Dear mum,
I'm not losing weight for you or dad, anymore because it doesn't work that way. I will be losing weight, when I'm ready. I know that you don't like that idea, but that's the way that it is. I will be pulling out my Points TM Ranges. However, since my range is 25 to 29, I'll be adding 4 points to the top of that range, so that I maintain my current weight. That way, I won't be going up in weight and we will all be happy. If I open my arms to you, could you open your arms to a Sid-like marshmallow like me, and her toy?
Your Overweight Baby,
Cockney 