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I've had it with feeling feelings

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ZEGH8578
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26 Jul 2009, 2:06 pm

Fickle_Pickle wrote:
ZEGH8578 wrote:
Fickle_Pickle wrote:
ZEGH8578 wrote:
Fickle_Pickle wrote:
ZEGH8578 wrote:
Fickle_Pickle wrote:
ZEGH8578 wrote:
Fickle_Pickle wrote:
ZEGH8578 wrote:
its gonna be fun to check back in... 5 years?
and see if you still have all your pesky emotions intact or not :D


I might die by then. I always imagined it would be from a disease or I'd end up a murdered stripper.


see? fun thoughts!

But still no emotional detatchment.


but fun emotions are good emotions

Yeah, right. :roll:


what you dont LIKE JOY?
:S

FUN is GOOD, you know, dopamine and all :I


But how can it be called "joy" or "fun"?


because it is?
do you know what you are in fact missing?
you go on about wanting to eliminate your emotions, but frankly its both
1. impossible and
2. pointless as a request

i used to weep and sh** at night, like a lil sissy ( :roll: ) and purely for feeling sorry for myself, cus i dont shed squat of tears for others, but i decided that enough was enough. concious decision. no more boo-hoo.

bottle it up forever for all i care, if i manage to bottle everything up past death, then victory for me :D
if i burst, youll hear about me on the news :I


Since I am a female, therefore inferior, I have to use drugs or have parts removed or deactivated. Or just search for an uncaring love partner who will slap me in the back of my head if I start to cry or whine.


wow your pretty conclusive arent you :D
maybe you need a change of scenario?
just a big change, do you live at home w parents?


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''In the world I see - you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center.''


Fickle_Pickle
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26 Jul 2009, 2:49 pm

ZEGH8578 wrote:
Fickle_Pickle wrote:
ZEGH8578 wrote:
Fickle_Pickle wrote:
ZEGH8578 wrote:
Fickle_Pickle wrote:
ZEGH8578 wrote:
Fickle_Pickle wrote:
ZEGH8578 wrote:
Fickle_Pickle wrote:
ZEGH8578 wrote:
its gonna be fun to check back in... 5 years?
and see if you still have all your pesky emotions intact or not :D


I might die by then. I always imagined it would be from a disease or I'd end up a murdered stripper.


see? fun thoughts!

But still no emotional detatchment.


but fun emotions are good emotions

Yeah, right. :roll:


what you dont LIKE JOY?
:S

FUN is GOOD, you know, dopamine and all :I


But how can it be called "joy" or "fun"?


because it is?
do you know what you are in fact missing?
you go on about wanting to eliminate your emotions, but frankly its both
1. impossible and
2. pointless as a request

i used to weep and sh** at night, like a lil sissy ( :roll: ) and purely for feeling sorry for myself, cus i dont shed squat of tears for others, but i decided that enough was enough. concious decision. no more boo-hoo.

bottle it up forever for all i care, if i manage to bottle everything up past death, then victory for me :D
if i burst, youll hear about me on the news :I


Since I am a female, therefore inferior, I have to use drugs or have parts removed or deactivated. Or just search for an uncaring love partner who will slap me in the back of my head if I start to cry or whine.


wow your pretty conclusive arent you :D
maybe you need a change of scenario?
just a big change, do you live at home w parents?


Of course I live with parents. I'm a lazy good-for-nothing who can't get a foot out the front door to search for work.



ZEGH8578
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26 Jul 2009, 5:05 pm

Fickle_Pickle wrote:
ZEGH8578 wrote:
Fickle_Pickle wrote:
ZEGH8578 wrote:
Fickle_Pickle wrote:
ZEGH8578 wrote:
Fickle_Pickle wrote:
ZEGH8578 wrote:
Fickle_Pickle wrote:
ZEGH8578 wrote:
Fickle_Pickle wrote:
ZEGH8578 wrote:
its gonna be fun to check back in... 5 years?
and see if you still have all your pesky emotions intact or not :D


I might die by then. I always imagined it would be from a disease or I'd end up a murdered stripper.


see? fun thoughts!

But still no emotional detatchment.


but fun emotions are good emotions

Yeah, right. :roll:


what you dont LIKE JOY?
:S

FUN is GOOD, you know, dopamine and all :I


But how can it be called "joy" or "fun"?


because it is?
do you know what you are in fact missing?
you go on about wanting to eliminate your emotions, but frankly its both
1. impossible and
2. pointless as a request

i used to weep and sh** at night, like a lil sissy ( :roll: ) and purely for feeling sorry for myself, cus i dont shed squat of tears for others, but i decided that enough was enough. concious decision. no more boo-hoo.

bottle it up forever for all i care, if i manage to bottle everything up past death, then victory for me :D
if i burst, youll hear about me on the news :I


Since I am a female, therefore inferior, I have to use drugs or have parts removed or deactivated. Or just search for an uncaring love partner who will slap me in the back of my head if I start to cry or whine.


wow your pretty conclusive arent you :D
maybe you need a change of scenario?
just a big change, do you live at home w parents?


Of course I live with parents. I'm a lazy good-for-nothing who can't get a foot out the front door to search for work.


you probably should find a way to move out. i dont live in your world, so i cant help you there. i would rather start cutting my fingers off than move back to anyone of my parents, even though theyre nice, its simply a non-option. i can barely stand 3 hour visits at any of their places, no wonder your exhausted.

have you studied?
do you want to study something? can you afford it? as in living on some cheap campus?


_________________
''In the world I see - you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center.''


Fickle_Pickle
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27 Jul 2009, 5:03 pm

Now I need some self-emotional detatchment. I can't wait until August 31, then I will start searching for some "special brownies".



amazon_television
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27 Jul 2009, 5:19 pm

Fickle_Pickle wrote:
Now I need some self-emotional detatchment. I can't wait until August 31, then I will start searching for some "special brownies".


Um, I would NOT recommend eating "special brownies" unless you have a significant tolerance for marijuana. Brownies have a very fine line in that if you eat less than the correct dosage, they do nothing, while if you eat the correct dosage, you will get BLASTED--and if you're not used to it, not in a good way. And if you eat more than the "correct" dosage, you probably will freak out briefly and then just fall asleep for 18 hours or so--this even happened to a buddy of mine recently who has smoked weed pretty much every single day for the past 10+ years.

Plus, if you don't already know where to get it, asking someone for "brownies" makes it very easy to rip you off because you will have no idea how much actual weed you are buying, if any at all. If you must eat brownies, make them yourself, because the dosage is very important.

What is the significance of August 31?



Fickle_Pickle
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27 Jul 2009, 5:58 pm

amazon_television wrote:
Fickle_Pickle wrote:
Now I need some self-emotional detatchment. I can't wait until August 31, then I will start searching for some "special brownies".


Um, I would NOT recommend eating "special brownies" unless you have a significant tolerance for marijuana. Brownies have a very fine line in that if you eat less than the correct dosage, they do nothing, while if you eat the correct dosage, you will get BLASTED--and if you're not used to it, not in a good way. And if you eat more than the "correct" dosage, you probably will freak out briefly and then just fall asleep for 18 hours or so--this even happened to a buddy of mine recently who has smoked weed pretty much every single day for the past 10+ years.

Plus, if you don't already know where to get it, asking someone for "brownies" makes it very easy to rip you off because you will have no idea how much actual weed you are buying, if any at all. If you must eat brownies, make them yourself, because the dosage is very important.

What is the significance of August 31?


Um... it was when I can finally go to college. The weed dosen't have to be in brownie form, I'm not sure if I need it or not, it's just that it feels so long for me to get detatched from my feelings. I remember I was more touchy in November... it's been 8 months, and I wonder if it will take 8 more months to detatch to a higher extent.



amazon_television
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27 Jul 2009, 6:05 pm

Now you are thinking better. You're "analyzing" your actual feelings. You need to understand and, more importantly, ACCEPT the feelings you are experiencing if you want to detach from them in a healthy way.

Maybe it does take another 8 months. Maybe longer, who knows? Maybe next week. At least you are acknowledging improvement. I HAVE to assume that knowledge feels good on some level.