12 Jun 2009, 6:00 am
(update, problem solved :] )
hes getting married in the north of norway
i dont wanna go for many reasons, its far, im gonna hafta stay there for at LEAST a whole day but most likely a whole weekend or more (im broke. im gonna have to travel when they travel), i know nobody there except him and i suspect he will be busy getting married and stuff :b
and of course, i dunno how to tell him. he doesnt know im what i am, he just knows im weird
he keep calling my phone, and i refuse to pick up. i allready told him a "meeeeeeeehhh!" where i tried to politely decline the invitation allready, but he eagerly told me that travelling and staying there would be on their account 
im almost just hoping the friendship will end allready, just to get this out of the way.
but that would also be kinda sad...
Last edited by ZEGH8578 on 12 Jun 2009, 7:52 am, edited 1 time in total.
12 Jun 2009, 6:13 am
12 Jun 2009, 6:21 am
i live in norway
but norway's rugged and long, its gonna be 9 hours bus/train/car north of here
my main problem is this: ill be stuck there, precisely cus its on their account
if i need to retreat, forget it, ill be stuck. for one day, two days, three days, four? who knows, its a wedding:(
theyre also the type to have lots of time, i know that from before. they offered to drive me home from a place once, and went by some uncle and stayed there for a WHOLE DAY! and that was just a random improvisation
if he had arranged the wedding here, sure, i woulda gone, smiled at the ceremony, and went home
12 Jun 2009, 7:48 am
I do not like going to things like that exactly for the reasons you stated. I like to be in control of my situation and I would not want to feel obligated (but you are obligated to him/her because they are paying and your a guest) to the friend while I was there. It is somewhat ok if I get my own hotel room so at least I have some personal space and a wifi conection I really hate staying at someones home as a guest.
About a year ago I was invited to stay the weekend with a friend and their family in a cabin in the mountains. It was about a 4 hour drive away. I politely declined. Unfortunealty I think she took offense to my decline and we don't talk that much any more. It is this part of social interaction I really don't understand very well.
12 Jun 2009, 7:50 am
12 Jun 2009, 7:51 am
I really hate staying at someones home as a guest.About a year ago I was invited to stay the weekend with a friend and their family in a cabin in the mountains. It was about a 4 hour drive away. I politely declined. Unfortunealty I think she took offense to my decline and we don't talk that much any more. It is this part of social interaction I really don't understand very well.
i just wrote him a text, i thought i MUST at least confront him, or our friendship is surely doomed
he doenst know im aspie either, so i just told him i was struggling w things lately (he knows me, he knows im weird.. ) and that i couldnt handle the confrontation of talking to him all this time. i politely re-declined his invitation, and wished him a nice ceremony. shortly after he texted me back that it was okay, and even wished ME luck...
(i need the luck, so ill use it for something useful...)
at least its out of the way :I *relief*
12 Jun 2009, 7:54 am
12 Jun 2009, 11:35 am
12 Jun 2009, 4:33 pm
He really wanted to share his joy with you, so make that possible. When he and his bride return from their honeymoon (if they have one) get together with them and do something you'll all enjoy to celebrate. Dinner, a nice picnic, ??? and a small gift for the couple with a card. Try to make a good impression on his wife, as well.
You know what you can handle, but please don't neglect to rejoice in your friend's good fortune.
i know, and if he had held the wedding _here_ closer to the city at least, i could easily have spent a day, for then to crash like a downed helicopter back at home
but i would definitely have gone
but yeah ive allready neglected the guy way too much, and he keeps calling :S its incredible that he even cares at all, so yeah... its too stupid to just waste it, especially considering that he even had so much patience this time too. he musta called over 20 times to ask about wether or not i'd come...
12 Jun 2009, 8:59 pm
Just remember... dwelling on what a lousy friend you've been, thinking of woulda's coulda's shoulda's doesn't amount to a hill of beans if you don't shift your backside and actually DO something. 
12 Jun 2009, 11:03 pm
13 Jun 2009, 10:05 am
I really hate staying at someones home as a guest.About a year ago I was invited to stay the weekend with a friend and their family in a cabin in the mountains. It was about a 4 hour drive away. I politely declined. Unfortunealty I think she took offense to my decline and we don't talk that much any more. It is this part of social interaction I really don't understand very well.
i just wrote him a text, i thought i MUST at least confront him, or our friendship is surely doomed
he doenst know im aspie either, so i just told him i was struggling w things lately (he knows me, he knows im weird.. ) and that i couldnt handle the confrontation of talking to him all this time. i politely re-declined his invitation, and wished him a nice ceremony. shortly after he texted me back that it was okay, and even wished ME luck...
(i need the luck, so ill use it for something useful...)
at least its out of the way :I *relief*
I'm glad it all worked out. A true friend is understanding. I think it's good to have at least one or two true friends
