Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent

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I'm really sorry that I overreacted.

I'm glad we're talking to each other again.

Dear You,

We're still waiting. Perhaps you could take a moment to get real before your manicure. Perhaps you could grow up before selling photos of your feet. Otherwise, we wouldn't want to interrupt your blessed day.

Your audacity is astounding.

Dear You,

I have a level 85 Paladin, a level 82 Shadow Priest, and I'm currently leveling a Warrior through Northrend, although I spend most of my time tanking instances in the Dungeon Finder. I've held off on getting Mist Of Pandoria because I got burned out on endgame progression after Wrath of the Lich King, and the Cataclysm content is still new to me. Plus, Monks seem redundant in an era of dual specialization and viable hybrid DPS, and while I know they are well-established in the lore, Pandoria does not appeal to me. So I'm wrapping up a Taunka questline in the Borean Tundra, trying to determine if I should go to Dragonblight or Grizzly hills, and now you know how I feel when you won't shut up about your favorite conspiracy theories!

Sincerely,

Me

Dear You,

I miss you and hope you're OK. Nothing is quite the same as before.

(( Hugs ))

To all of my high school friends (but especially one of you),

I'm grateful to be friends with you right now. I have waited since 5th or 6th grade to have any true friends and it was hard for me in middle school.

Thanks for being with me,
H

Ok, well this is awkward.

Maybe in another place in another time.

Not now. Really, not now.

Hugs to everyone here!

Dear You,

After four years, you could have learned a different song to sing. Maybe you could try something just a little more joyous ... ?

Sincerely,

Me

Dear All Four of You,
What the **** were you thinking? Thanks a lot. We're not your dumping bin. Get off your egos and grow up because I have enough to deal with already. Perhaps you could walk a mile in my shoes, or her shoes, or anywhere -- away from where you are now. Just don't come here. I'm tired of being shat upon.

Us

Dear Extra,
You are a neighbour. You don't matter.
Mum is my mum and we're doing all this stuff to keep her alive and the rest of the world is making it dangerous out there.
Do NOT tell a mum I can't hug or eat with or be near that her dog has something wrong w it.
All dogs need walks twice a day and her dog isn't allowed that and my mum isn't allowed to walk it.
Go hang
Move out after this is over
The one who actually matters round here

You're having do many issues with people because you are autistic. You need to look into it. Learning about how your brain works will help you.

Sometimes I have gently wept when I have had quiet moments alone. In the shower, beneath my blankets: places I would always wish you were with me. I walked past someone who smelled of cologne and it paralyzed me wondering how you smell. How I wanted you to tell me you missed me so badly in that moment. Whenever I hear Spanish it’s as though you were the inventor of the language, it sounded so new to me. I hear it everywhere now. But you aren’t there and you never were. I long for a ghost. Waves of soft dejection ripple through me when I think about how you called me your crowned goddess. How irresistible and arresting your voice was. I missed you so badly, needed you so badly. On nights when all I want is to hear about your day and I tell you how I’m sick and you’d beg me to rest, how we’d laugh so much we couldn’t speak. I can’t have that now. I wished to everything that I could be enough of what you wanted. But I am not. I couldn’t fathom a life where you don’t come to me, but I suppose that is my life now. I meant everything.

I had a dream about you the other night.
You were on the phone with me trying to help me fix a malfunctioning piece of technology. It didn’t work.
We didn’t talk about the virus. We didn’t talk about the time that has passed within which our silence grows. I did not tell you the thoughts that I have kept in my head because I can’t share them with you. I didn’t talk about anything.

This was a blip in the wavelength of time. I am sure I was a mistake. You never were for me.

I don’t know what else to say. I wrote you letters that will never be read, they’re hidden in my notebook like little messages in invisible bottles.

Goodnight.

Dear You,

If you would only speak in complete sentences and not digress into irrelevant topics, we would get along better.

Focus, please.  Focus.

Me

I want to have...the freedom...to...NOT...have contempt for you.

I like you as a person. I don't wanna hafta pick between liking OR respecting a person. It would be nice to be able to do both.

So can you PLEASE stop talking that way on the job????

Imagine that you encountered a fifteen year old kid. Imagine that this kid were to get upset and emotional everytime the sun sets at night. And imagine that this kid (old enough to be highschool) were to get equally emotional every time the sun rises in the morning. Imagine a human being who has been on the planet for 15 years, but who still hasn't figured out that its a cycle, and that the sun just friggin does that every 24 hours. It called "day and night".

That's how f*****g ret*d you sound when you talk that way.

You have worked for this company as long as I have been, which is for fifteen plus years. The thing you kvetch about is an everyday part of the job that I figured out how to deal with fifteen years ago, and haven't given a second thought about in fifteen years, and haven't emoted an emotion about in fifteen years. So the very fact that it is still a "thing" on your radar screen to even think about galls me. But you act SURPRISED by it. you're STILL surprised by something that happened to you every friggin day for fifteen years! And you have an emotional quiver in your voice when you talk about it. Forget about being my supervisor. You shouldn't be let out of a rubber room in an institution if you combine THAT much stupidity with THAT much emotional instability.

Thank you for being genuine. I can cope with genuine people much more easily than I can with people who dance around and try and be things. People who can be themselves, no matter how weird, are so much more easy to get-along with.

I want to talk to everyone but it feels like in my shoes, I can't get any kind of worthwhile message across. If I'm any less alone as a result of this pandemic, I have yet to figure out how.

I don't know if being reminded I exist would help anyone.

I've seen some really bad days before & I think I could be of help in relative terms; I still feel like I'm no good at starting conversations.

Should I really just embrace the awkwardness or would that be the worst thing I can do?

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos