Are you a b***h magnet?

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When I was eighteen, I traveled to California with other students to do volunteer activist work. I received three marriage proposals from three separate old men. One ran a drug rehab center, one had a small citrus farm, and the other was another activist. I guess my poor eye contact made them think I was a shy, retiring little thing...

in high school i was magnet bullies and jerkwads.
i just seem to attract evil in general

I attract hypocritical degenerates,does that count?

Are honest degenerates better?

Here is what I think the reason is that Aspies attract people that can easily take advantage of us in any and all possible ways:

- We do not judge people. We will welcome as a friend anyone and everyone.
- We tend to be friendly and a bit introvert/shy when we meet people and that makes us immediately seem like an easy pray
- We don't have a 'gang' of friends because we are not popular and because of that, we are like the weak singled out animal in a herd which gets attacked as first by hungry wolves
- We will not retribute when hurt. We will not act like a**holes or b*****s and do something to 'get' the one who hurt us. Instead we turn that pain and frustration inwards feeling angry at our selves, hurting ourselves instead of the one who hurt us. By doing that we seem to be indifferent to their actions, and that gives them the green light to continue their bad behavior towards us thinking we don't feel pain or take ther bulying at heart.
- When we get enough of the bullying and hurt we just leave, never letting anyone know why because it is too difficult to open up and share what we feel inside with others (especially NTs)
- The more the above situations happen, the more lonely and vulnerable we feel and the more will make friends with any one who shows us the slightest bit of attention and friendliness.
- Once that happens, we go back to square one and get hurt all over again, more and more often as time goes by until one day comes when we can bare the pain and the hurt no more like it has happened with me. I have no friends anymore, I want NO friends any more. Enough has been enough.

Star

Thank you hartzofspace and Aylissa and I am glad that you can find this helpfull when dealing with friendships.

At least I know that my BA in Psychology and Sociology can help someone in a prectical way...

Yes, I am thinking to write a book about my life. I spent 45 years searching for the reason behind the loneliness and frustration I felt all my life and now that I found the reason, I have to deal with the fact that I had wasted 45 years trying to fit in a society that had literally no place for me. It's a very hard reality, but maybe from my experiences others can learn and understand.

That would be the most wonderful legacy I can leave behind for all the Aspies on this wrong for us planet...

Calandale, you are also right and I also recognize what you say.

It has happened to me many times that I would tolerate much from my friends and then when it would reach a certain limit I would 'blow up' and speak out my mind or do something so out of proportion to 'get them back' that it would actually cause me to be even more singled out because all of the friends of the friend would group up against me...

Yes, we stand alone even when injustice is done to us and we finally gather the courage to stand up for our selves. The roblem is, that the way we stand up is so unlike the image people have of us (timid, docile, shy, etc.) that they freak out by this outburst of anger!

They suddenly see a face of us that they have never expected or even imagined. When that happens they feel betrayed because to them it looks like we had worn a mask and pretended to be shy and friendly while we (as they now perceive it) are actually mean, aggressive, violent, etc. They immediately end up disliking us instead of apologizing...

Star

I only get suckered by pretty smiles.

It wasn't an offer. I was just wondering.