suicide

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i still feel like killing myself evry time ive felt good has blacked out in my head

how do you deal with stuff like this

you gotta get past this man
you think it's gonna be like this forever
hell no
you'll get a job, a car, your own place, a girlfriend-you have your whole life ahaid of you
that's something to look forwards too

Bipolar Disorder
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_disorder

It could also possibly be Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-traum ... s_Disorder

You might want to also check this
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anxiety_disorder

Have you told your pschyatrist about suicidal thoughts?

Remember: Tommorrow will ALWAYS be better, even by a little bit.

It'd be very wise to go ahead and be honest about it with your shrink (I just like the word; I don't get them overinflated in my mind LOL). What's the reason that you haven't yet? It's not necessarily going to land you in the hospital; they'll ask you questions to find out to what extent the suicidal thoughts are going on. So long as it's not an emergency situation, you'll have the opportunity to have more/better/more appropriate treatment, sensitively, and you needn't worry.

If you're really in crisis, the hospital isn't necessarily a bad thing, itself. Most people don't think it's the most fun thing in the world, but on the other hand it's kind of a temporary refuge from the stressors one's been dealing with, so the experience sort of evens out. They usually only keep a person for a week or so; while making sure you get stabilized & are getting a better outside support system going. It's extremely rare for a person to be forced into a hospital, because the system to do so is very rigorous. Virtually all hospitalizations are voluntary.

One time I was really suicidal & went into a mental hospital; was there for, I think, 6 days. One thing I can say about it is that it really galvanized me into making sure I had a support system set up for when I left (plenty of therapy, added couples' therapy - maybe a certain amount of family therapy would be possible/helpful for you, don't know). I'd had a very mediocre psychiatrist before going in; when I came out I was about to tell him I was going to find someone else. Before I could, he informed me that he was moving out of state. Lucky me!

What I did to find someone good was to ask everyone (my other docs & therapists, including my family physician, who they'd heard of that people liked). Several people mentioned the same name, and I went to her. Major improvement. This is a little off the primary topic, but illustrates the need to advocate for yourself at times & how to go about making a good change. This is a bit of a ramble, & I apologize, but if someone wants to pm me about it I'll be glad to go into more detail with you about any aspect of finding a good doc, hospital, etc.

Well, so are you saying you've told this shrink, before, about feeling the same way you do now, and he blew you off? It's not an accusation; I'm just confused and unsure if you've actually been very blunt with him about it, or if you're going by the vibes you've gotten from him & not spoken to him. You may need to have an adult make very clear to him how you're feeling, and that lack of response on his part is unacceptable. Because it is.