Rants

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I would hate for you to end up in prison Dcj.

American prisons are hell on earth.

At the moment it seems like the police is on your "side" They understand that you are having problems, and want to help you. You'd better not push that luck...

That is why I am not pushing my luck,

However, I found a cig store that is open 24 hours so I am outta of here, peace

Also I have been to jail, I get the idea but not prison. Its pretty miserable but the people there are about like the people here

GRAAAAAARGH.

.

I am sorry for my last two rants, I have been frustrated with life but I shouldn't hurt myself (not suicidal). I just have a lot on my mind and if I held on to such negativity it would actually be worse, its my release but it was not my intent harm others with my (intense) feelings. Its just, I have the right frame of mind to make it better (Completely devoid of emotions, at least in real life) but I am stuggling cause its internally harder to deal with this crap. I am taken it all in and I don't have a release, I am feeling everything and I just take it. Emotionally I feel like I am being beat everyday. I am keeping calm (in real life) but there is no where for the emotions to go, I've done whats right for me lately but it f*****g hurts. People bitching about every aspect of my f****d life and placing blame on me and yeah I am to blame but I am not the only one to blame so I am just absorbing this f*****g hate and I am smiling at it and it f*****g hurts. Family hates me, dad hates me, everyone f*****g hates me and yet these are the very people that help to make me. Yeah I am f****d up but I am reflection of the f****d up s**t around me, that not to say its not my fault but how the f**k are you suppose to know better when you grew up in this s**t. Nobody bothered to showed me s**t, I found this s**t out on my own. I didn't go to school and no one taught me, I taught myself and went to college. No one taught me to cook, I taught myself how to cook. No on taught me s**t, I was kept in a f*****g room all day and told what a defect I am everyday.

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Just venting anger

Last edited by dcj123 on 22 Feb 2017, 10:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

First my heart was aching, then I got really grumpy and frustrated because I had to run errands that should be totally unnecessary, but it's impossible to reach this people on the phone!! AND on monday I will have to be in my empty apartment from 1 pm to 5 pm, because sometime during that time appliances will be delivered. There is nothing to sit on there. At least I have internett.

But you have a bed, though, right?

That's what I usually do when I'm home.....lie in my bed.

^No I don't. It's my new apartment, and it's completely empty as I haven't moved yet. Yes, if I had a bed, I would be set for... well forever actually

Do you have a sleeping bag? You could camp there

He he, I haven't thought about that Maybe I shall bring my sleeping bag, or my exercise matt. Just so that I don't have to lay on the cold hard floor. Thanks for the tip!

I feel very abused

Though I doubt I have been, I guess everyone has been but still

I failed and now I am dead

Take both, and whatever else you can drag along! Might as well do glamorous camping, aka glamping