Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent

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Dear E.

I love you.
I love the control you give me. I love that when you're with me, I need not think of all the things in my life which is hurting me. You keep me company when I am alone, and you keep me alive when I want to kill myself, because you tell me I don't deserve to die yet. I love that you will never leave me, that you won't abandon me, without thought or reason. You give me the tools to change myself, the courage to starve myself of what I do not need. I love that you give me something to strive for, something to work towards when nothing else is clear enough to believe in. I love the structure you give to my life.

I hate you.
I hate how unworthy you make me feel. I hate that you keep shifting the goals, that for every step I take towards what you call perfection, you push perfection two steps away. I hate that because of you I'm more often than not too unfocused to do the things which I love to do. I hate that you take over my life. I hate that you make me hurt the people I love by letting you control me. I hate how guilty you make me feel. I hate how fat you make me feel. I hate that you make me even consider giving up large parts of my life just because it'd make it easier for me to oblige you. I hate how you make other people misjudge me. I hate how you're wrecking my life. I hate how weak and pathetic you make me feel. I hate how addicted I am to you. I hate that nothing is ever good enough. I hate how you yell at me if I slip and fall. I hate that you make me hate myself.

love-hate,
me.

Dear WP,

Stop making me angry.

From Berserker.

Dear Berserker,


how does WP make you angry?


~Annoying Ana

Dear C.M.,

Stop making me sick. Stop. Don't throw my disorders and syndromes in my face. Unlike you, I don't like talking about them. Unlike you, I feel ill at ease when you mention my problems out loud. You violate personal space. Stop. Stop making comments about my disorders. Stop, stop, stop.

/me.

Dear Depth,


what's happening? It sounds interesting!


Dear Father,


please let's be nice and forget about our past embarrassments, and live alongside each other peacefully. Thanks.


~Ann

Dear Depth,


Oh yeah, I know what you mean, but if anyone made me unable to do something because I had AS, I would go after THEM... and it would turn into an international incident.


Dear J,


you think you're The s**t. Go to a shrink and get some drugs; not all drugs are bad.

Dear WP:

I'm a bit heartbroken by hearing about those Aspies who either committed suicide, tried to, or even thought about it. I knew all along that it isn't AS that causes those other demons in the minds of some other Aspies, especially after watching that clip from Good Morning, America about the suicide of William Freund (Alex communicated quite well for being on national TV). There was a time where even I thought of suicide, but I was barred by my family for even thinking about it. It's amazing how much one's environment determines the outcome of how their AS affects their life. Personally, AS has brought me quite a few hardships that are yet to be overcome, but it has also given me some gifts. It is a gift and a curse. It has two sides to it like a coin. I just hope that I might be able to share some of the wealth or at least allow other Aspies to see how much good it can really do in one's life, as long as their willing to live with the hardships as well.

Yoshie

This is the wrong place for this post, but I can't find a better one. For some reason I didn't see the topic regarding the recent passing of a WP member until yesterday. I'm shocked and saddened that this beautiful girl has gone.

Fresco, it could go in Rants...


Dear Suzie,


you and I could have had such a blast but for my complex reasons I didn't want attention, didn't want anyone to remember me, so I didn't keep in contact with you. I sometimes wish I had been fast and asked for your email before you got off the bus.


~your friend from the Europe trip

Dear Coolgamer,


I don't know if I should just forget the JRC thing or what; we're not doing it, or don't seem to be, but should I go back on there and ask you to come here and stay and spend a lot of time on herE? You seemed a bit proud for it but I KNOW you have another side that would understand and enjoy this!


~Nastia

Dear People Who Yelled At Me From A Car Today,
Firstly, f**k you. What the hell do you mean by yelling "Nice outfit, dickhead, " at someone who you've never met? Secondly, what is wrong with my outfit? It fits, matches and suits me.
It's funny YOU criticising MY sense of style when you were falling out of clothes made of cheap tatty material in colours that look like faded versions of real colours. Clas-sy. Also classy is your accent; you sound like you were born and bred in the gutter. You sound like your voice has been ruined by countless cigarettes. You would probably be just the type to begin smoking in high school, aged 13, because it was the cool thing to do. I wonder if the consequences are as cool?
You have hair the colour of straw, and a pinched, cynical, bitter face. I could take an ugly pill and still be gorgeous compared to you.
You'll probably be a checkout chick for the rest of your life. You'll never achieve anything worthwhile. You'll never learn anything worth knowing. If you have children, they'll be as bad as you. You'll never be curious. You'll never be truly happy.

I WILL.

Enjoy your life,

- Rachel -

Dear 'friend'.

You were always being tested, and never convincing. I don't hate you (I really don't know why) but I don't like you either. I no longer respect or admire you. You're just as screwed up as I am, and really need therapy. Just a short note - I'll write more later!

Moi.

Dear Achii-chan,

Please come back.

with love,
silly Anu.