Rants

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What a selfish b***h!

Pretty much,

Hiding behind my dad like, just because he says hurtful things doesn't mean she is hurtful.

Wow really, what was that 45 minute conversation about how much of a low life I am?

I told her I was drug dealer for the lulz even when its been while since I have done anything like that.

I hope the cops show up, that would be an epic waste of time.

All she wants to do is criticize and when I agree and calmly point out my parents own unhealthy behavior then I am mean,

So be it then, I have killed myself enough for them.



I would rather be mean for me then love them for their sake.

Just stop
Enough of the limitless critical comments
On my life
Just drop
The judgment and all of your pseudo-involvement
In my life

Step back
A moment, and look at the miracle started
In our life
Don't stop
The moment, and let the incredible happen
Knowing that

All that you want is to criticize
Something for nothing
And all that I want is forgiveness one more time
To be the best in the world

Just stop
With all your little, deliberate problems
With my life
Enough
Of all of the crippling, terrible pain
We feel inside

Step back
A moment, remember how the miracle started
In our life
Take back
The torment, I won't be enjoying this moment
Knowing that

All that you want is to criticize
Something for nothing
And all that I want is
Forgiveness one more time

I know that all that we want is to feel inside
Some kind of comfort
And all that we've done, we can't hide
We'll be the best in the world

All I ever wanted was to be a real source of
Compassion for the moment
That we find ourselves drowning in....

All that you want is to criticize
Something for nothing
And all that I want is
Forgiveness one more time

I know that all that we want is to feel inside
Some kind of comfort
And all that we've done, we can't hide
We'll be the best in the world

Just stop
Enough of the limitless critical comments
On my life
Just drop
The judgment and all of your pseudo-involvement
In my life

I feel as if im hardly acheiving anything in life. Im trying to find better coping mechanisms for my issues but it seems like i start to be improving a lot, then i go back to the beginning. Im trying not to go back to how i was in the past but its so difficult. I wont give up but theres only so many times i can do this. I used to think i could do whatever i put my mind to. My actual life and situation is better but i keep feeling a lot of pain now.

Dcj123 are you here? Whats up if u dont mind

I am here,

Why do you summon me?

To tell me what a low life I am? Too late, everyone beat you to it.

I am studying right now, well, if you can call it that, more like testing to see if I am dumbass.

I have no real solutions if God forbid you relate to me but I'll listen if that is it.

I wanted to know if your ok for now. I know ur not ok but its good ur still here

I am actually pretty good,

Lost everything that matters, rock bottom, nothing left to destroy.

My family is gone, which they are no saints either so might be for the best I don't know,

And its more of the same,

So when you can be at rock bottom and be mostly okay albeit sitting here smoking all day, then you realize, your emotionally f*****g indestructible.



Not in a psychotic way mind you, just that more of the same includes every f*****g thing and there is no other pain you can feel.

I have no way to make tea...

My mom took my pot I used to brew tea cause its a "family heirloom" and I am not part of the family because I am low life.

I gave it to avoid drama and to get my money but F it, I can't make tea now.

I just got an email from my Dad. My mom "sat down" in the shower, and couldn't get up. He couldn't lift her, and called the EMTs, who put her into bed.

All's well, then, although it was very scary to read the email. My heart was pounding. However, the next thing he wrote just about made my head explode. You and your sister don't need to do anything.

Um, not going to press the issue right now, but I beg to differ.

I feel trapped in a prison that I can't escape from. My Aspie mind works in mysterious ways and I'm always wondering what is causing me to be the way I am or if I am being too obsessive or too Aspie in any way. I keep going around in circles.

OMG I ATE A JABONERO LABELED HOT BY ITSELF AND I AM DYING, MY WHOLE HEAD IS FIRE AND I FELT IT IN MY NOSE AND EYES

I thought it was a jalapeno, I don't know how, maybe I should go to sleep

^ drink some milk if you have any.

I just made myself eat 'breakfast', now I remember why I don't eat in the mornings

Everything tastes so intense, it's disgusting. Like one bite of cucumber was just , I can't. My senses are too sharp.

I finished it though, all 96 calories of it. Just have to work on not throwing up.