Craig28 wrote:
And this is why I have no experience. No one has helped me in the 28 years so that I would be reday for the relationship stage.
To add further: I never had a Valentine's Day, so next year I am gonna send Helen, the married woman, some flowers. They will be from a "secret admirer" and she won't know they are from me.
I need a Valentine's Day. Its just unfortunate that its happened like this. But, hey, thats life. She'll have to suck it up if she finds out that it is me. She'll have to suck it up anyway.
She
won't have to suck it up. If she feels that you are encroaching too much into her private life with her husband and acting too romantic, she can ask her boss to put her with a different client. If that isn't possible, she can quit her job entirely.
You need to be a little careful here. If you act on the things you are saying, you will make Helen nervous about the strength of your romantic feelings for her. She isn't actually your girlfriend and if you start treating her like she is, you run a very high risk of her not being your befriender (or whatever the term is) anymore. Please be careful not to drive her away with inappropriate romantic overtures.
What you should be getting from Helen is not faux romance (she's married!! !! this is her job) but instead you should value what you learn from her about conversing with women. The lessons you learn from her about how to talk to women are transferable to other women.
This is the Haven so what I say is meant to be helpful not snarky. I think you are approaching the concept of "girlfriend" all the wrong way. Your posts are all about what you want and need and how much benefit a girlfriend would bring to your life. But relationships go both ways. They aren't just about what you want and need. They are 50% about what
she (whoever she may be) wants and needs. You meet in the middle. It is probably scaring women away if they can sense that being with you means they are 100% responsible for your happiness and their own happiness is irrelevent. That's an emotional chore and it's not one that women are in a hurry to take on. It might help your success to think about what positive benefits you could bring to a girl's life. Girls need a motivation for how their lives will be improved if they are with you. Would she have a shoulder to cry on? Would she have somebody to do her favorite activity with? Would she have a steady source of romantic gestures to make her feel special? I'm not saying those are the things you should offer. Those are just some possible things girlfriends get out of a relationship. Think about what you have to offer rather than what you need her to give you and you will likely have more success.