I don't want to be a narcissist

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Well I'd say that the only narcissists here were the groomers (or whatever you like to call them). They lied on the forums and exploited people in PMs.

But some people are quick to pin the narcissist label on to anyone who doesn't share the same opinion, doesn't understand something, has a few hang ups, is too emotional, or told a few white lies.

I have been called nearly every name and label under the sun on this forum but was never called a narcissist till this thread even though Pepe made it in jest

Can't say I've ever been called one either, not even on WP. I'm always told the opposite, that I should care more about myself and less about others. What's that called? An empath? Maybe it's that "lack of self" concept from the autism video I shared.

I wouldn't assume everyone who's a creep (even a successful creep) has some more significant pathological label behind the behaviour, sometimes people just feel entitled to be malignant.

I think there comes a point when trying to ascribe these labels to people that they end up being used as more of an insult than anything related to an actual evaluation.

To be klear:
I am not attacking what you have said.

For decades I have pointed out that we tend to be "egocentric" rather "egotistical".
This was before I discovered the concept of "Theory of mind" and the lack of it.

If you look at the definition, you can see how it reflects the lack of theory of mind associated with autism:


https://www.verywellmind.com/what-does- ... ic-4164279

This has nothing to do with narcissism, however.

I’ve never been called a narcissist, either. I’ve been told that I don’t speak up enough, especially when it comes to my own self - experience, desires, or needs.

I am more comfortable talking about those things online than I am in person, but I’ve still never been called a narcissist. I tend to put other people’s needs ahead of my own.

If people think they could have a personality disorder, they should probably ask a psychologist for appropriate testing rather than consult laypeople online. None of us can know if you do or don’t have narcissism since we aren’t trained professionals who’ve met with you in-person.

Well I've never taken advantage of people in my life, and I always find myself bending over backwards to help or support others. I've never bullied anyone either, even when I was accepted by a group of bullies once who were bullying a coloured boy with learning difficulties, I felt very uncomfortable and just couldn't do it. I'm glad I didn't, because otherwise I'd probably be regretting it to this day even though it was like 15 years ago and I don't even know him any more. I bet the girls who bullied him aren't spending their lives regretting it though...

I totally believe it and that is why I support you.

She can't be because she isn't.

We all develop an "internet persona" almost opposed to how we are in real life. I feel I can assert myself better here because of the anonymity, but that's not to say I go around looking for trouble (like going around deliberately trolling people for the fun of it). But I've been a member here for 13 years so I suppose I have got quite comfortable and not afraid to speak my mind. If I speak my mind offline most people seem more agreeable and they seem to relate to me and have similar views.

Also anxiety can play a huge part. I'm not a blunt person generally but when I'm freaking out online about something that is making me anxious, I tend to say things I regret. Offline it's easier to express myself without having to freak out too much, because it only takes one look at my face and body language to know that I'm anxious so I can be calmer and cooler in my language (how I express myself verbally). Online it's a little bit more difficult to contain myself when I'm having an anxiety attack because people can't see my body language or anything so instead I have to use only words to express myself. And, no offense, but most of the emojis here are rather crap.
Especially this f**k ---->> Aaagghh!! I hate it!!

I wouldn't accuse you of having NPD Joe90.

I know.

Nobody in this thread has.

I don't even know who did, but I know I have been called narcissist here before.

If you are referring to this thread:

viewtopic.php?t=411899&start=80

I am sorry if I implied I was saying that about you. I wasn't. Didn't mean for it to be taken that way. Somehow the discussion turned to narcissism and I just brought up a different type that I thought might be more common in ASD. I wasn't implying that anyone on that thread was like that.

That's good to know. I don't have the time to read through a full conversation.

I'm not referring to any threads in particular. I don't like to make veiled threads/posts like that, as it can cause paranoia from other members, which I can understand (it's easy to worry that a thread is referring to you when the nature of the thread is talking about a recent argument or controversial post you may have been involved with).

I got this idea from a mention of covert narcissism from another thread, and I googled it and freaked out when it said about covert narcissists lack in self-ego. Then I questioned my entire existence and thought "what if I am a narcissist?" Usually narcissists get shamed and viewed as toxic, manipulative or dangerous. Even here there are a lot of discussions in L&D about dating a narcissist and how to spot the red flags and so on. And after some of my post history here (which I prefer not to bring up specifically), I got the feeling that some people around here might think I'm a terrible narcissist because of my behaviour.

Yes I know that, which is why it's easy to become paranoid that people are doing it even when they aren't. Then usually when people get paranoid they just get called "self-centred" because of thinking it's about them. But that doesn't make one self-centred if social anxiety and trust issues is the cause of those feelings. Part of it is quite natural for a human to think "are they referring to me??"