A Lot Has Happened Recently

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All it takes is just a few members complaining that I am being mean.

If seniority alone was all that mattered, I would be a moderator myself by now.

Being upright does not equal being mean or violating the rules.
If a member accuses you of being mean there must be proof.

"Proof", in a social setting, is always open to interpretation; and WP is a social website.

For example, you could easily complain that the statement that I just made is "contentious" because it is not in complete agreement with what you just said, and "negative" because it you might think that it implies that your assertion is invalid.

Then you still not violate the WP Rules:

Yeah, that's tricky. I don't know if my 2 cents are worth anything, but I've run into some real life aspies, as in people who I didn't meet on this site, who seem to have the same brainfail; that they know everything about a question, and that they are qualified to dismiss other people's experiences because those don't fit what they think they know. If I hadn't experienced some of the problems said people feel free to comment on, I would probably have agreed with them, but with some reservations. As I do have personal experience contradicting their claims, I frequently feel the need to hit one of them in the back of the head with a spade or other heavy object. I'm not saying this is a worthy feeling, but if you manage to inspire people in the same manner, it might explain why people aren't ready to listen.

Could you eat humble pie and ask some people who are influential in your community what is going on? You know the type, someone who is popular because they are actually nice. What does your wife think? I think it's worth trying to salvage your reputation if you can.

Focusing on details instead of the bigger picture is a good way to sidetrack a discussion involving a lot of people - do you do it? What can I say, I recently offended someone important by going all grammar nazi in a high pressure setting. Now she questions everything I say.

What you say about your recent experiences reminds me of myself, Fnord, so I think I understand how you're feeling. Truth-tellers aren't popular in the NT world, but they're certainly necessary. Someone has to cut through the crap and confront people with reality.

We haven't had much contact on WP, but whenever I see your posts I always read them, because what you say is worth hearing.

On the other hand, not liking yourself requires work. I'm affected by this too. But I think we both know what needs to be done, although it isn't easy.

So what I'm saying is that I like you, Fnord ...

This thread is irritating.

I like Fnord, but I've seen him not sparing other peoples' feelings on here before. You're all tip-toeing around him acting like he knows everything and that all he ever does is tell people the facts.

We all know what's going on here. You're all going about in different ways, anything to avoid telling the truth. Fnord appears mean on here sometimes. Yes, mean, and rigid. Not factual like you're all trying to dress it up as. Yes, he is factual, but other times he is mean and harsh.

He's being avoided by people IRL for Christ's sake, how is he going to learn anything if you all BS?

I don't see BS, maybe I am plain gullible, just because he has been harsh doesn't mean that we all need to be harsh back to him. I wont do that, people don't learn anything about the topic from the release of another's harshness, they learn that the other person is harsh, any validity of points are lost to emotion.

I hope I got the quotes right.

And I think you should think about what Smudge said, and what you said.

You are negative and contentious. Which isn't all bad. But were you having a bad moment and now you just want to be you? Because if you meant what you said, you should go forward differently. Not completely differently, maybe just starting with a little generosity to the mistakes and inadequacies of a few people you see a lot. Not to get them to like you, just because you want to do what you think is right. So ok, go do that.

Don't worry about me ... through more than five decades, I've dealt with enough hypocrisy that it doesn't get to me. I just note who's who, and move on ...

I will say that there's no doubt that Waterfalls is not hypocritical.

I would bet that Smudge isn't either--though I don't know her well enough.

Anyway---you're all right, Fnord--most of the time. Sometimes, you could get a little rough with some people who are somewhat fragile at the moment.

Not even close to being ban-worthy--ever.

This is how I feel too, and should have put in. I went through so many captchas to post earlier I don't dare try to edit!

In regards to your OP, it seems that the issue is the extent to which you can ignore haters.

You cannot change your personality, nor should you (we like you)! Aside from that you might temper your arguments, a 'softer touch' especially with neurotypicals, can you ignore their snubbing?

It helps me to think of the other person as a child. Even though that inspires me to "make nice" more, it still feels like I'm being fake.

being diplomatic isn't fake for a nice person. it might feel weird at first if you're not used to doing it, but can become second nature with practice. fnord, you seem quite resistant to the idea that changing might be in everyone's (especially yours) best interest. change is hard, but i see you as up to the challenge. you're smart and disciplined. i'd bet on you.

Well, I think acting with discretion, 'being diplomatic', is a practiced skill. While it may be more natural for others, we can & do learn such skills with practice. (& I'm quite sure that Fnord is a nice person, for a badass Sith Lord, that is ).