I don't know what to do.

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I'm proud of you Sweetleaf. I know how hard calling that place was for you, but you went ahead and did it.

I hope it is helpful for you.

Well so much on cutting down on those things I think its safe to say I've failed....I will still go to the appointment and all but not sure I can cut down or whatever like they said I should be open minded to. Anyways I feel like I am heading down a path of hopelessness or something...I feel like it would be recommended I turn back from before it's too late. But there's nothing really keeping me from continuing on that path.

hmm I wish I could make more sense.

Sweetleaf I fully understand what you are trying to say. You need to remember that they are not saying to put an end to using instantly.
Trying to cut down is easier when you make certain points of achievement for yourself like using smaller amounts or using less often.
And you have not failed, the only way to fail is to give up and i trust you will not do that because there are things in life worth living for.
Think of all the people here trying to help isn't that a good thing?
And also those people at the appointment can help as long as You let them

I hope this makes sense because even after double checking i'm afraid i made a mistake

I know they didn't say I had to stop instantly(though I am not even really looking to quit anything at this point), thing is I don't know if I could cut down...I mean that's what reduces my pain. I just thought I'd try and cut down some before the appointment but then of course I couldn't take feeling all anxious. I guess I haven't been drinking as much as usual though, but yeah I can't say I've cut down on the cannabis and am not sure I want to especially with trying to cut down on drinking.

Also I feel rather empty so even if I did have everything I found worth living for....I probably still wouldn't be able to enjoy it and of course I'm stuck in a basically permanent state of hyperarousal/anxiety whatever you call it except for when I get exhausted from it or am well drunk or high. But thanks I guess I was just venting a bit, I'll still go to the appointment I just am a bit concerned about how much they may try and push cutting down on things but if I don't go I don't have the chance of finding out.

I am sure they will understand your problems. I mean they did study for it and my own experiences with seeking help are positive.
As soon as I found out i might have aspergers i went to the psychiatrist and they guided me trough the process.
And also they won't ask hard questions or be hard on you