1,001 Ways to Cheer Yourself Up

Post Reply New Topic

115) Build a fem-bot for her mind. Have long talks with her.

116) Read the Evil Overlord List and plan your impending world conquest.

117) Curl up with something warm, fuzzy, and friendly.

118) Get a cup of cocoa, a good book, and a nice warm fire and enjoy the cosiness.

119) Sing along to Muppets tunes.

120) Find a trampoline and jump as high as you can on it.

121) Train my fem-bot to use that trampoline in a cheerleading outfit to jump
to the third floor of a diamond storage bank and then have a second fem-bot
knocking out the alarm. Then the fem-bot on the third levels cuts a big circle in
the window while holding it with a suction cup. She then drops a rope in which a
third fem-bot lookout attaches a fluorine tank and an aluminium pipe with hose.
She then uses it to burn a hole in the safe to get me those diamond so I
can make some flaming rings to wear girlfriends.

122. Call the police on The Machine1 and collect reward from CrimeStoppers. Steal his fembots.

123) While in prison I cough up a rubber bag full of diamonds and then say "I will get you Werbert!" "I will get you Werbert!" Evil laughs ha,ha ,ha ,slap a big inmate says " stop the laughing and assume the postion" oh no! We just meet.

124. Bribe a prison guard to take embarrassing photos of TheMachine1 while he is, ahem, "in the position."

125. Bribe same guard to have TheMachine1 killed and steal his diamonds.

126. The guard contacts the same inmate that hmm "I meet before". But little did
that guard know we hit off big time. The inmate really liked me. The inmate says
he will kill me on trash pickup day and throw my body in the trash compactor. On the
day of my "killing". The inmate (Big Bubba) puts me in the trash compactor and turns
it on (lucky for me I fabricated an anti-trash compactor suite with old prison rain coats
and shaving cream. )Part of the deal with the guard will allow Big Bubba to escape
with the trash truck. Oh sorry to say those "diamonds" you got are merely
glass I hand machined with sandpaper and broken shaving cream bottles. The
real diamond are back inside me. The trash truck is on it way to my latest hollowed
out mountain complex.

127. Don a mask and cape and become a superhero fighting against crime, and especially against TheMachine1. Make sure he dies a bloody, awful death.

128) TheMachine1 goes to work on a batch of anti-Werbert-ite. He makes a big
pimp daddy anti-Werbite-ite gem stone in a ring. He holds Werbert Uncle John
(I estimate the odds are 50% Werbert has an Uncle John) hostage for 1 million ..
I mean 100 billion dollars.

Joke's on you. I hate my non-existent Uncle John. In fact, I'd pay you 100 billion dollars if you would take him hostage.

129. Take a nap while TM1 tortures your pretend Uncle John.

130) What kind of superhero would not love his non-existent Uncle John?
TM1 is not dealing with a superhero. Werbert is another superVillian.
TM1 controls the west side. Fat Tony controls the Northside. Terror Tina
controls the Southside. That leave the East side for Werbert and Vinzer The Claw
to fight over.

131. Share the east side?! SHARE THE EAST SIDE?! !! Werbert shares the east side with no one.Thou hast aroused my wrath!! You shall rue the day you met me, TheMachine1!! !! *Returns to nap*

131. Share the east side?! SHARE THE EAST SIDE?! !! Werbert shares the east side with no one. Thou hast aroused my wrath!! You shall rue the day you met me, TheMachine1!! !! *Returns to nap*

Addendum: Besides, Fat Tony's going to have a heart attack soon, so Vinzer can have the North Side.

132. Listen to awesome sound effects, like an echo on an internet message board.

This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one.
-George Bernard Shaw

133. Carry your loved ones' pictures in your wallet, so that you can look at them often when you feel alone.

134. Steal a picture of somebody's loved one and imagine that she's your wife.