Rants

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Well, I've fallen into a pit of depression yet again.
Not ranting.
I'm too apathetic to rant.
Just putting it out there with as little human contact as possible.

when in love，Most of the time , happy, but a few times， in pain.
My girlfriend is a very gentle person, so when friction occurs, my mistakes become more obvious.
She always complains that I don't care about her enough.
She wanted me to write her letters and send her flowers. She wanted me to monitor her life and social circle. She tried to distance herself from me verbally in order to make me show displeasure. When I responded calmly, she became even more upset and accused me of not loving her. She wanted me to recognize her uniqueness and therefore not leave her.
These points all sound lovely and intoxicating, unless you are as bad as me.
I like giving her money and not monitoring her life.
She doesn't like money and thinks I don't care about her life
I don't understand why she wants me to think she's special or why she needs to get mad to prove that I love her.
I'm an idiot, she's unlucky.
I'm terrible

I can't handle sadness

I think I found what I wanted
Very Short Introductions (VSI) is a book series published by the Oxford University Press (OUP).

Right-wing government: You must take the first job that comes along otherwise we'll stop your money

Employers: If you hate this job so much then why are you here?

Being poor and unskilled sucks.

I think upstairs neighbours that sweep bedrooms and living-rooms so frequently are inconsiderate a**holes. Vacuuming would ironically probably be quieter. When sweeping hard floors with a broom all you can hear is the broom clanging against every piece of furniture and skirting-board, and they have no idea how loud it echoes down the walls into the room below. I feel like shoving their broom where the sun don't shine.

I did bang on the ceiling one time when they were sweeping, but they just banged back on the floor with the broom and carried on sweeping noisily.

-> Thanks for the Hint Belijojo, nice book series. another similar recomendation: https://pll.harvard.edu/catalog/free

My 2 cents on generically understanding a woman's needs: they need to feel assured one doesn't merely like them just a little. They want to be assured their man is just 1 notch short of crazy for them (shown with the enthusiastic buying of flowers and other thoughtful gestures). It's this latter sort of guy who will be less likely to leave them once he's gotten what he wants. A merely lukewarm guy comes across as suspicious because he may be fickle and just drift away when his desires deflate

Here's my rant. The greeks have a great saying: "The People Make the Town". So true. Everyone speaks of high-minded idealism (and the ideology they subscribe to is sometimes easy to identify, once you hear the keywords from the "loaded language", which said ideologies employ). Despite all this idealism, look at their actual behavior. How do they live their lives? Look at their morality - especially behind closed doors, or in private. Their actions speak louder than words.

It turns out my Autism is highly optimized, and highly streamlined to deal with - albeit ungracefully - the actual people who make up said town. My Autism is an optimized means of avoidance. Avoidance of what? Avoidance of a cacophony of social gong shows (once the consequences eventually come around), which all the NT people around me cleverly pull off, with a high degree of social grace and over-confidence that they know exactly what they're doing, thank you very much.

You also have a greatly developed sense for justice and despise hypocrisy as much as I and many of us do maestro! Nice, I often get similar bursts of anguish/anger when seeing it displayed by our non-disabled NT peers... I used to think "No, Kada, you're being to extreme, they probably are just having an bad day or a moment of distraction, ..."
But after walking this planet for some time, and seeing the behaviors of our NT-peers, I found my 'patience' recoiling. My approach to dealing with this was to 'hit the book' and learn as much as I possibly could about neurology and our minds.
What I learned and I would be very interested to hear your thought on this, is that our NT-peers (and some ND peers) have a build in "blind- or muted- spot" as their limbic system auto dampens and pushes them from self-reflection and evaluation in this area, even more, when pushed their minds will supplies them with 'justifications' This dampened my 'anger' a bit, as I had now a 'context' to frame the behaviors with. But... and taking the "he without sin cast the first stone" -idiom seriously, I made damn sure my actions were above reproach by their ideology (as much as possible)and now I know I am in "a position of power" as I now allow myself to judge an action (never a person) as hypocritical, wrong or ... this made me much less angry and much more content, perhaps as you stated it gave me the means and clearness of mind to be able to "avoid" or when required to "act". Even my NT-kids see the utility in that approach.

kind regards,
Kada

And are we all supposed to jump up and down for joy at the news that a packet of dry spaghetti is only 28p

Its what you put on the bloody stuff that costs a flipping fortune

We all know that

You could always eat the spaghetti dry? As horrible as that sounds, it would be cheap, at least.

I used to make lasagne sheets and gravy when I was a kid

It was my dinner party special

Every flipping Saturday morning the pressure on the water goes so low you can't get a shower or put a washing on

It drives me nuts
Seriously

I can't have a bath with my broken ribs and I couldn't have a shower so I've just ended up having a good wash

It's the whole estate so we're all walking around amidst a swarm of flies
At least I'm not the only one

I think I'm going to have to trust pilot them and try and get some kind of rebate off them
I'm paying nearly 80 quid a month for water and I can't even have a blinking shower in my own blinking flat

This sounds deeply frustrating, bb.

Sorry to hear about all of this.

It's OK mate
I was just really looking forward to my shower earlier and I thought they'd fixed the issue

But I put the shower on and nothing

We get it through the kitchen but by the time it's the bathroom it's just right down

This has been going on for years

They're supposed to be finally fixing it on Monday according to all accounts

I'll just have to have a cats lick until then

'A cats lick'?

Is that some sort of wash?

Hopefully they'll get it all fixed for you.