Rants

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NOTHING I DO WILL EVER BE ENOUGH

I AM GOING TO CUT MYSELF

I am okay...

I think, I have hit my head a few times but I am okay.

I have a serious problem wanting to pick up my phone and get higher then Christmas, without details, I can get ecstasy for $7

I know I don't need to, my brain is hurting with bad thoughts

I turned my phone off and threw it somewhere.

I don't care anymore,

Parents suck, don't care
Feelings of wanting to die, don't care
I am low life that should leave, don't care

I don't f*****g care about anything, I am giving up

IM BACK HERE AS ANGRY AS EVER. I HATE MY LIFE. I HATE BEING SOCIAL. I HATE MY ROOMMATES. I WANNA JUST DIE AND GO TO HEAVEN. ESPECIALLY AFTER WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT

I am sick of hearing people complain.

All the people I live with do is complain, complain, complain.

Whenever people talk to me, the only reason is to rant to me about their problems. People come up to me, and I Think we're going to have a conversation, and then they complain.

Or cry. Or... or b***h about something, or something. And I like to help people, but I don't want that to be the extent of our interactions.

At home, nothing is ever about me. It's always about my parents, and all of their problems.
I don't matter, do I? All I ever hear from my mom is just her ranting about how horrible my dad is (they are divorced ten years ago) and screaming s**t.
Or she's complaining about how no one cares about her, and then whenever I have a problem, she tells me that I'm not the center of the universe and that I should stop complaining.

Literally all I ever hear is just hate, hate, hate, hate, and I'm f*****g sick of it. I wanna hear about something that's not someone complaining, or not someone saying something that's nasty. I just want to have a normal freaking conversation.

I just want to be alone and away from people who are arguing or fighting or turmoil or whatever.
I just want some darn peace.

I have problems, and no one listens to me.

I just wanna be acknowledged. I wanna be able to talk to somebody. I want someone to care about me, or how I feel. I just want to have a nice, normal interaction.

I am still craving drugs

I HATE CHRISTIANITY

SELF RIGHTEOUS PIGS

Telling me I can't rage against God when he is the one that made me f****d in the first place,

f**k em all,



Worlds of unconditional love from the pulpit with judgement from behind the pews

I'm just scared

I don't want to read a sheet about how to program my thermostat to the heating cables in the bathroom. There are even two different sensores a room sensor and a floor sensor. Which do I have???????????

I don't want to read two booklets of information about the water guard system!

I don't want to read a lot of information about the stove guard (or what the hell you call it in english). There is a whole sheet about difrent alarms this thing might give of. And of course that is exactly what is going to happen. This thing will go off, while I'm cooking!

I'M NOT INTERESTED IN THESE THINGS!! !! !! !! !! !! !!

I am craving drugs again
Never goes away

Can't take it,
Gonna hurt myself,
Yeah go ahead and laugh,
I can't do drugs so I am falling a part,
I am piece of s**t, I know I am,
s**t I'll laugh too, what kinda of low life piece of s**t scum falls apart cause they can't get f*****g high,
Off weed of all things,
Its not even addictive but I can't handle soberness,

f**k me, I am stabbing myself in my arm...

God why do I suffer this f****d up bull s**t,
I could go ahead and remove my f*****g main artery while I am at this s**t,

I won't though cause I am suppose to carry on and live some great wonderful life on a boat or in a car

I don't know why I don't just snap through this f*****g vein and f*****g die,
Everything I try to do will be a failure,
I'll never complete college,
I'll never have loved ones,
I'll never do s**t,
The one thing I can do is sitting on the edge of a knife