he still won't leave it alone.

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I would attack that man for you if I could.

i'm going to have a shower.
admitting all this makes me feel filthy.
i can't tell stefan, ever.
he won't want me now i'm contaminated.

bye.

He'd want you no matter what. He's your boyfriend for a reason. You are not filthy either. :\

Beware of ensuing mini-rant...

OK, your defeatist attitude is really starting to piss me off. Defeatist attitudes in general piss me off, though, not just yours.

Normally, I'm a reserved, polite, and empathetic person, but I'm really starting to get frustrated with your attitude here. Maybe that's my empathy taking over in a different way, though. Reading all this stuff about how there's 'nothing you can do' is just so much BS, in my opinion. There is always something you can do. It just depends on whether you genuinely want to do something about it. You do want to do something about it, right? Because if not, I'd say go talk to a psychologist about the possibility that you have a martyr complex.

Seriously, I've personally met homeless people on the bus that are threatened, stalked, harassed and even assaulted by gang members on an almost weekly basis, and they literally have nothing and no one to turn to. Absolutely nothing. No friends, no family, no co-workers, not even other street people. They've hit rock bottom in their lives, and they still don't get as emotionally distressed and logically paralyzed as you seem to be letting this one guy's actions make you.

It's harsh, but I'm saying it anyway, because it's how I truly feel:

Get over yourself. Honestly, what is so friggin' hard about making a little effort to live a normal a life as possible while this gets resolved?

End mini-rant...

He raped and beat me.
I'm sorry if that doesn't make me cheerful.
Now kindly f**k off.
Thanks.

Zokk this is the Haven, a safe place for people who need help or want to vent. If you can't contribute in a constructive manner just don't post in here.

If all it takes for you to live a normal life is a "little effort" I'm very happy for you. Just don't judge others or tell them to get over themselves, you don't know what they've been through and what past trauma they're fighting against.

Emma you need to call Stefan and then go to the police and hospital. Now. If he did that to you they'll open a new case and go after this guy a lot stronger.

You can do it - it's not your fault and this guy belongs in prison. Call Stefan.

Emma! Christ. Go to the police and report him. Do not take a shower, do not have a bath. Go directly to the police and report everything that happened.

Emma, do this please.

You're too kind. Personally, I just wish he would blow his brains out and end everyones problems.

Oh no

You don't deserve any of it Emma. Go to the police now and get yourself to a hospital. Make sure they take pictures of any injuries you have and that they take DNA swabs.

He's going to jail for a long time if you do. You need to do this to be free of him.. please don't keep hiding it you already know it wont end until you take him out of the picture.

Let our boyfriend help you.

He is there to help you have a better life. What this monster is doing to you is illegal, and like someone said he belongs in a prison cell.

You will be a victim if you just let it happen, I know you're stronger than that, and you have it in you to give these scumbags what they deserve.

I really wish you lived close to me so I could help you through and give you the support you deserve. But your Boyfriend is there and he can do that. Don't close him out.

emlion, ill be honest your code of silence is only hurting you. You keep making excuses that while may make you comfortable they are just making the problems worse. I can understand not wanting to tell stefan for fear of him thinking worse of you but tell a higher authority at minimum. From what Ive read here in the states they would have an undercover police unit following you to catch this person.

I'm so sorry to hear that that prick is still not getting the message.

It's not the time to take a backwards step after how far you've come lately, you need to maintain the strength you've had and follow things through with the police. Its the only way you'll ever resolve it and have some control of your own life em.

I can only echo what has been said by others, don't shut Stefan out, he would literally do anything for you. Letting him help you shouldn't make you feel helpless or anything else, and you aren't giving him control or giving into him by asking for help, you'll be asking for help and in partnership.

As much as most of us would like to be there and form a posse to sort this idiot out, that would likely only make him retaliate against you further and escalate things,. So i know its not easy, but you really have to pursue this with the police. If they wont listen, let us know which police district you're in and im sure a few dozen emails sent by members every 10 minutes or so would make them take it seriously.

The main thing is to not panic and feel alone and helpless, we are all here and will help as best we can.

OK, now that I didn't hear about. That changes things completely. I take back what I said. No one should have to experience that. Now I feel like a total a**hole. I apologize.

Yes, GO to the police

I know we're all nagging you but you really need to do this. You can get him out of your life for good

I know it's hard and I can't even begin to think what somethign like this is like, but please do it

Don't let this son of a b***h get away with what he has done to you

NO woman (or man) deserves this. Think about it. Would you ever say that another girl in your position deserved it? Of course not, so why would you think that of yourself?

Please go to someone. If you don't feel comfortable with the police, go to the hospital and ask for a female nurse/doctor if that would make it easier. There are people who have helped girls who've ben raped before, they'll be able to hewlp you too