Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent

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Dear you,

Happy birthday you bastard. Always wanted to say thanks for everything. Never thought I'd ever be this much older than you.

Dear You,

I still miss you and think about you every day. I'm hurt, but I'm not really angry anymore. I hope your decision proves right and worth it in the end and you're okay now.

Me

https://youtu.be/g6lFcG7IAt8?feature=shared



Dear Strumpy Stallion,

I miss your face.


Me

Dear You,

I care about you more than you'll ever know.

From,
Me

Dear You,

I won’t say that I want you to experience the pain that I have. True justice is not possible. I just wish you were capable of feeling guilt and remorse, just a little empathy would be enough.

You destroyed a life, possibly more than one. You don’t deserve happiness or success.

From,
Me

It's always dreams that lead me back here. There's never any satisfying conclusion in dreams or in life. The only realization is that the uncertainty and lack is constant and not to be resolved. It's just accepting the need and fogginess as life that is. I still yearn for relief but have to accept it's not my path.

It's complicated in thankfulness, resignation, and disappointment. A hint of promise that never materializes. It's out of mind most of the time but then at times I relive it again in dreams.

It's you and not you and not just you. It's me and reactions to reflections and disappointment tinged with hope.

Thank you for the coffee. I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye.

To someone that I know very well.

You've finally figured it out. I hope this helps make your WP experience more enjoyable.

Dear You,

I miss you.

From,
Me

Dear Cat,

I just fed you.

Shut up.

From,

Me

Dear you,

Thank you for the coffee. I still think about that memory. How you were there for me when I needed it the most. We talked for hours that day but it felt like minutes. Time is a funny thing.

You used to idolise me to an extent. Which was odd, wrapping my head around the idea that someone could look at the disaster that is my life and find it admirable. I'm glad that you've realised that you are pretty awesome as well in your own right.

It's been a long time since we hung out. You've been busy with work. Still, I kind of want to introduce you to a friend of mine. I think you'd get on well. You're both oddly cheerful. Don't get me wrong, I'm not playing matchmaker here. I just think you'd get on as friends. Maybe not. What do I know?

From, me.

Dear You,

I’m sorry. I did not mean anything by it. It was a weird mistake when I wasn’t thinking clearly for reasons, and I couldn't articulate what I actually wanted to say.

From,
Me

Dear You,

It’s been so long, but I want to know: are you and have you been happy all these years? Do you have a family? Have you forgiven yourself? It was never your fault. I wish I could’ve made it more clear at the time. I have never blamed you.

Thank you for what you did to help afterwards and for being you. I wish things could’ve been different.

From,
——bug

Dear You,

I wish I had been able to read the many signs you gave me, over years, when we were both teenagers, and which in hindsight now seem so clear. My life may have gone in a very different direction if we had managed to connect all those years ago, though I'm not sure that I would have been able to give you any lasting benefit, given what little I then knew about myself.

So, perhaps, it is best that we never did connect.

The quiet, weird, tall, smart kid in your class, on your bus, and who telephoned you, once or twice, but never had the fortitude to actually speak with you on the phone.

Me

Nos da, Cariad

The things I learned from you;

It's always my fault -- if I said something and the other party did not understand, it's my fault.
And if they said something and I did not understand, it's my fault.

If there are electronic delays, traffics and anything unavoidable -- it's my fault.

People are only being polite.
They're not being generous, they're not offering helping -- they want me to say no. I am being rude for saying yes.

If I'm sick, if I'm dysregulated -- that's all on me. It's no one's business. I am on my own.

I am just an obligation that everyone is just putting up with. I am helpless so I'm not accountable nor should be taken seriously.

Conditional love. Conditional friendship. Conditional relationship.

I do not care. Doesn't matter what my intentions are -- I do not care. This doesn't apply to anyone else.



At best, you already confirmed what I already knew.

I don't hate you...
I hate your world. I want your so called world to just burn already.

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