Rants

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I do, although I just call it "the internet forum I go on".
But mentioning this site often causes a small argument between us (and we hardly argue!) He says I shouldn't go on here if I keep getting upset. But I'm just as addicted to this site as he is the cigarettes. Smoking has caused him to go to hospital a few times with COPD flare-ups but he just can't let the cigarettes go. I don't get on to him about it any more though because if quitting smoking is a hard as quitting an internet forum then I totally understand how addictive it can be even if it's destroying you.

When I posted on impulse here before and got the whole forum mad at me, I went to the ADHD forum I go to (it's not as addictive as this site, as it's less active and not as easy to navigate around like this site). But they all had a go at me too, saying you can't possibly have an impulsive moment on the internet because you have time to think before you post. But impulse doesn't always work like that, especially when addiction is involved. It's a bit like when people (even without ADHD) go on to Amazon and start impulse-buying even though they have a small budget. They could think before they buy but they don't, especially that shopping on Amazon is easy and is done at one click or tap.

It seems that my social instincts kick in when I'm interacting offline or even on Facebook, but here I just become carried away at tapping. Also I forget that there's a wider audience reading my posts here, and I use this place as a sort of blog or diary. Yes I've tried writing an actual blog before but it just didn't feel as enjoyable as writing here, so I ended up losing interest and deleting my blog account.

I know what you meant but this made me lol. I, too, just need a fag sometimes.

I also have impulse control issues and sometimes it is difficult. I had a fight in a pub because of it on Friday night and it could have turned nasty for someone.

You just described nearly every Friday night I had in my late teens early 20's but it was almost always nasty. I was a right w*ker when I was drinking.

You are simultaneously honest and naive, Joe. That is a difficult combination in life generally, but in an environment where you interact with anonymous people some of whom have inflated senses of grievance and high capacities for dudgeon, folks who compete for the title of No One Can Be More Morally Indignant Than I Can, you have to watch your words.

Well there's nothing better than a fight but I'm getting too old for that sh*t now. It wasn't actually my fault but someone just thought they could get in my space and when I told them to eff off it got nasty.

What types of things do you feel like you can’t rant about here?

Yeah I can't say what I nearly did because this isn't the right place but I would have been in jail. I wasn't even drunk and to be honest I had to force myself to get out of 1st gear with this person. I just had to get rid of them out of my face.

I f*****g hate it when I'm having a private conversation with someone and someone else just comes along and starts talking to me as if they know me and then I politely ask them to f*ck off and that then makes them think they have the right to get all verbally abusive towards me. f*****g C*nt!

Trauma is trauma ultimately and you should never minimise what you have been through in comparison to what others have been through.

Yeah best not to say. I'd be in jail if the police had witnessed my fights. I never went looking for trouble and I never started it but I did know how to end it.

Was that someone trying to hit on you? They sound a little entitled.