I'm not doing so good.

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I saw once on the TV abt a woman who was on the spectrum. She had 5 children. There was nobody who could care abt her and she could not care about herself either. She just delivered those children to the world and abandoned them. There was nobody to stop her from leaving, I guess. Those poor kids, I think bound to a miserable life. I think it is very cruel to them.

Last edited by Naturella on 12 Dec 2008, 12:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

Its not even the autistic kids that may be the problem. My ex-wife has two autistic sons (mine) and an NT son, and she has no control over the NT, no ability to understand him, and nowhere near the ability to give him the attention he demands.. as opposed to my sons, who mostly are capable of operating with minimal interaction, and have been for years. They, like me, are independent-minded people, and have no issue with being alone a lot.

MADDuck: I would have posted pictures but they were all too large to be able to be uploaded into my Villagephotos account.

put them on your photobucket page, they automatically reduce the size for ya!

http://s257.photobucket.com/albums/hh220/florine54/

Oh, I forgot I had that account. I'll post them in the post pictures of your children thread in the Parents' Discussion forum. I would have posted some of Finn with Jack but Jack wouldn't let me. I also would have posted some later ones but they're not on the computer.

I posted as JAck again, sorry. It was me that said: Oh, I forgot I had that account. I'll post them in the post pictures of your children thread in the Parents' Discussion forum. I would have posted some of Finn with Jack but Jack wouldn't let me. I also would have posted some later ones but they're not on the computer.

wow i didnt even know you were pregnant ana. ive been out of the loop for awile though, whatever you do do not leave your kid for another woman to raise, not only will you regret it in 20 or so years ittle ruin your kids life. goodluck though, this is why im scared of getting a girl pregnant (not that i have sex) but if i did i would be more responsible and dont let people bully you into posting pictures of finnegan, you dont have to and im shure hes beautiful

Thanks, Richard. But I wanted to post them, so I posted them.


Now I really really want to go to sleep but I'm also lonely and want to talk to someone. Furthermore, I probably won't be able to do either of those things because Finn is going to be crying for more food soon!

Your feelings bring back memories. Having a new baby is hard, a baby who has digestion problems makes it doubly hard. I couldn't bear for anyone to be around, except my baby, when I had my first baby.

Jack seems nice, and his mum is helping, but you all will get on each others nerves, it's inevitable given the stress of a new baby and having to live and cope with each other whilst learning to care and cater to the needs of a new baby.
A crying baby sets up a stress response in adults who are close by, the stress of a babies cry isn't much fun for anybody.

My babies spat up and screamed as well. It took awhile but eventually I worked out I couldn't drink milk products, I couldn't digest a protein in milk. This undigested protein was coming through into my breast milk and my baby couldn't digest the protein either. The milk caused indigestion in my baby and this resulted in spitting up and screaming and inability to settle to sleep.

Try eliminating all milk products from your diet. This includes anything with milk in; including butter, cream, yoghurt and cheese.
Colic doesn't come from not holding your baby straight enough when feeding or winding.

In Japan winding a baby is not done, I was told it was a cultural thing, I wonder if it is related to the fact that the Japanese (traditionally) do not drink cow's milk (as far as I know).

You are a good person, a good mum to Fin/Lars.
You want to be a good mum, and that counts for a lot.

I remember becoming incredibly angry with my babies, but I loved them heaps and heaps.

Gazing at your baby and wanting to feed him are the best things you can do for your baby.

Wanting to get away tells me you disparately need some time out during your day.
Babies make that hard and it is like losing your freedom for a time.
Can you arrange with Jack and his mum, to allow you to have some time away from your baby during the day. Babies settle (usually) in prams while out on a walk. Maybe take Fin for a walk. Organise a daily routine (if baby allows it) maybe attempt to gently demand it from your baby.

Eliminate milk products from your diet.

2 mg of risperidone will make you feel very flat and tired. But if your doctor is worried about hypomania maybe you need to take it.
But ...blame your medication for your lack of energy, don't blame yourself.
You are a special person.

Thanks, Lucy.


I doubt it's breast milk. He doesn't get much, maybe 2 ounces a day (I don't produce much).


I don't know if this is good, but I don't feel so alone knowing that your baby was crying because of something you were doing.


It wasn't Fin I wanted to get away from, but criticism from other people.


By normal standards we don't get on each other's nerves at all, basically. But by my supersensitive standards I'm getting told off when I do something wrong and sometimes when I don't.

All the best to you Ana, sounds like you're getting the hang of it.
Stay positive!

It's a learning curve, basically. You're going to make mistakes, and you're going to get frustrated. That's what babies do.

Only thing you can do is not let that screaming bag of squish win! You are his mother, and what you say goes, no matter how much he cries and annoys, lol.

How are things going now?

For the most part, what you describe sounds like what many parents experience but are afraid to talk about because it's considered socially taboo to express too many negative thoughts or emotions about your child. But I think what you're going through may be a more common type of experience than you realize.

I hope you can use your local free resources, or whatever works for you, to sort these things out. It will take time and patience. Talking to someone who specializes in counseling new mothers would probably help. If doing so in person sounds too overwhelming, there are probably numerous web forums that offer support.

And (please don't take this the wrong way), if you're considering giving him up for adoption, that doesn't make you a bad parent and it isn't necessarily the wrong thing to do. It could be the right thing to do - I don't know you and your family so I have no idea.

Just try to find a way to evaluate all of this objectively, after gathering more information - as much information as possible.

And remember that parenting is really hard and no one does a perfect job at it - that's why it's normal for kids to complain about their parents and parents to complain about their kids. It's just how life is. All you can do is give it your best effort.

Come on, be serious, this is not funny

I wasn't trying to be funny: I was being harsh and judgemental, out of resentment of certain things.