Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent

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Dear zOMG Aspies,


you whine about me whining? I whine, but at least I have the balls (woman have them too!) to admit that I whine!


Love,


Ana54

Dear Ana54.

I had planned to do this the whole drive home from work, but am just now able to get online. I am soooo sorry that I led you to that place. There are a lot of good people there, but sometimes things are said that are spiteful and immature. I feel horrible that it was my playful thread that led you to discover some of the mean things that have been said. I hope you know that nothing really is meant by it. I'm sorry!

Darryl

Dear Ana54

This is the exact same point that I made on intensitysquared. Girls do have balls, but on the inside.

It was very mean of Starbuline and the others to insult you in such a malicious way for doing nothing wrong. They whine themselves, much more than you do. Starbuline has continually whined and whined and whined for eternity, yet people don't complain about that. Bloody hell.

Alex

people have dude...
I think it was mean and stuck up for ana
she's cool
chatty-which is fun
she's cool

Dear Ana54,
Hi, I don't know you, I actually heard about you there, which is sad that things are going bad, I would like to say nice to meet you if this would be in other circumstances sadly. Anyway, there are people here on WP that actually like you, as I can see, and they are interested in your threads and posts, and that's a good thing.

Cheers.

Oh that's so terrible!

Dear zOMG Aspies,


I'm not whining about you because you don't like whining. Being a depressive myself I know that the only way to cure depression is by laughing and joking, and things like that. That's what I meant my threads to be... a joke (yes, and also a reason not to mess with me... who likes being spammed?) I really hope you found them funny... it was kind of lame, but the best I could come up with.


Trigger11, Greenblue, Kilroy-- I appreciate your double-sidedness; I know what it feels like to be stuck between two parties! I've been there myself! Thanks for the kind words and for helping bring peace to the forums!

Dear William,
I never told you the things about what Dianne has done, to me and to others, and I never will. I'm not sure whether you know how I feel or not, but either way you have to know that I do not want to break you two up, that is the last thing I would want to happen. I don't want to see you get hurt, so even though she treats you like a possession, a trophy (why can't you see it?) I'll never wish the two of you ill...
Why do you have to f**k with my brain so much all the time? It's like you do everything in your power to confuse me, by making me love you so much, then making me hate you so vehemently that I can't even think straight. I know it's not your fault, but I really with you'd stop doing these things to me. Just tell me what it is you want from me, I need to know where I stand. I've kept your darkest secrets for a long time now, even from that b***h you call a girlfriend, doesn't that mean anything? How can you seek me out one day, and then make like I don't even exist the next, like I'm nothing but an irritating speck of dust that's landed on your neatly polished shoe? I know you don't see me how I want you to, and I will never expect you to do so. Maybe I don't really even want you to see me that way, I just think I do. I know we're better off just friends, but I need some clarity. Please. You're driving me insane with all these mixed messages. It has to stop.
Forever and Always
Rei

Dear C.F.,

Why can't you believe that I have Asperger's? why must you question everything I do and everything I am. my whole childhood was full of you making fun of me and treating me badly. you told me that something was wrong with me and someday someone would figure it out, you told me I had no common sense, you told me I was stupid. I am not stupid, in fact far from it. Someone has figured "it out" and you were right, I do lack common sense most of the time. I am autistic. You find that so offensive and I don't understand. You accept the fact that my daughter is. I want to feel loved sometimes too. everything that is wrong with me isn't because I was sexually abused like you think, I was born this way. Don't you remember how I would stay inside and read instead of play with other kids, how most of the time I had one friend or none at all and something would happen with the friend I had and I'd be alone again? Don't you remember how I read the whole encyclopedia set for something to do? Do you remember how much I got teased and made fun of? Do you remember when a couple of the kids wrote a note about killing me and we had to take it to the police station? Do you remember how I couldn't stand to have the fan and the radio on at the same time because it drove me crazy and you would say how I was not a normal teenager, because teenagers liked music? Do you remember how I hated taking baths and showers? Do you remember how I picked my arms open all the time? How they tried to medicate me for it. Do you remember how messy my room was but how much of a fit I threw when you would empty everything out of it and throw it down the stairs so I would have to take it all back up and make it look clean, I couldn't stand having that room changed. Do you remember? why can't you understand.. you are doing it again.

Father,

How dare you blame me for your actions within your marriage to my Mother. You are delusional and continue to pass the blame to everyone else so that you can feel better about yourself. The only one with a mask on is you. You sicken me with you arrogance over this. You want the truth? We don't like her. Despite that, we are all willing to accept her for you. But I get to decide what happens in my home, including who is invited to what event. Her e-mail last year that insulted Lara, Mom, and Robyn was enough for us to decide we didn't want her around.

As far as me being honest with myself...well, I got news for you. I got fired again, this time from the position I had held for 5-1/2 years and a program I had supported for 9 years. All because I am perceived as "not an advocate for the program" and because of my anti-social behavior in either not attending social events or being alone in a corner when I do attend them. Constantly having people misunderstand my technically correct, but blunt and direct responses has led to me being dismissed. These same people tried to coerce me into changing safety assessments, which was immoral in and of itself. As a result, I went to a Psychiatrist to protect my family and job and have been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, ADHD, and Social Anxiety. Likely more as we continue treatment. I am on medication now, which I am adjusting to. So when I said I do not have time to deal with your crap, it is because I really have a lot to deal with right now. Your pettiness over this is not something I am going to address right now. I have way too much in my own life and this issue is nowhere near the top of my list. I have no energy, barely sleep, and am constantly wiped out. So a face-to-face, "get all of this out" meeting is not going to happen anytime soon. It's clear you can't respect the more important rule either, that what went on between you and my Mother is your business and should not be aired out with either Robyn or I.

I am in constant pain in my back due to various issues. My gut has been messed up for over a year. I am barely staying employed with my inability to focus due to the many distractions I have and obsessing over them. I don't need to waste my time with you. You are so selfish.

As far as you go, all I asked of you was to be a good grandfather. Did you call Megan on her birthday? How about Molly? Not even Josh? When you were at Josh's birthday party last year, you never acknowledged Josh, let alone wish him a "Happy Birthday!" Wow, what a great grandfather you are. They barely know you. You never come by and play with them. You never call or even e-mail unless you have some bone to pick. You've become an afterthought to all of us. Don't use Betty as an excuse either, because we have been willing to have her over or meet at restaurants with her, just not when the "rest" of the family is present. But you made it clear where you stand on that. Plus, before she even came into the picture, we barely ever saw or heard from you.

With regards to being anti-social...well I have always responded politely to her when she spoke to me. Since I have nothing to say to her, I have not initiated, nor will I, any conversations. I treat her no different than anyone else. I only have conversations with Robyn and Mom about the kids, movies, music, or sports. Guess what? That is how my brain functions. Did you bother to look into Asperger's Syndrome when I told you about it and asked about any family issues I should be aware of? Funny how I found out about Paul second-hand. That kind of family history affects what medications I should try and take, which is why I asked months ago for any information. "Aspies" don't make small talk or eye contact unless forced to. We are wired differently. It is what it is. I am uncomfortable enough around her, I can't be arsed to try and accommodate for my inequities under such circumstances. I can barely do it when it matters.

Pissed

Dear Ana,
Sorry for not being very enthused about your ideas about the possibilities of disaster. Sometimes I can feel hopeless and say "whats the point it probably wont happen anyway".. Anyway I feel bad about it. Its because Im down like you right now, but I hope Im not the cause. Lol there I go with conclusion jumping again. At any rate I hope you start feeling better again soon and that I do as well so that I wont be so doubtful in the future.
Gah, Ive been living in my head for way too long!

Ah sweet one, get back
online so that we can talk.

I need to know.

Dear Username88,

You are NOT and were NEVER the cause of my depression or any bad feelings! We understand each toher so well that you give me hope! I'm looking forward to being in the commune with you and the others whether we have a bunker or not! It was a suggestion... that's all. I was feeling down at the time, and often when I get depressed I get:



1. paranoid
2. selfish
3. angry
4. disdainful
5. hopeless
6. listless
7. tactless
8. lifeless
9. scared
10. repulsed/revolted/disgusted/grossed out
11. stressed/worried/agitated/restless


This time it made me paranoid.


I also want you to know that you should not give up hope about all this! It IS going to happen!








Dear Ana,


Please remember to do the following tomorrow:


1. apply for AISH
2. apply for an online bank account
3. clean out your suitcase
4. clean out your backpack and organize everything in it, including everything you wrote down!

Thanks!

~Ana

Dear username88,


just PM random people here and tell them that you're depressed and need to talk. Until one of them talks to you. Or call one of those hotlines in that sticky thread in this forum. Please stay alive! I want to see you ALIVE!

Dear zOMG aspies,

You fail.

As the ever-annoying saying goes,

I lol'd.