My mother has cancer and is going to die

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My friend that built the garden enclosure died of lung cancer.He was 86 and did not want to do chemo.I asked him if he was afraid to die and he said" No,that this was not living."He had been able to bring in his own firewood the fall before,a very independent person.To be tied to a bed was worse than anything to him.I suppose each person is going to deal with it in their own way.
It's to bad that there is also all the drama going on.Even if her brother is a user,she may want to spend some time with him.Maybe once they were close as kids.

I think my mom feels similar to how your friend felt at the time. My mother cannot do as much as she'd like anymore. She was used to going out regularly at any time she felt like it before the COPD and cancers came around. It was so instant too, life changed drastically in a matter of just one day, and it gets worse and worse. I just wonder what keeps these people going on, when life is so bad...

Yes, I agree. She wants to get out of the house and be with some other family for awhile. My other parent just dislikes them, because they are pill addicts and even though they do love my mom, they can't help but try to take away from my mom, like they did last time. It is a difficult situation. If all goes as planned, she will get to go to her brother's house today. Awhile ago, she was moaning and crying again, not sure why, I asked and asked but she couldn't tell me because words are hard to come by for her at times. She walked up the stairs though, moaning more, and is now sleeping with my other parent for awhile... Walking upstairs definitely hurt her more but she really wanted to go up for some reason.

Mom probably won't be going anywhere today, she is so exhausted. I think she was crying and then half awake for the entire night and early morning. She could barely get through today's radiation treatment it was so bad. She's sleeping like a log right now. I left her some pizza I cooked in case she gets hungry when she wakes up, who doesn't like cold pizza? I am worried she's going to cry again, if she does become alert tonight, because it will be too late to go out at the moment, and she is still in a lot of pain. It stresses me out so much when she cries and I think because of the brain cancer, she is more prone to crying and not just crying but long bouts of crying.

Maybe something for anxiety would help her?Pain medication can cause people to become depressed.
Nothing beats cold homemade pizza.

I think she's already on a fairly high dose of benzos for anxiety, at least she was before everything happened.
The pizza is not homemade actually, but I could make it for her some time. Right now, I try to not be handsy with the food I make her, because I'm still sick with a virus. I've been pretty OCD over the past week. Washing hands a lot, using paper towels to open doors, disinfecting door knobs, countertops, ect.... daily, some times multiple times a day. I may need to invest in some rubber gloves to keep my hands from looking like skeletor's.

Mom's crying and moaning again, but we aren't sure what she is crying for. We've both asked her and she doesn't say, or if we ask her about specifics she says "no...". My other parent asked her just a moment ago if she wants anything or if she hurts anywhere and mom got frustrated and said to stop.

I have a feeling that she is still a bit affected by last nights negative conversation that made her cry so much. When I asked her if she wanted anything or if I could do anything for her last night and this morning, she said no a lot... But I did get some okays and stuff when I tried to comfort her mind.

I'm thinking I should try going to a cancer forum and asking about the way she is behaving, and seeing if I can figure anything out to help her more.

The cancer forum sounds likes good idea.My friend just slept a lot and seemed to have some memory issues.
I found a hand sanitizer that has lotion in it.In flu season I use lots when I go to town.You can also use the spray on Lysol on doorknobs and surfaces,helps keep your hands from drying out.

My mom sleeps a lot and has memory issues. Those massive doses of painkillers and benzos should do it. It's so weird, when she was in the hospital my other parent said she would walk around a lot and be active. When she's home though, she's mostly sleeping. Well she now has a I.V. type of thing, that gives her medicine very regularly, automatically. The Hospice people are really nice and helpful, they come to your home, and try to make things easier. They're also available as emotional support for the patient and their family.

Hugs to you. I'm going through a similar thing... my grandfather's also got terminal cancer, but I'm making the most of the time he has left. When he finally goes, I'm making a donation to a charity for the treatment of cancer and other age-related diseases, to prevent future suffering. You might consider doing something similar. Anyway, you have my sympathy.

Mom's not eating, hasn't eaten much besides peaches in the past three days. She is not very responsive either.

I myself am suffering as well, while the virus seems to be slowly leaving, my severe asthma is still very effected. My pulmonary doctor is too busy for me, only place I can go to it seems like is urgent care, the ER, or my GP who doesn't seem to think I have anything wrong with me because my O2 levels are high when I come there.

Lifes hard... So hard

My friend would only eat green grapes when he was sick.
Life is hard,it's bad enough when you are healthy,but when one has a full plate of sorrow like you do,it can be incredibly rough to just keep plodding on.

Maybe fruits are easier on the stomach. I know my mother takes a lot of medicine that can be rough on her stomach. She doesn't eat foods she used to love as much, like pizza, sausages, other meats, or junk food which can all be hard on your stomach too.

I'll be going to urgent care in the next couple of days I think, I bet they will give me a short course of Prednisone. Kinda scared to take it, never have before, but not much else works well at the moment.

Mom is going to go to live at the Hospice House now.

My other parent just cannot take it anymore. They get very frustrated with my mom, and at times I cannot blame them, but it is still very sad. Other parent and I all cried. My mom in her haze, was able to come out and say "Sorry" and to call the hospice house. Other parent said sorry, it's not your fault, but they just can't do it anymore.

I don't know what to say now. I just feel so much pain and sadness...

Well, they say she probably only has days left.

It all happened so quick. Its only taking about a month.

Sometimes it does happen fast.My friend only lived about five months after his diagnosis.
I guess it is better than years of suffering with it.I think sometimes it is so miserable that people will themselves to go.I would not want my kids to watch me suffer,that would make it worse for me.They will make her as comfortable as possible.That is all anyone can do now.