA

I wanna explode
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I wish I was completely non verbal,

My life would be a lot better if I was,

I was non verbal for a year cause I just didn't want to cause any more pain,

That landed me in a cell with no food until I talked

I can't escape, I am f****d no matter what I do.

I am f****d,

Just f****d

f**k

I just want to disappear,

I want to not exist,

I am not on anything for pain

Oh God I hope I get pain meds today from the doctors, if they don't want me to take matters into my own hands they need to give me meds that work

My head feels pretty interesting, and by interesting I mean horrible.

I'm in a rotten mood!

I don't have time to be on WP but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
Needed to get that out of my system.

Therapy appointment went OK.
Halloween was fine.
Regretting that I ever socialised with someone.
So much work.

I am imprisoned in all kinds of ways. I might get out if I keep working at it but damn. Stuck in my own head, chained to my desk because essays are due, stuck in an endless feel-bad thing which is apparently a 'relationship', no it isn't, damn. It's not a relationship if only one of you thinks it is, surely? Right, I have to get back to work. Inside of my head felt very scream-y, I hope this post helps.

I'll be fine.

Nobody knows, but I don't want to tell anyone... Just please stop, please...

If someone is hurting you Midnightstar16.... You should definitely seek help from someone, although I understand that is very hard to do

Just one more thing stacked against me.
I feel like I'm being crushed by this weight.

I wonder if I blew my head and became the poster child in the media for suicide and autism or mental illness or whatever, how many people would step forward and say, "no, he was bad egg and did X, Y and Z and deserved to die".

I can think of at least a few

I guess if that did happen it would suck for my family which are mostly hated anyway.

I guess that is a reason not to do it but that is assuming anyone would even f*****g care,

Finding a dead body in the hood is not really news worthy

There once was a Lillikoi
who lived in a shoe.
They had so many problems,
they didn't know what to do.

Recently, I have been reading where various corporations use what is known as candidate screening tests which, are nothing more than deceptively hidden psychological/personality tests. Don't get me wrong I understand that from a military/civilian police perspective no one would want to hire people whom wind up being hidden socio/psychopaths whom go out committing atrocities left and right. But, nowadays I've been seeing how these various psychological tests are being used by many North American corporations to so-called weed out the bad potential employees from the good hires. I've been seeing more and more of this with the various job applications I've submitted in various career fields and areas. Brutally honest I've failed these tests where I did not get hired. Sincerely, I wished that I could simply avoid these stupid things and have a normal interview.

I feel like a ret*d

I just feel like a empty hull with these feelings, I ignore and more come and then I continue to ignore and even more come. The evidence is overwhelming that I am of much lower intelligence. Negative and then even more negative, I can't do anything right. I just sit here and the thoughts come and go and even if I was to not act on thoughts of self harm, I am completely empty and devoid of any life when I get done thinking about how much of imbecile I really am.

Now I feel conflicted on using the words like ret*d here but its not meant as an expression of what anyone on the spectrum is but its how I actually feel about myself so yeah I am going to cry a bit

dcj. only a smart person could do such a thorough job of character assasination on themselves. not to mention your facility with coding.