Everything is just wrong.

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I always feel like an outsider.
Im not sure if Im gonna be able to hack it at University (not academically but socially)
Im missing college having left nearly 3 weeks ago
I can't get over one of my exs despite her proving to be a liar and hypocrite and a new bf (though sugar daddy would be a more appropriate term) because nobody ever likes me therefore I can't move on.
Im worried I'll never be truly happy.
Everyday I wake up feeling angry, lost, confused and upset.

Everything is just wrong.

Just an observation.

You are 23 years and you are just starting University?

Your grandfather probably left school at 14 or 16, got married at 19 and had two children by your age.

David Nevin the actor had been to school and Sandhurst and was a subaltern in the army at the age of 17.

We treat grown men and women as children until they are 25 or older and finished their "education".
Then we wonder why they are screwed up.

You are in an insider here, Daemonic-Jackal. Welcome home!

with all due respect Wombat what is your point?

also what is that supposed to mean? im not familar with Aspie lingo.

Me too
I couldn't hack uni, for 4 years, I kept failing, now I have an $18,000 hecs debt, and no degreeI also struggle that it is hard to get a girlfriend because of AspergersI agree
You are spot on the money

Whew! I wonder what you can do to get unstuck from the place you are at? I hate to see you so miserable.

You're just about to start uni? That's actually pretty lucky. Everyone will be new and getting to know each other initially: make sure you socialise! Don't worry about finding a particular group or latching onto someone in particular: just be friendly (smile loads, ask people questions about themselves, don't complain... ) and you'll fall into a group somewhere down the line. Another thing that helps is volutneering for things like class rep or student council: it lets people get to know you and will help you feel more involved in the community.

What course are you doing btw?

If you actually knew my background it's not actually as lucky as one would assume. It's taken a lot of hard work for me to get to where I am now. I have no problem with socialising, but the problem for me is I end up one of those people that everybody knows, but no one really knows (if you know what I mean) someone who drifts in and out of circles but never gets pinned down. Because of this I always end up feeling unappreciated, unwanted and not getting the respect as a person that I think I deserve. Regards my course Im gonna be doing a BA Honours Degree in Tv & Radio Production, at Salford University, Manchester, England. I also wanna do a Masters in Journalism afterwards if all goes to plan. Whilst at Salford I also intend to get involved with the student radio station and newspaper.

I do also a very nice job lined up for July and August. But everyday I still wake up crying on the inside feeling as if something is missing.

The other reason for my current depression is how I always ended up being mistreated by women. My last 3 gfs have given me false explanations for splitting up with me, including the one I refer to in my original post who im pretty sure is the love of my life, despite having been in other relationships over the past 2 years I still cannot get past her. The fact I always get turned down and never given a chance by anyone I like the look of (or they just use me as a stopgap until someone else comes in for them) doesn't help either. Although ironically I've just lost of one my so called best friends due to her being jealous of me sulking over my exs (long story)

So all in all, im not in a good place at present. But thanks for the support people.

You sound very similar to someone I know: they're the life and soul of the party when they're out, but very introverted in reality and a bit of a mystery to others. I think people probably have a lot more respect for you than you think, but each group may have thought you were part of another, so didn't realise you were on your own deep down. In your case, maybe find someone in your year who's a bit quiet and a bit of a loner. They may appreciate you as a friend more than others would.

Hmm, what's the story with your friend? Is there any chance she fancies you? Might be worth a shot, although if you're moving to uni soon, this might be a bad time for a relationship (ok, I'm not one to talk about timing, I know...)

That's what I'm like at church. Everyone sees me every week, but no one has any idea what I think. Amazing how it is just assumed that everyones believes the same things. No one asksMy last (and only) two girlfriends never actually "broke up" with me. They simply began subsequent relationships and made excuses they didn't contact me (initially) or just didn't answer my calls at all. Eventually after many attempts when I rang the second one's mobile last a male voice answered it yelling abuse at me - I assume that was the new bf. The fact is, this is what women are like in the western world in the 21st century. They have no intention of maintaining their relationships when it doesn't suit them, and nor does society expect them to do so. This goes for non-Asperger couples as well, although Aspergers men have a bit more trouble communicating, but that's still no excuse

Im actually moving in 3 and hf wks back to my home city Birmingham to work for a friend of mine with the job they have lined up for me.

Regards the so-called friend who's called Lizzi, right now I wouldn't give her a virus, nevermind any sort of affection or attention. It's a very long complex story which started this time about a year ago when she started getting very clingly always complaining to me about her bf mistreating her telling me loads of stuff I wasn't suppose to know. She also sent me a msg saying she loved me. When I asked her about this she claimed she only meant it as a friend (though later on when her bf found she claimed it was meant for him and not so thats a contradiction) A few days later one of her mates accused me of trying on with them when I didnt (probably just to put her off me) so then Lizzi just ignored me and it all died down for a while.

Another situation bubbled up about 6 weeks later when after getting off the bus I found sat all on her own, after she'd had a blowout with her bf and one of his mates (who's also a good buddy of mine) She asks me to walk her down to the graveyard where the other two are, at first I refuse as her bf and my mate will jump to the wrong conclusion and which point she says I could have taken advantage of her if I had wanted to. I dont act on it I just make sure she gets to the graveyard safe.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago, where Im hacked off about my ex getting a new bf, I decide to go out and drown my sorrows (as you do) Lizzi then starts messaging me constantly calling me a fairy (which I know is hardly offensive but I wasnt in the mood and she knew this) I kept asking her why but she carried on so I ended up snapping at her telling her to f*ck off and leave me alone. She then posts on facebook saying (without naming me) that she was trying to cheer me up when she knew what she doing the whole time. I did aplogise the day after but she refused to accept she shouldnt have provoked me in the first place. Last week she then tried the same tactic using someone elses mobile in order to try get them into trouble. I pass this all onto her bf though he refuses to get involved. Friday just gone, we'll all out in our usual gang and she still keeps trying to get a reaction firstly dragging one of her mates into the argument so I have to tell them to mind their own f*cking business. Later on I attempt to be civil but then a verbal game of tennis ensues when she tries everything to try wind me up, when that doesnt work she then accuses me of spiking her drink a few weeks ago (obviously not true). Then i start getting genuinely annoyed so I let slip how she pretends to be engaged *que awquard silence from everyone* then she challeneges me to sort everything out with her privately. At this point she then starts back-tracking claiming shes sorry, admitting shes a liar and a hypocrite, then criticising me for sulking over my exs and that I deserve better (about the only true thing she said all evening) but i've already lost my head at this point so I remind that shes in no position to pass judggement and also remind her about her bf cheating and spitting on her, at which point she then slaps me, throws her drink over me, then fills up and storms off. I haven't heard from her or her bf since.

It sounds like something thats gotten completely out of hand, but in truth she had it coming for a long time, in the past she constantly moaned to me about how her bf treats her (shes only with him cus nobody else wants her) and how other people keep pushing her around yet the minute i stand upto her for pissing me off I get completely demonised. Ever since I told her I'd gotten into the Uni that I'd wanted (about 6 weeks ago) she completely changed acting nice as pie when no one else was around but always trying to wind me up when everyone else was about as if shes trying to prove a point.

The sad thing is there are times when I could sense the tension and the attraction between me and her. I've haven't told anyone this in person but before she turned into acting like a b***h I was gonna ask her to come with me (as a friend) to Salford in September as she said she was fed up of being stuck in the rut she was in and never being able to get anywhere in life.

But it's too late now and to be honest, I think im much better off without her in my life.