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dcj123
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21 Mar 2017, 12:37 am

Shame and death :cry:

The end doesn't look much better then the means :oops:



Froya
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21 Mar 2017, 8:39 am

cathylynn wrote:
Froya wrote:
I think some of my pain is because I'm moving. Although I'm sort of sick of my landlord, there is still an attachment there I think. When he talked about putting paint cans into the apartment, later the same DAY as I'm moving, it hurt.

I'm thinking about buying a flower and give him, but I'm not sure. I think I owe him a thanks for the low rent which has made it possible for me to buy an apartment :?

i think that a small token of appreciation is rarely wrong.

When I think back there have been lots of good moments (but aloso bad of course), and I think it will be nice to end on a good note too. I will go in to town on Thursday and buy a flower.



jrjones9933
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21 Mar 2017, 11:00 am

I'm losing my mind over this move. I keep getting motivated and getting some things done, and then get floored by anxiety. I'm halfway done, and I have four days left. That's easily enough to move everything, clean everything, set up a donation pickup, and cancel my utilities. A normal person could probably do it in two, for that matter. For some reason, I'm persisting in planning to move everything tomorrow, even though it will be raining. They are only talking about a quarter of an inch, though.


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Froya
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21 Mar 2017, 2:04 pm

Sometimes when the inner preasure get high, a little devil awakens in me... :oops:

If I really analyze my deeper motives for some of my impulses I can see that they are selfish and sort of mean :oops:

It's sort of fun and exiting, maybe that's the attraction to this behavior :( :oops:

I don't think accepting oneself means that you should feel free to give in to every impulse (I hope not...)



Last edited by Froya on 21 Mar 2017, 2:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Froya
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21 Mar 2017, 2:18 pm

For dcj

Image



Froya
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21 Mar 2017, 2:40 pm

Froya wrote:
Sometimes when the inner preasure get high, a little devil awakens in me... :oops:

If I really analyze my deeper motives for some of my impulses I can see that they are selfish and sort of mean :oops:

It's sort of fun and exiting, maybe that's the attraction to this behavior :( :oops:

I don't think accepting oneself means that you should feel free to give in to every impulse (I hope not...)

I wonder if the state of mind I'm describing here is shamelessness. I don't know



Lillikoi
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21 Mar 2017, 6:35 pm

s**t. :cry:



jrjones9933
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21 Mar 2017, 9:52 pm

Another day drawing to a close, and I just did not get enough done today.

I really don't know what I'm going to do from here on out. I added another half-day project to my list, for safety reasons, so I have less time than I had planned. I'm looking at the stuff I plan to carry in the car, and it looks like a lot. I may need to put more things in the POD, but I was planning to finish filling that tomorrow.

Over the past month, I've been working out a plan and executing it. Now, it's coming down to the wire. I want to arrive with some energy to enjoy officially moving in. At least I'll have a long drive, but not too long, to unwind and sort out my feelings.

I felt a lot better when I got excited about leaving the house. I'm getting uncomfortably close to agoraphobia.


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21 Mar 2017, 9:56 pm

s**t.. :cry:



Froya
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21 Mar 2017, 9:57 pm

Lillikoi wrote:
s**t.. :cry:

((((Hugs))))



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21 Mar 2017, 10:06 pm

Froya wrote:
Lillikoi wrote:
s**t.. :cry:

((((Hugs))))


I have a lot on my mind, that I have been keeping in for years and years and years and years and years, and I'm just trying to figure s**t out. :cry: and I'm really confused.

And I don't know what to do or who to talk to. :cry:



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21 Mar 2017, 10:09 pm

Lillikoi wrote:
Froya wrote:
Lillikoi wrote:
s**t.. :cry:

((((Hugs))))


I have a lot on my mind, that I have been keeping in for years and years and years and years and years, and I'm just trying to figure s**t out. :cry: and I'm really confused.

And I don't know what to do or who to talk to. :cry:

Is it your mother?



Lillikoi
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21 Mar 2017, 10:16 pm

:!:

Froya wrote:
Lillikoi wrote:
Froya wrote:
Lillikoi wrote:
s**t.. :cry:

((((Hugs))))


I have a lot on my mind, that I have been keeping in for years and years and years and years and years, and I'm just trying to figure s**t out. :cry: and I'm really confused.

And I don't know what to do or who to talk to. :cry:

Is it your mother?


How did you know? 8O

That, and a lot more things.

But... yeh. I just have been thinking about that lately, and... I am not sure whether it is normal or not. :cry:



jrjones9933
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21 Mar 2017, 10:19 pm

If I had a nickel for every minute I've spent agonizing about my family, trying to make sense of the first 18 years of my life... Actually, if I added up all the support, it might balance out.

I feel somewhat better now that I have some idea of what kind of crazy each of us are. :?


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Froya
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21 Mar 2017, 10:22 pm

Lillikoi wrote:
How did you know? 8O

That, and a lot more things.

But... yeh. I just have been thinking about that lately, and... I am not sure whether it is normal or not. :cry:

You have been mentioning your mother some times, so I just guessed :)

Can you talk to your father about things?

I don't know if it's normal or not. I don't know what she does or how she behaves. Saying "f**k you" to you, isn't ok though.



jrjones9933
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21 Mar 2017, 10:48 pm

Everyone eat some nuts. Not if you're allergic to nuts, but otherwise try it. Nuts keep the freakouts away. How could I forget that?


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